Changes

===Lesson===

===Lesson===

First of all, understand that self forgiveness is not a simple intellectual decision. You have all experienced the understanding in your mind that God is forgiving and understanding, and that none of you stand in debt to Him; and at the same time feel guilty, remorseful, resentful of your imperfections, hasty and impatient to be done with your habits that bring you grief. In other words, at the same moment that you intellectually understand that you are forgiven by the Source of your life, you almost stubbornly hold on to your lower self opinion. Surely, if you could simply say, "Ok, I forgive myself", it would be done, wouldn't it?

First of all, understand that self [[forgiveness]] is not a simple [[intellectual]] [[decision]]. You have all [[experience]]d the understanding in your [[mind]] that [[God]] is forgiving and understanding, and that none of you stand in debt to Him; and at the same time feel [[guilty]], remorseful, resentful of your imperfections, hasty and impatient to be done with your habits that bring you grief. In other [[words]], at the same [[moment]] that you [[intellectual]]ly understand that you are forgiven by the Source of your life, you almost stubbornly hold on to your lower [[Self Evaluation|self opinion]]. Surely, if you could simply say, "Ok, I forgive myself", it would be done, wouldn't it?

Virginia: Ha! (Chuckling from group)

Virginia: Ha! (Chuckling from group)

Daniel: But...it doesn't work that way. Now, I will pause here and state that without intellectual belief in the forgiveness of your Creator you would have even less reason to be successful in self forgiveness. Therefor, I think it is important that we discuss this whole issue in the light of your knowledge of God's forgiveness. Paradoxically, however, there are some with no belief in a higher Power who are actually more realistic about their humanity and less judgmental toward themselves and other people.

Daniel: But...it doesn't work that way. Now, I will pause here and state that without intellectual [[belief]] in the forgiveness of your [[Creator]] you would have even less reason to be successful in self forgiveness. Therefor, I think it is important that we discuss this whole issue in the light of your knowledge of God's forgiveness. [[Paradox]]ically, however, there are some with no belief in a higher Power who are actually more realistic about their [[humanity]] and less [[judgment]]al toward themselves and other people.

I have alluded to this many times....that God's love and God's consequent forgiveness is the same thing that you experience, in a reflective manner, in your relationships with your children when you are acting as a good parent. In other words, true fathers and true mothers are understanding forgiveness in this sense...that they don't even use the word "forgiveness" in their minds, especially with younger children. They have a much larger word than forgiveness. The word is understanding. Good parents understand the limitations of children in maturity: mental, social, moral, and spiritual, as well as lack of experience. You understand that children make mistakes. They make bad choices. How many of you typically felt that you had to "forgive" your children for their mistakes due to lack of maturity and experience? Weren't you more simply inclined to just understand the larger picture and that what matters is that the child does not develop a habit of making bad decisions? Forgiveness is not merely setting aside the debt, the breaking of the rules. Forgiveness is the transformation of a person who has made a bad choice so that they learn where they went astray, and what they can do the next time around, not to make the same mistake.

I have alluded to this many times....that God's love and God's consequent forgiveness is the same thing that you [[experience]], in a [[reflective]] [[manner]], in your [[relationship]]s with your children when you are acting as a good parent. In other words, true fathers and true mothers are understanding forgiveness in this sense...that they don't even use the word "forgiveness" in their [[mind]]s, especially with younger children. They have a much larger word than forgiveness. The word is [[understanding]].  

Self forgiveness, then, is based on self understanding. The better that you and I understand ourselves, the better and easier will be our tolerance and forgiveness for our mistakes and even our sins. It is for this purpose that it is necessary for you all to do the work that will result in self understanding. This means that you try to trace back in your history the origins of those attitudes and those beginning habit patterns that may be connected to current problems.

Good parents understand the limitations of children in [[maturity]]: [[mental]], [[social]], [[moral]], and [[spiritual]], as well as lack of [[experience]]. You understand that children make mistakes. They make bad choices. How many of you typically felt that you had to "forgive" your children for their mistakes due to lack of maturity and experience? Weren't you more simply inclined to just understand the larger picture and that what matters is that the child does not develop a habit of making bad decisions? Forgiveness is not merely setting aside the debt, the breaking of the rules. [[Forgiveness]] is the [[transformation]] of a [[person]] who has made a bad choice so that they learn where they went astray, and what they can do the next time around, not to make the same mistake.

However, in looking into the past many stumble and fall into the error of remorse, guilt, and shame. Even as they are trying to understand themselves, they are self loathing. That is not what is valuable about remembering the past. It is problematic and non-productive, for remorse and guilt serve no further useful purpose once they have promoted change by learning. The drive of those negative emotions on the physical and mental energies of your electro-chemical mechanism have no positive purpose. So, in stepping into the past for the purpose of understanding current behavior, avoid the delusion that somehow reviewing the past will change it. It will not...but it can change the present as you gain larger understanding and acceptance of yourselves.

Self forgiveness, then, is based on self understanding. The better that you and I understand ourselves, the better and easier will be our [[tolerance]] and [[forgiveness]] for our mistakes and even our [[sin]]s. It is for this [[purpose]] that it is necessary for you all to do the work that will result in self understanding. This means that you try to trace back in your [[history]] the [[origins]] of those [[attitudes]] and those beginning habit [[pattern]]s that may be connected to current problems.

All societies have taboos, the rules, that when they are broken produce enormous levels of guilt and shame in a normal minded person. These taboos are not necessarily consistent with the moral structure of the spiritual universe. They are social institutions. That is why conscience, the accumulation of the taboos, cannot be equated with the guidance of your Thought Adjuster. Your conscience is not the voice of God within you; it is the voice of culture within you. Taboos evolve and are maintained in order to keep society in a structured and knowledgeable formation, in order to preserve civilization and to promote intellectual, social, and spiritual growth. Many people feel guilty about things which the spiritual supervisors of the universe do not consider to be problems; and many people do not feel responsible for lacking interest in the things of real value.

However, in looking into the past many stumble and fall into the error of remorse, [[guilt]], and [[shame]]. Even as they are trying to understand themselves, they are self loathing. That is not what is valuable about remembering the past. It is problematic and non-productive, for remorse and guilt serve no further useful [[purpose]] once they have promoted change by learning. The drive of those negative [[emotions]] on the [[physical]] and [[mental]] [[energies]] of your electro-chemical [[mechanism]] have no positive [[purpose]]. So, in stepping into the past for the [[purpose]] of understanding current [[behavior]], avoid the delusion that somehow reviewing the past will change it. It will not...but it can change the present as you gain larger understanding and acceptance of yourselves.

We have discussed your humanity and how important it is to be comfortable in it. Your humanity is not a perfected state of being. It is the first state of being. It is far from perfected. You share with your animal cousins your animal nature which includes all the spirit poisons: anger, guilt, fear, envy, jealousy, resentment, ego enhancement, etc. Many people feel guilty for experiencing feelings that are inborn, genetically programed, and that are not the result of rational choice. They feel responsible for having these feelings, which equates to feeling guilty about being human.

All [[societies]] have [[taboos]], the rules, that when they are broken produce enormous levels of [[guilt]] and shame in a normal minded [[person]]. These taboos are not necessarily consistent with the [[moral]] [[structure]] of the [[spiritual]] [[universe]]. They are social institutions. That is why [[conscience]], the accumulation of the [[taboos]], cannot be equated with the guidance of your [[Thought Adjuster]]. Your conscience is not the [[voice]] of God within you; it is the voice of [[culture]] within you.  

Rather, what you have the choice to do is to decide how you will respond to these feelings that are so negative. How do you respond to frustration? How do you respond to ego threat? How do you respond to various kinds of fears? How do you respond to sexual feelings? How do you respond to feelings of hatred? And so on. Do you make a choice on your actions as a result of consciously choosing how to respond or do you simply allow those feelings to dictate your actions? If there were no choice involved when dealing with your feelings, if there were no alternative ways to experience and express these feelings, then, truly, you would be no more than animals, and you would act without choice. But this is not your situation. You are human beings. You are will creatures of the cosmos. You are sons and daughters of God. You have within you that Perfect Pilot. So, do not feel guilty about your animal nature and the feelings that come from it. It is not appropriate to feel guilt about the way you are made!

Taboos evolve and are maintained in order to keep [[society]] in a [[structur]]ed and [[knowledge]]able formation, in order to preserve [[civilization]] and to promote [[intellectual]], [[social]], and [[spiritual]] growth. Many people feel guilty about things [[which]] the spiritual supervisors of the [[universe]] do not consider to be problems; and many people do not feel responsible for lacking interest in the [[things]] of real [[value]].

In addition to feeling guilty about having an animal nature, many people feel guilty about making mistakes. Making mistakes is both inevitable and normal. The only time that guilt is appropriate is in the choices that you have before you. And guilt should last no longer that it takes you to say, "I have made a mistake. I have done the wrong thing". Now if you knew ahead of time with certainty that it was the wrong thing, then you have committed a sin. But either way it is time to say, "Well, I did the wrong thing. I have screwed up. I desire not to do that again. I want to let go of the past. I don't want to sit here in misery and self depreciation. I want to claim my birthright as a son or daughter and move on. I want to agree with You, God, that I am a good person and I have a right to be here and that the universe is unfolding as it should be".

We have discussed your [[humanity]] and how important it is to be comfortable in it. Your humanity is not a [[perfect]]ed [[state]] of [[being]]. It is the first state of being. It is far from perfected. You share with your [[animal]] cousins your animal [[nature]] which includes all the [[spirit]] poisons: anger, [[guilt]], [[fear]], envy, jealousy, resentment, [[ego]] enhancement, etc. Many people feel guilty for experiencing [[feelings]] that are inborn, genetically programed, and that are not the result of [[rational]] choice. They feel responsible for having these feelings, which equates to feeling [[guilty]] about being [[human]].

From the inner state of forgiveness comes your ability to be understanding toward others. If you are self condemning then you will see yourself mirrored in those around you. Their behaviors, which unconsciously remind you of your own, will arouse in you the greatest indignation and you will become very judgmental. Always remember that the finger points both ways. What you find offensive in another is likely to be what you have not understood and forgiven in yourselves. This is why that it is in the act of forgiving another that you experience self forgiveness. The mirroring process works both ways.

 

 

From the inner state of [[forgiveness]] comes your ability to be understanding toward others. If you are self condemning then you will see yourself [[mirror]]ed in those around you. Their [[behavior]]s, which unconsciously remind you of your own, will arouse in you the greatest indignation and you will become very [[judgment]]al. Always remember that the finger points both ways. <u>What you find offensive in another is likely to be what you have not understood and forgiven in yourselves</u>. This is why that it is in the act of forgiving another that you [[experience]] self forgiveness. The mirroring process works both ways.

The only people that Jesus couldn't forgive were those who would not accept his forgiveness. When I say, "couldn't forgive" I mean his forgiveness was not effective. He forgave even those who nailed him to the cross. Listen to the words he said. "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do". They didn't understand who he was and what they were doing. In a sense they made a mistake rather than a sin. If they had known he was the Son of God and still crucified him, that would have been a sin. But they didn't know what they were doing.

The only people that Jesus couldn't forgive were those who would not accept his forgiveness. When I say, "couldn't forgive" I mean his forgiveness was not effective. He forgave even those who nailed him to the cross. Listen to the words he said. "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do". They didn't understand who he was and what they were doing. In a sense they made a mistake rather than a sin. If they had known he was the Son of God and still crucified him, that would have been a sin. But they didn't know what they were doing.

The degree to which you forgive yourself is the degree to which you can forgive another. The degree to which you forgive yourself is the measure of your self understanding and self acceptance. The degree to which you forgive and understand another is the degree to which you love and understand yourself. These are my thoughts. Not new ideas, but pertinent.

The [[degree]] to which you forgive yourself is the degree to which you can forgive another. The degree to which you forgive yourself is the measure of your self understanding and self acceptance. The degree to which you forgive and understand another is the degree to which you love and understand yourself. These are my [[thoughts]]. Not new [[ideas]], but pertinent.

I say to you: work on understanding yourself and realize that you are an animal origin being because that is the way God wants it! I am an animal origin being because that is the way God wants it! We are going to experience it all, from the lowest level of animal origin to the highest level. As we understand and gain acceptance of ourselves, as we make that effort to move spiritually up the ladder, rung by rung, our horizon expands. We see farther and farther. You are all greatly loved. We are all greatly loved. Please take each other's hands. (We are not finished)

I say to you: work on understanding yourself and [[realize]] that you are an (of) [[animal]] [[origin]] being because that is the way God wants it! I am an animal origin being because that is the way God wants it! We are going to [[experience]] it all, from the lowest level of animal origin to the highest level. As we understand and gain acceptance of ourselves, as we make that effort to move spiritually up the ladder, rung by rung, our [[horizon]] expands. We see farther and farther. You are all greatly loved. We are all greatly loved. Please take each other's hands. (We are not finished)

In your minds, think of the person on your left and say either, "This is my sister, or this is my brother who is just like me and who I love". Say that to yourselves. (Silence) Now, to the person on your right, the same. (Silence). Thank you. You may be seated.

In your [[minds]], think of the person on your left and say either, "This is my sister, or this is my brother who is just like me and who I [[love]]". Say that to yourselves. (Silence) Now, to the person on your right, the same. ([[Silence]]). Thank you. You may be seated.

The floor is yours for comments or further discussion.

The floor is yours for comments or further discussion.

===Dialogue===

===Dialogue===

Virginia: Well, Daniel, I'm sure you have been at the house and sort of know what I have been doing, writing all my memories that come to mind of my childhood. As I read through it and add things, I certainly love getting to understand where a lot of feelings of guilt have come from.

Virginia: Well, Daniel, I'm sure you have been at the house and sort of know what I have been doing, writing all my memories that come to mind of my childhood. As I read through it and add things, I certainly love getting to understand where a lot of feelings of guilt have come from.