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*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1979 1979]

*[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1979 1979]

==Defiinitions==

==Defiinitions==

*1:  a [[psychological]] condition or a [[relationship]] in which a person is [[controlled]] or [[manipulated]] by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as an [[addiction]] to alcohol or heroin); broadly :  dependence on the needs of or control by another  

*1:  a [[psychological]] condition or a [[relationship]] in which a person is [[controlled]] or [[manipulated]] by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as an [[addiction]] to alcohol or heroin); broadly :  dependence on the needs of or control by another  

People who are codependent often take on the role of [[martyr]]; they constantly put others' needs before their own and in doing so forget to take [[care]] of themselves. This creates a sense that they are "needed"; they cannot stand the [[thought]] of being [[alone]] with no one needing them. Codependent people are constantly in search of [[acceptance]]. When it comes to [[arguments]], codependent people also tend to set themselves up as the "[[victim]]". When they do stand up for themselves, they feel [[guilty]].

People who are codependent often take on the role of [[martyr]]; they constantly put others' needs before their own and in doing so forget to take [[care]] of themselves. This creates a sense that they are "needed"; they cannot stand the [[thought]] of being [[alone]] with no one needing them. Codependent people are constantly in search of [[acceptance]]. When it comes to [[arguments]], codependent people also tend to set themselves up as the "[[victim]]". When they do stand up for themselves, they feel [[guilty]].

''Codependency'' does not refer to all caring [[behavior]] or [[feelings]], but only those that are excessive to an unhealthy degree.  Indeed, from the standpoint of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory Attachment theory] or [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_relations_theory Object relations theory], "to risk becoming dependent" may be for the compulsively self-reliant a psychological advance, and "depending on a source outside oneself ... successful, or tolerable, dependence" may be valorized accordingly.

''Codependency'' does not refer to all caring [[behavior]] or [[feelings]], but only those that are excessive to an unhealthy degree.  Indeed, from the standpoint of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory Attachment theory] or [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_relations_theory Object relations theory], "to risk becoming dependent" may be for the compulsively self-reliant a psychological advance, and "depending on a source outside oneself ... successful, or tolerable, dependence" may be valorized accordingly.

Narcissists, with their ability to "get others to buy into their [[vision]] and help them make it a [[reality]]," are natural [[magnets]] for the "'co-dependent' ... [with] the tendency to put others' need before their own". Sam Vaknin considered that codependents, as "the Watsons of this world, 'provide the narcissist with an obsequious, unthreatening [[audience]] ... the perfect backdrop.'" Among the reciprocally locking [[interactions]] of the pair, are the way "the narcissist has an overpowering need to feel important and special, and the co-dependent has a strong need to help others feel that way. ... The narcissist overdoes self-caring and demands it from others, while the co-dependent underdoes or may even do almost no self-caring."

Narcissists, with their ability to "get others to buy into their [[vision]] and help them make it a [[reality]]," are natural [[magnets]] for the "'co-dependent' ... [with] the tendency to put others' need before their own". Sam Vaknin considered that codependents, as "the Watsons of this world, 'provide the narcissist with an obsequious, unthreatening [[audience]] ... the perfect backdrop.'" Among the reciprocally locking [[interactions]] of the pair, are the way "the narcissist has an overpowering need to feel important and special, and the co-dependent has a strong need to help others feel that way. ... The narcissist overdoes self-caring and demands it from others, while the co-dependent underdoes or may even do almost no self-caring."

In [[psychoanalytic]] terms, the [[narcissist]] "who manifests such '[[omnipotent]]' [[behaviour]] and who seems to be especially '[[independent]]' exerts an especially [[fascinating]] effect on all ... dependent persons ... [who] struggle to [[participate]] in the 'omnipotent' narcissist's power": narcissist and codependent "participate together in a form of an [[ego]]-defense system called [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Projective_identification projective identification]."

In [[psychoanalytic]] terms, the [[narcissist]] "who manifests such '[[omnipotent]]' [[behaviour]] and who seems to be especially '[[independent]]' exerts an especially [[fascinating]] effect on all ... dependent persons ... [who] struggle to [[participate]] in the 'omnipotent' narcissist's power": narcissist and codependent "participate together in a form of an [[ego]]-defense system called [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Projective_identification projective identification]."

Inverted or "covert" narcissists are people who are "[[intensely]] [[attuned]] to others' needs, but only in so far as it relates to [their] own need to [[perform]] the requisite [[sacrifice]]"—an "inverted narcissist, who ensures that with compulsive care-giving, supplies of [[gratitude]], [[love]] and [[attention]] will always be readily available ... [pseudo-]saintly." Vaknin considered that "the inverted narcissist is a person who grew up enthralled by the narcissistic [[parent]] ... the child becomes a masterful provider of [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_Supply Narcissistic Supply], a perfect match to the parent's [[personality]]."

Inverted or "covert" narcissists are people who are "[[intensely]] [[attuned]] to others' needs, but only in so far as it relates to [their] own need to [[perform]] the requisite [[sacrifice]]"—an "inverted narcissist, who ensures that with compulsive care-giving, supplies of [[gratitude]], [[love]] and [[attention]] will always be readily available ... [pseudo-]saintly." Vaknin considered that "the inverted narcissist is a person who grew up enthralled by the narcissistic [[parent]] ... the child becomes a masterful provider of [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_Supply Narcissistic Supply], a perfect match to the parent's [[personality]]."

In everyday life, the inverted narcissist "demands [[anonymity]] ... uncomfortable with any [[attention]] being paid to him ... [with] praise that cannot be deflected." Recovery means the ability to recognize the self-destructive elements in one's character structure, and to "develop strategies to minimize the harm to yourself."

In everyday life, the inverted narcissist "demands [[anonymity]] ... uncomfortable with any [[attention]] being paid to him ... [with] praise that cannot be deflected." Recovery means the ability to recognize the self-destructive elements in one's character structure, and to "develop strategies to minimize the harm to yourself."