Changes

Machiventa did not pursue me, relentlessly pounding [[information]] into my head, so that I may see the [[light]], no. He gave me small bits of understandable information and stepped back, allowing me room to [[decide]] for myself. I could see the benefits of his way, but found it quite [[difficult]] to let go of my own. I did find through [[experimentation]] of his [[methods]] that he was indeed correct, and I did implement his ways into my everyday living. I certainly believed I was well on my way within [[the Kingdom]] and had gotten quite comfortable with myself. I took on the [[belief]] that I was above spiritual [[regression]], but soon found out different after [[93:8 Departure of Melchizedek|Machiventa departed from Urantia]].

Machiventa did not pursue me, relentlessly pounding [[information]] into my head, so that I may see the [[light]], no. He gave me small bits of understandable information and stepped back, allowing me room to [[decide]] for myself. I could see the benefits of his way, but found it quite [[difficult]] to let go of my own. I did find through [[experimentation]] of his [[methods]] that he was indeed correct, and I did implement his ways into my everyday living. I certainly believed I was well on my way within [[the Kingdom]] and had gotten quite comfortable with myself. I took on the [[belief]] that I was above spiritual [[regression]], but soon found out different after [[93:8 Departure of Melchizedek|Machiventa departed from Urantia]].

I became quite fearful that someone would take my beloved [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah Sarah] from me. I was [[paranoid]] and on the brink of mental [[breakdown]] several times. I realized I had lost that questioning [[mind]]. I believed I had the answers I needed to get by, to [[survive]]. The [[arrogant]] mind is a dangerous [[weapon]], for it cannot distinguish [[dark]] from [[light]]. [[Time]] and [[experience]], coupled with living [[revelation]], brought me back to a humble place where I began to open up to spirit [[direction]]. My mind was brought into balance, back into [[reality]], yes.

I became quite fearful that someone would take my beloved [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah Sarah] from me. I was [[paranoid]] and on the brink of mental [[breakdown]] several times. I realized I had lost that questioning [[mind]]. I believed I had the answers I needed to get by, to [[survive]]. The [[arrogant]] mind is a dangerous [[weapon]], for it cannot distinguish [[dark]] from [[light]]. [[Time]] and [[experience]], coupled with living [[revelation]], brought me back to a humble place where I began to open up to spirit [[direction]]. My mind was brought into balance, back into [[reality]], yes.

I do not feel [[remorse]] for this [[experience]] because I understand it is part of the [[Agondonters]] [[journey]]. It is to be used as [[education]]--not as a source of [[embarrassment]] to keep me humbled. It just is not that serious, children. It is only a lesson, only a [[step]] up towards [[the Father]]. Do not be [[surprised]] when the [[spiritual poisons]] befall you. Use these [[events]] as a time to return to the questioning mind and [[the circuits]] of ministry for higher [[understanding]].

I do not feel [[remorse]] for this [[experience]] because I understand it is part of the [[Agondonters]] [[journey]]. It is to be used as [[education]]--not as a source of [[embarrassment]] to keep me humbled. It just is not that serious, children. It is only a lesson, only a [[step]] up towards [[the Father]]. Do not be [[surprised]] when the [[spiritual poisons]] befall you. Use these [[events]] as a time to return to the questioning mind and [[the circuits]] of ministry for higher [[understanding]].