1995-07-28-Worry

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Topic: Worry

Group: Pocatello TeaM

Facilitators

Teacher: Daniel, Tomas

TR: Isaac, Gerdean

Session

Opening

Opening prayer

Daniel(TR #5): "Greetings, I am Daniel. Hello and welcome to all who are here tonight at this regular Friday session. I am pleased to have this opportunity to speak through this personality whom I have gotten to know well yet have not had close personal contact with recently. The message I would bring forward tonight has to do with the future which we all look forward to.

Lesson

Support

Human beings tend to worry about the future as you know. I caution you all to avoid worry about the future for as you know in your saner moments, there is little you can do about it anyway. And you know that all the help you need lies within each of you. So at those times when you feel yourself slipping back into that morass of humanness called worry, pause for a moment, seek guidance from your Indwelling Adjuster, take a moment to pray and if time allows for quietness add that and you will find your worry goes away, the frustration is managed and the stress is gone.

I recall well my mortal existence although it was many years ago. I am often reminded of my own difficulties in my assignment here as your teacher, guide and friend, for I see myself in many of you as the problems humankind deals with are well nigh universal; and I see myself in many of you in the occurrences that you are dealing with in your individual lives.

Allow me and the others who are here to assist you for we bring a wealth of experience which is just a prayer away. We are able to assist at beck and call but we may not interfere; you must request us. So 'don't forget to write'.

That concludes my introductory remarks at this point although I am sure I will return later. Tomas now has a few words which he would like to provide to those here gathered."

Anxiety, Future

Tomas(TR #3): My dear students and friends this is your teacher, Tomas. As always it is my privilege to be co-teacher with my friend and colleague Daniel in this wonderful classroom of applied spiritual experience.

I, too, am reminded often of my mortal life when I am with you in your intimate personal settings at home, on the job, on vacation and in these meetings. As a teacher sent back from the morontial experience that awaits you all I am, by virtue of my years, as well as Daniel and others, more conversant with this experience of anticipating the future, experiencing the present and then remembering the past.

It is, of course, a limitation of your mortal career that so much has been shrouded in mystery and confusion on this formerly saddened and darkened planet leading to the propensity to worry. But that is all changing now as you have heard in my commentary last week and from other teachers. This planet is truly in transformation. I realize that if you were to look at the news media in their judgement you would find my words to be bordering on the incredulous. But we have a rather superior vantage point compared to that of your information gatherers. (By 'we' I refer to those of us from the broader perspective on this side of the curtain.) The future holds for this planet all that you have been told. Your fondest dreams, your highest aspirations, your deepest longings; this is the future of this planet. And you, my friends, my students are that vanguard.

I realize that you have heard this before but I am pleased to use Isaac as a medium to make these statements again because of his past propensity to doubt and fear the future (which is waning). So it gives me pleasure to contradict what has been a past mindset for him.

Instead of worry I recommend trust that lets go and relaxes into the safekeeping arms of your Indwelling Spirit, that beloved Entity that is the real 'you' to be, Who knows you better than you know yourself. Your future, my friends, is absolutely secure for you have all made that supreme decision to continue to stride with vigor and enthusiasm on the path to Paradise.

Now we teachers are not permitted to predict nor are we fully cognizant of the future. We do not have a crystal ball to gaze into although our equations and prediction machinery have some added sophistication as compared to your statistical models.

But the desire to know the future is a misguided one for it implies that you are not in the safe keeping of your true destiny, that somehow from without will come some thing, some event that will overwhelm you; and you need to be ready and prepare. No, what we have said about the future of this planet applies to each of you. You have been told repeatedly that you are already living individually in Light and Life. I would simply conclude my part of this lesson with the result of my experience which is that letting go and trusting the First Source and Center to guide and direct takes away all fear and all worry. Familiar words, yes, but they are true. Daniel?"

Daniel: "That concludes our opening comments. We are open for questions."

Dialogue

PamElla: "Good evening Tomas and Daniel. Tomas I have no question. I just wanted to make a remark and thank you for that absolutely beautiful pulling together of truths that I have been discovering over probably the past four years, including the year prior to entering the Teaching Mission. This began with my realizing that my use of astrology was exactly what you are talking about. It was looking outside of myself to try and be prepared. I realized in the year of meditating that I was doing prior to coming upon the Teaching Mission that I needed to be turning inside. It was very difficult for me, even despite that, to give up my astrology books as a tool to understanding myself. But with the idea of ascension the theoretical basis of numerology and astrology was destroyed. So what came next was trying to put together the idea of surrendering, `letting go and letting God', learning what that meant and putting it into practice. I thank you, Daniel, and you, Tomas very much for the real transformation which has occurred in my life and for the trust that I do have in the First Source and Center most of the time; that God is, in fact, in charge, and the fruits I see in my life when I let go and let God be in charge instead of letting my fears be in charge. I guess that is all. I have a real heartfelt gratitude.

It is amazing to me to realize how dramatically some of my belief structures have changed in such a really short time! Three years is not very long. And how traumatic it was at the time, but how simple in retrospect. Thank you."

Tomas: "My dear your eloquence is appreciated. Your journey has been noted by Daniel and I, mostly, of course by Daniel. But I have conferred with him in regards to each of you when I first came to be part of this group. You are living testimony of the dramatic and fairly rapid change that is possible when someone puts their shoulder to the plow, as you say, when they make the effort, when they struggle to break out of the confines of their previous thinking. I, Tomas, with Daniel's agreement commend you!"

Dissemination

Gerdean: "Hello teachers. It's wonderful to be able to greet you in this fashion. I normally am sitting in a different chair. This is Gerdean and I am going to be going in a few minutes to my meeting and address my group and tell them how it was, what happened, and what it is like now. And your lesson spoke to all of those things in the jargon that I am familiar with through the Teaching Mission. I just need to be able to transfer that same intensity and integrity into words that my peers in recovery can understand. Of course Tomas and I have had long chats of the parallel between recovery of the individual and recovery of the planet.

Do I dare speak in terms of my personal teachers and the Teaching Mission to this motley bunch? Or should I just continue to talk about 'let go and let God'? And by the way I really appreciated your lesson this evening on worry. I was a major worrier and I still get into worry and feel I need to take it back and fix it because somebody has to! So I am still learning the proper use of the will. If you would give me a pointer on how to speak to my group this evening I will be on my way. I love you both very much and I appreciate my association with you and with this wonderful group of people. Thanks."

Daniel: "Gerdean, my dear, how I do enjoy working with you! But you know well what I am about to say. You know better than I the people to whom you will be speaking tonight. I dare not advise you for in your heart you know well how best to approach those people. So with our love and affection go forward. We will be with you. There will be an army of us there assisting you! But it will be mostly moral support for you know in your heart what it takes to talk to your brethren. So lead on. We will be there supporting you."

Tomas: "And my precious daughter I rejoice with you this evening in your accomplishment! Your are, indeed, a beacon of light to your fellow AA'ers; and as Daniel has said, we cannot advise you as to that specific request. But there is One who dwells in you Who can. My recommendation is that just before you start to speak you ask for guidance and let it flow. Is this helpful?"

Gerdean: "Certainly. Talking with you guys is always helpful. Thank you."

Tomas: "Enjoy your evening."

Beverly: "Daniel and Tomas, this is Beverly. I wanted to especially thank Daniel for the private session I had and the guidance on tuning into my own teacher, becoming this seed for a new group in Page, Arizona. I just wanted to thank you for all your help and I'll stop in and visit when I am back in the area."

Daniel: "We regret your leaving yet we look forward to the opportunity it provides. Know that you will not be alone for I will be checking with you and I am sure my colleague Tomas will be on occasion and there will be a myriad of others with you. You will not be alone. At those moments when you feel you are alone we encourage you to pause for a moment, open yourself to the sensitivity that will be provided and you will feel our presence, some one of us who will be with you. Know that you will not be alone.

It has been our pleasure to have been able to meet with you and work with you for these past few weeks. We look forward with optimism to the opportunity that your leaving presents. We encourage you to be open to the guidance you will be given. Find time daily, if you can, for prayer and quietness for that is the baseline for the life which we are encouraging all to follow. We ask you now to go forward with optimism for the opportunities that lie just over the horizon are numerous and we see you as a pioneer going out across the wilderness to open a new land. Go with Godspeed!"

Beverly: "Thank you very much. I feel more like I am going home than pioneering. And I am not taking a television so I am planning on time for quiet every day. Thank you."

Tomas: "And Beverly I would add my blessing to your returning home in that you are returning home a different person than you were when you were there before, for you have grown and learned and your spiritual grasp is greater. The universe operates on the principle of the student becoming the teacher and then becoming the student in a back and forth relationship. And now as you will officially be the 'teacher' continue to be that student. Your classroom, I suspect, will overflow beyond the limits of your official class to include others who wait to hear words of truth and see the light of love shine forth from you.

And for all of you, this is how it works. You don't need to cajole, to stand on a soapbox, to knock on your neighbor's door and hand out pamphlets. You need to be ready to hear that Inner Voice direct you and those who seek truth will cross your path. Those who need your love will come into your presence. I know that you have been discovering this and this is the wonderful way that the universe operates."

Barbara: "Thank you."

Ascension Career, Family

Rutha: "I have a question I would like to address to you this evening regarding relationships.

It seems very difficult in this lifetime, at least for me to be knowledgeable about how things should go and about how to go between people. And then all of a sudden when there is the togetherness and confrontation. It doesn't turn out that way. It's seems like there can be a lot of hurt and anger. And in your heart you know that isn't how you want it to be but that's what happens. So my question is, 'what is the reality of that? What is really real? Are we gaining some benefit by having those confrontations? Are these the kinds of things we are going to have to work on for the next million years!!?"

Tomas: "You would be on Paradise right now, would you not, if you had your way? I will answer your last question first.

Yes, these are the things that we work on in our ascension career. As you will see in your text the process of communicating, understanding, accepting and asserting your own needs and wants, all these things which begin in planetary life are expanded as you move to the system headquarters with its educational worlds where you encounter ascending mortals from all over the system from different kinds of planets, mortals who are now morontial creatures. Then it moves to the next level, the constellation. You become familiar with other orders of beings, the native beings that you dwell with. As you move from there to the universe headquarters there are others you become acquainted with who are even more diverse. All the way through the central universe you experience this, constantly meeting new situations, new types of beings and individuals. The effort to communicate, to love, to accept, etc. continues to go on.

But it is somewhat different than the experience of the mortal career, of course. This is the only time in which you live in a sex relationship family, your own or adopted children, and the sense of responsibility here can be intense. I feel the need to say this because I don't want my words to be misunderstood. The same kind of intense motherly, fatherly care for another individual is not present beyond the mortal life.

As to your first question, which you asked me last week in effect, I hear a note of weariness, I believe, a fear that perhaps you are going through motions of repetitive processes that seem not to progress. I am asking you if I hear you correctly before I proceed further."

Debbie: "Yes, you are."

Tomas: "Alright, then part of the problem has to do with the nature of the intense feelings which are characteristic of families and of parents for their children. This intensity sometimes crosses the line of responsibility and also is sometimes misperceived by the children as a desire to command and control without regard for their free will. It is a delicate area. It is fraught with confrontations at times and can be at times discouraging.

Remember that your job as a parent is to rid yourself of a job. It is to help your child to assume full responsibility for their own lives to the point where they need not be under your surveillance, your supervision, your overcare. But this is a back and forth process, for even as you know from your own experience, children can appear to be more mature than they are at one moment only to fall back to previous childlike behavior. This occurs often when stress is present in a child's life.

Remember that Jesus struggled with this issue with his own brother Jude. The rest of the family were in favor of casting him out but Jesus said that they could not do that; they had to be patient. So He understands this kind of frustration. Again do not expect Daniel or myself to be able to advise you on a moment to moment basis as to the thing to do in these kinds of frustrating experiences but you do have guidance from within that I know you rely on. One moment.

Conflict

Try to distinguish between the urge to 'fix' another person and the responsibility to teach that other person. Especially this can be true of children. The need to fix another person is really the flip side of the coin of control because you really can't fix another person. You only can decide for yourself.

I know it may seem to you that I have gone around the bush in my answer and if this is the case I apologize. However, be assured that your life is very real and what you do in all the things you do in all the relationships you have are the most important things in the universe. These are the things that have survival value. Has this been of any help to you?"

Rutha: "Yes, thank you Tomas. You know fully well that I am very understanding of the behavioral psychology of all this. But the real thrust of my question has to do with, 'what is the value of having these confrontations? Does it serve some value? Are we learning from them?"

Tomas: "If the confrontations seem to be the same old thing, as you say, and there is no progress then it is time to re-examine the situation and to see or attempt to see from a different perspective. I am not saying that all conflict is a positive growth producing experience because that is not true, that is error. Some conflict, and especially inner conflict is not growth producing. But if from the conflict there comes a new understanding to parties involved this may be the result of doing something different to alter the interactions. If you see this conflict as repetitive and not progressing my advice is to look at it from a different perspective. This may require outside assistance at times."

Rutha: "So you are saying there is then some value, even survival value in these confrontations even though we may not feel that way at the time because we are emotionally involved in it. But at some point because of something that was said there might be a changing point for somebody else. So it can't always be so bad as one might think it is?"

Tomas: "And in the process of trying to be the one who alleviates a conflict or manages it one of the values obtained is a personal progress on the pathway of tolerance and understanding. The more tolerance and understanding a person has, the more spiritual maturity they have. So there is that always as a possibility that can arise from conflict. But as I said a moment ago try to analyze or understand the situation from a new perspective when you have come into a dead end."

Rutha: "Thank you Tomas. I don't want to hog all of this but I do have one thing I need to make clear here and that is..most of us are very loving people. We don't want to hurt anybody. I wouldn't want to hurt a fly. None of us would want to hurt anybody. And it is in these confrontations, when we realize that we have hurt somebody, that we have approached it wrong, something has not gone the way it should have gone. I mean, you know, how are we being judged when we really didn't want to hurt anybody?"

Tomas: "Often in relationships which you are alluding to there is unintended hurt. Because, as you say, the hurt was not intended, experiencing the other person's anger and whatever causes hurt in return. It is at such times that one needs to use words of straight forward statement to the effect that, 'it was not my intention to hurt you by saying or doing this'. And if the other person does not believe what you say when you stated it, you are powerless to convince them otherwise at that point.

One of the problems with confrontation is it generally occurs when there is the physiological arousal of the body by adrenalin which causes you by virtue of your animal nature to go into a fight or flight pattern. You know this. And many things can be said which are analogous to throwing spears at each other with words than true conversation. There is much wisdom in not discussing issues when people are confronting each other in anger. If we are talking about a child/parent interaction you as the parent are the one who has the seniority of experience and therefor are responsible to refuse to discuss or perpetuate this conflict when the two of you may be in this physiologically aroused state. At a later time when emotions are calm and the time is right the issue can perhaps be brought up in a way that is more effective. The bottom line is, and this is a hard one to understand, we as moral beings, mortal, morontial, or spiritual beings cannot force another person to do something against their will; and we should not try. There is that dividing line, that boundary. Has this been helpful?"

Rutha: "Thank you Tomas. I know this has been a real struggle and I am sure especially for the TR not being used to Tomas' ways and everything. I appreciate that.

I guess my one concluding remark would be that as imperfect beings, then, this is part of our growth pattern, that we will experience these types of situations and depending on our outlook, our motive, and what is really going on inside, that's how we will be judged and not just by what it looks like, appearances from the outside. As we continue to interact with people, and I guess especially in a child/parent relationship, there is bound to be some growth over time. I appreciate all your remarks. Thank you."

Tomas: "You are most welcome."

Leetah: "Tomas, following up on this discussion, I am reminded of relationships and not necessarily parent/child but between individuals, teacher/student or between spouses. Many times the anger is not welcome and the one or the other is very aware that certain words or certain actions can produce guilt in the other person. I'm wondering here if this isn't an issue that we simply have to be led by our Indwelling Spirit and not feel guilty for that which we know is right for that individual, not controlling them but giving them consequences and not letting them push our buttons. As a teacher I have often said, 'You are trying to make me feel guilty, and I am not going to feel guilty. This is what you must do.' And I just think of those of us who just hate conflict and hate encounters (and all those things that degrade me personally) can really make me feel guilty. I have to get out of it emotionally and look at it intellectually and let my Spirit guide my mouth because I do feel guilty when I shouldn't."

Tomas: "Yes, your words are very wise, Virginia. And I would add that it isn't just children that try to make other people feel guilty, it's an adult trait as well. When you look at it you can see that it is an attempt at control, to get the other person to do what you want them to. You didn't seem to be asking a question but making a statement so I will say thank you for your statement."

Leetah: "If I preceded that with a question I guess I was asking for confirmation for my own feelings."

Tomas: "I believe that I have confirmed you."

Leetah: "Thanks."

Tomas: "Daniel do you have any words that you want to speak here?"

Daniel: "Of course. Recall the words of the text saying God does not judge. Guilt is a human phenomenon which must be dealt with intellectually as Leetah has pointed out. That is why I feel we as mortals have a brain to help us when emotions get the best of us. This is one time when clearly one can see the opportunities there. I had something else I was going to say and I have forgotten it now. It may come back."

Rutha: "Daniel, I have a problem with that! Sure, we have a brain. But why were we given feelings also? I mean, you know, if it were the flip side of it, you said about love you can feel the thing of love, you don't always have to intellectualize love. Why is it when you are feeling this horrible feeling about yourself because of the confrontation that you have to intellectualize it then??

Daniel: "That, my dear, is one of the paradoxes of life, isn't it? There are paradoxes in both those areas. Emotions can be the best of times and the worst of times. Your logic can be marvelous and lead you to faulty conclusions. So one must do the best one can recognizing that particularly at this stage you are not expected to be perfect. But try to let the love shine through. That is the one constant of the universe. And if we can show love, even at the most difficult moments, it will carry the day."

Balance

Rutha: "Well, thank you, but now that leaves us with another question. How do we know when to be logical and when to be emotional, when to be human, when to be spiritual? It's just a big dichotomy and it's hard to know what is real, I guess."

Tomas: "May I take a shot at this, Daniel."

Daniel: "Of course, my brother."

Closing

Tomas: "Urantian culture is, of course, not of a single weave. There are many parts to it. In some cultures it is considered virtuous to rage and rant and express things very emotionally. In other cultures expressions of feeling, even of tender feeling is discouraged. Some of you come from upbringings that tend in the direction of assigning a very negative value to conflict and anger, and seeing any expression of the same as immaturity.

Now I realize that the Urantia Book expresses universe reality and takes the side of those who caution against anger. But you must be realistic because anger comes from your physical/biological nature as flesh and blood mortals, as animals of the realm. It is its control that is virtuous. It cannot be eliminated. It is automatic. It is built into your nervous systems. It is not really a choice between being spiritual and being animalistic that you have as mortals. You are both; and it is a matter of balance and control.