1995-07-30-Emotional Healing

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Topic: Emotional Healing

Group: Nashville TeaM

Facilitators

Teacher: Ham

TR: Rebecca

Session

Opening

Greetings. I am HAM and I greet you all today, and also love you each as we are progressing through lessons and experiences of import. We have gradually attuned ourselves together with you and your frequencies and are appreciative of your selves, your beings, your experiences, your triumphs, and your difficulties. You are or have become likened to a precious child, though not of our bodies, rather of our spirit. And we have concerns for you during your trials, tribulations, tests, and struggles. We watch you as you struggle to understand yourselves, as you learn and change and grow, haltingly, but unceasingly in spirit. Remember that when you are facing hard emotional times that we are sharing of your grief, your confusion and your pain in true sympathy.

Lesson

Healing

There are some wounds which take years for healing. And you may think this wound is closed and its healing complete, when in reality, it is only resting and is awaiting another opportunity for your psyche to connect with it and discover anew the old pain, the old grief. There is never any magic formula that bypasses the important function of time. Only experience past suffering and pain with another level of understanding.

Each level of understanding that you reach in your lifetimes requires another healing level for old wounds, for it is the hurt places of the psyche which cause imbalance and require the most growth. As a wound on the flesh requires new growth or repair, so do the psychic wounds inevitably seek attention of the mind. This is not a spiritual setback when you discover that you're not really over something that you thought you were. This is simply self-revelation and you can see where healing is required and you are wiser for this knowledge.

You who would rather deny the truth of your status, your feelings, are doomed to remain caught in a web of increasing fantasy as you artificially cover over the wounds which need healing. This is not progress. This is not true growth, although you may justify it as self-defense. All the layers which you build will someday be stripped away and the old wounds will be as fresh as when they were received. Those of you here, I think, have psychic scars which could take you well into your elderly years to heal, and this is because you cannot do it without time. Time is your friend. It is your helper. Time is always preparing you for the future. Your entire lives are only a preparation for the next life. Jesus likened this process to the building of a house. He said, you must be sure that the beams are straight and true. You must cast out that wood which is worm eaten and decayed to make sure your house is built on a firm and goodly foundation. The process of living is laying the foundation for your future.

Every person starts out with some worm eaten beams, some faulty workmanship.

The image you have of yourselves today began in childhood. And it is indeed the psychic scars of childhood which are deepest and most enduring, because they were laid at the early stages of your life. Sometimes ridding oneself of the faulty lumber requires dismantling your entire life structure and if this is required, then it is good. Some of you have experienced certain cataclysms during your lives, which have shaken and altered everything you thought you were, and you say, "my God, my God, my house was a good one. It was almost complete. I had it just the way I wanted," and the Father says, son, your house would not stand. It is best you know this now. It is time you and I together built a new house. It is time that we together laid a goodly foundation made of beams straight and true, and all that is built upon it, will be so also. This is my promise." And many of you believed that promise and you began to build your lives anew and you are learning now who you really are as you are built again on the ashes and remains of the old.

No man is complete by himself. No man can build a Godly structure with only human tools. Yes, and I say to you, that you can never know who you are alone in isolation apart from God, for only He can reveal this to you. Only He can reveal yourself to yourself so that you will know, yes, this is who I am. This is true. This is right. This is solid and I am enduring even to the end of time. So I say to you who are afraid, who are worried, who are despairing, put your hand in His hand, do it in faith and in trust, and He will lead you forward. If the way should seem impossible, have faith and know that He will deliver you. Don't be discouraged, neither be dismayed at the mocking attitude or disbelief of others around you. Your trust is in one person, even that person who is the Source of all persons.

A day will come when you will look around you and recognize His bounteous gifts. And you will see His glory being manifest in every act of man and of nature. There is no amount of human ignorance or cruelty that can take away one whit of His glory. Soon your faith becomes transformed into certitude, for faith requires trust in what you cannot see, while certitude is living trust in what you can see. And I say to you, that you will increasingly see the glory of God that is the proof of His being, and your closeness to Him will transcend even faith, for your will know God and experience Him during every moment of every day. His power will not wane inside you. You will see Him in everyone and everything. In the evening you will rest in His arms and in the morning you will awaken to His light, and He will show you again the glories of the daybreak. Each day will be one of fresh discovery of seeing God in the tiniest things, of feeling His hand in your hand, His heart in your heart, His eyes as your eyes. And the world will be transformed as you have been transformed, and the darkness shall pass away, the old wounds will heal, and the time will come that you must go with Him to be about His business. Questions.

Dialogue

Q: How important is it for us to analyze these wounds, to work on them deliberately in order to promote healing?

HAM: Unfortunately there is no one answer. Each human, and indeed, each circumstance is different, and I would say only mat mere must be a balance. One should not become self-obsessed, neither should one avoid the pain of searching through memories. I have said before, that it is good to take the Master with you through the painful memories and this will prevent indulgence in self-pity and will promote a mature understanding of the circumstances surrounding the memory.

Q: Are sometimes these wounds based on repetitive experiences rather than a single trauma? (Yes.) Is the approach to dealing with this any different?

HAM: It is the same. There are still memories of these circumstances. Usually the scars are the result of parental attitudes, and therefore, the attitudes of the parents are in need of understanding by the child. Only the Master can reveal the underlying problems. Often times you will find a recurring memory and this memory holds a secret which needs to be revealed. By bringing the Master with you to this memory you can stand outside yourself and see more clearly the dynamics of the entire situation.

Q: Always the culprit will be fear? (Usually, yes.)

Q: This week I prayed that I could be made aware of situations and relationships from my past that needed healing so that I could deal with it, with the Master, and all week they came up. Peoples faces that I thought were gone long ago and didn't matter any more. I guess the Adjuster was able to do that for me. Do you have a comment?

HAM: Yes, forgiveness is born of understanding and the Master will give you the understanding you need to reach the forgiveness you are needing. Often times humans hold on to feelings of being wronged in order to punish the person who is long gone. Yet you feel the need to punish their memory and this is unfortunately counterproductive and energy consuming.

Q: Is it the ego that feels injured and the ego that cannot or refuses to forgive? (Yes, I would say so.)

Q: When you identify one of the hurts or psychic injuries what should your approach be to healing it? Perhaps my question indicates that I did not understand what you were saying earlier?

HAM: First and most important, there must be understanding and forgiveness for the person who wronged you. Second, there must be understanding and forgiveness for yourself. Thirdly, there must be understanding and forgiveness for God, that He allowed this to take place. And when you have reached this level to understand the Father you will be healed.

Q: What about seeing a therapist or talking it over with another person who is caring and understanding?

HAM: Yes, it is very helpful. Another human being who is willing to listen and understand gives one confidence and the hope to transcend the pain.

Q: I suppose we should be careful who we entrust that confidentiality to. Bad advice could be dangerous?

HAM: No, I wouldn't be concerned about this. You don't have to take someone's advice or act on anything.

Q: Talking about it all helps? (Yes.) Ham, do you teachers have the power to take pain away from us?

HAM: No. We rather have the power of comfort, but this is due to our experience and our wisdom. We have not a magic wand to wave to take away your pain.

Q: I am confused because Sheldon says you did.

HAM: Her meaning was to comfort. It is analogous to saying give your burden to the Father and He will carry it for you. She says give me your pain and your problem and I will help you.

Q: Even that act of sharing and understanding can in itself be healing? (Yes, exactly.)

Shame, Guilt

Q: After some years I find I have been saying something ignorant and I repeat it a lot. I used to study Bradshaw in AA, that you could not heal the little child in yourself, but the best way would be to heal the little child in someone else and that would do that better than any other way you could do it? What you want for yourself, go give it to someone else.

HAM: Yes, this is valid. However, there are specific injuries and pain inside mat you must share with the Master, especially shame based problems. Helping others always helps yourself, certainly. It cannot be otherwise.

Q: Why did you emphasize shame based problems and could you say a little more about shame and guilt?

HAM: Yes. Shame and guilt are both deep emotions, even animal level feelings. And so these intense emotions are usually not healed or helped through the relating of the emotion and its cause. Only through spiritual advancement or transcendence does one clear your emotional slate of these two feelings.

The Teachers, Guardian Angels

Q: How much influence do our teachers have on us?

HAM: The teacher is just that, a teacher. Their influence is by word and example.

Q: How much of their influence is present in our everyday life?

HAM: The teachers are not angels, nor are we acting as midwayers. These both can encounter and influence your life. The teacher's influence is by word. Is this helping? (No.) For example, you receive a lesson from your teacher and you think about this and reflect on it in your life, and perhaps, it changes your attitude. This is our influence, perhaps you learn a greater understanding than you had before and this enables you to function more effectively in the world. Is this helping?

Q: Can you explain the difference between our teachers role and our guardian seraphim's role?

HAM: The seraphim help to guide your destiny and protect you and this destiny. They act only on orders from the Adjusters and from the Most Highs at times. They are not normally ever in direct communication with you, though they are present beside you constantly. (As our teachers are?) No, your teachers are not. They have cognizance of you and your past and an understanding of your future, but they are not ever present like seraphim.

Q: It says in the Urantia Book about a midwayer assigned to the watch-care of the apostle Andrew. Do any of us have midwayers assigned to us personally? (No.) There are midwayers that work with our group? (Yes, from time to time, but not on permanent assignment to an individual.)

Q: Will the presence of a teacher make a big difference in our life? (Yes, but this difference will be understood over time.)

Q: Clarify what you mean about teachers not being present, you mean abidingly present like the seraphim. It is possible, is it not, for a teacher to be present with us in a room, for example? (Yes.)

Q: When a child does something wrong, and we correct them, should they be made to feel ashamed or guilty? We do not want to be creating psychic wounds. Are there times when we should feel ashamed?

HAM: Yes, there are acts of man for which shame is the appropriate emotion. The problem is later in life when the actions are no longer occurring but the shame remains. This requires self-transcendence so that there can be self-forgiveness.

Q: What about dealing with children?

HAM: Give them enough self-respect and self-esteem that to do an act like that would cause shame and this will prevent these actions. Sometimes this is a cry for attention, an indication that something else is wrong or missing, and so one should try to find the cause for why the child would debase himself. Usually there is fear, anger, and insecurity at the bottom of all antisocial behavior. Is this helping?

Q: Is there an evolutionary basis of shame like there is for fear. Without fear, we would fail to avoid danger and would not live long. Is there a purpose to shame? Does it allow us to be socialized like fear allows us to avoid danger?

HAM: Very astute. These feelings of shame and guilt are on the borderline between what is human and what is animal. It is the beginning of humanness and have certainly played an immense role in the development of civilized society. They are the beginning of self-reflection and so are at the bedrock of human interaction.

PERSONAL QUESTIONS OMITTED