Group: Costa Rica TeaM
TR: S. Butterfield
Q: Why do I always have to be the first to forgive, the first to reach out with love?
“Would she come first before Jesus? Would she be last in the line of love? Last to be forgiven for her resentments and indignation? Tell your friend that she is forgiven All. Tell your friends that love does not require you to pretend, unless that is in line with god’s will and your own recognition a “little white lie” is the most loving or healing gesture to make in the situation. The fissures that arise between people due to personality “clashes” and individual faults are bridged only by love.”
Subject: First to Forgive
“Jesus was the first to walk across the bridge of troubled waters with love always in his heart. Always. And always he practiced the stillness, the talk with his Father, the conversation within. And that is your task, to keep love always in your heart, as your first focus, your discipline. Love will shape your forgiveness. Let love write the prescription. Do not think you must forgive in any one prescribed way. To be the first to forgive is to be first with yourself, and so as you practice forgiveness it becomes a more joyful task. There is so much joy that comes with forgiveness because there is so much joy in love.”
“Let us start again with Being First to Forgive is Being First with Your Self. Your innermost self, if your goal is to learn the ways of love, is aligned with your “highest” self, us, god the Father and Mother. Reaching out to forgive, however you do it, is a gesture that comes from within and only from within, from the same source and center of love. Anything else is either obedience or the practice of "as if" in order to learn. There is nothing wrong with the practice of “as if.” Imitation is one of the ways to learn. And often it is by repeated imitation that one is lead to discover the “real thing,” the truth that it is better to give than to receive, it is better to forgive than to not forgive, it is more joyful to love than not to love.
Dear friends, do not criticize your inability to immediately forgive, or even your inability to forgive over a longer period of time. The essential thing is to focus on learning how to love which will lead you to how to forgive. Have patience with yourselves. Forgiveness is a complicated matter which has its effect on the person doing the forgiving as well as the person being forgiven. Like the pebble thrown into the pond, the ripples spread outward. Also, like the act of throwing the pebble in the pond, briefly, the stillness is broken up into waves and you do not see the same surface. To set your intention is to raise your arm for throwing. To feel the potential reality of throwing the stone, is disorienting sometimes, raises your fears: Will I be the fool to forgive such an unacceptable recepient of my love? Stated that way, is not the answer simple? Not one of you is an unacceptable recipient of our love. You, my dear one, and your inquiring friend, are thoroughly acceptable recipients of my love. When you can not forgive, can not make the gesture or take the leap into that potential, stand back and enjoy the stillness again. It is from there you will be able to move forward, raise your hand once again, and each time you will come closer to throwing the pebble into the pond to allow the ripples and waves of forgiveness to spread outward to all the edges of that space you call pond, or life on planet Urantia. It is the intention that you must polish. If you can not make the gesture, you can contemplate the intention to make that gesture. Each time you contemplate your intention to forgive, while sitting within your stillness, you will see further, see more deeply into the ways of love, and learn new pathways for expressing love.”
“You are able to forgive because you have already been forgiven by the Father, Michael, Nebadonia, me and my others. That is the importance of the stillness practice. Take your concerns about forgiveness and the act of forgiving into your stillness, where we can speak to you, guide you, shower you with love and forgiveness enough to eventually build your courage to do it one more time; that is, one more time be the first to forgive. No one is keeping score. It is a practice to be the first to forgive, but it is equally a practice to learn how to receive forgiveness, accept foriveness, take in the love that comes with being forgiven. Both sides of the coin matter. The swinging door of love does not discriminate between first and last, it is open to all. You, however, may enjoy coming into love sooner rather than later, yes?”
“Do not allow the small conflicts to outweigh your goal. Your forgiveness can mend a conflict, but it can not mend “as if.” Your forgiveness must be true, for then the full power of love weighs in on the situation. You are impatient with yourself. You are impatient with him. You find it difficult to be so misunderstood. Remember this, forgiveness begins with the intention to forgive. When your forgiveness is complete, has reached its goal of love filling your heart, the joy of love radiating within your mind, then you will notice that all your troubles with this person have evaporated. Your impatience with yourself implies that your forgiveness alone matters. And it does, of course, matter, but so also does his forgivenes, so also must his forgiveness, his intention to forgive, reach fruition. Forgive in your heart. Once that has been accomplished then you will know what to do, and you may not need to do anything more than forgive in your heart. The gestures of forgiveness, the outward manifestations, help smooth the way among you, create happy interactions, but always it is the inner condition that must be true and clear. Without forgiveness in the heart, your gestures will only look good, while the cake will taste bitter. Yes, if your partner or friend wishes to make a gesture of warmth and loving reconciliation, that is good, but do not feel inferior because you can not in good faith do the same. Recall, Jesus was “never in a hurry.” It is not the speed with which you forgive others, but your sincerity that will change your world. Rest in the calm waters of our love and let this wash away your doubts. Your heart would love. Your concern with forgiveness attests to this, can you not trust that your intention is true? There are so many components to the act of forgiveness: your true state of being and acceptance, the other’s true state of being and acceptance, and the true state of being and acceptance of those that interact with you and him. I remind you of the pebble thrown into the pond. Lift the weight of your grief, the burden of misunderstanding, and let it go. Allow the ripples to reach the shores, as they will, naturally.
You grieve your lack of forgiveness because you do not forgive yourself for suffering. Are you to be above the human response to pain, insult or indignity? Allow your emotions to give you the sensitive information about the state of your relationships. Your happy emotions speak of love. Your pained emotions warn you. If you only pay attention to the happy emotions, if you do not listen to the correction of pain, you will only go further into the depths of confusion. Has it not occurred to you that your forgiveness may not be recognized no matter what you do? Take care of your own heart, that is your major concern. That is our major concern, that you learn to love yourself in order that your love can shine before the world. Do not treat your forgiveness like a dog on a leash, pulling and tugging, limiting your range of movement. If the forgiveness in your heart is true, you will be calm wherever you go, unrestricted, welcome. We hold you in the heart of love. We forgive your frustration, your agony of apprehension. Have faith in this, your growth is on time and we are pleased.
You are beginning to understand what we say. Forgive your self. Forgiveness of your self comes first. From that self forgiveness will flow forgiveness outward toward others. It is no different with love. You must allow your heart to fill up with love, some call this self love, some call this the love of god; love flows outward, from deep within, up and out toward others. Forgiveness comes with love, both deep within, up and out toward others. In this sense, when it comes to love and forgiveness, put your self first. Allow this love and forgiveness to come through you. Do not ask your self to pretend. If your gestures are based on your inner intention to love and to forgive, those gestures will serve. If your gestures are based only on your belief that you must, you should behave a certain way, then those gestures will ring hollow in your mind, and in the minds of others. Take to yourself first the task of love. This is a collaboration of Devina, Legion, and Alana.”
More on Forgiveness
“You are moving in the right direction. You are almost there. A man can not help from whom he was born. His mother and his father determined that, and he can only grow from that human condition into his greater inheritance, which is the realm of god, the unknown, the vast universes and universal existence. You are learning to forgive your husband for his propensity to expect you to be as his mother. You are learning to forgive a step-son for his propensity to see you as his mother sees you. Men, too, must forgive women shaped by fathers and brothers who struggled alike in the labyrinth of misunderstanding.
Forgiveness lies within. Just as you would wander in the labyrinthine garden until happily you finally enter that hidden spot where is the garden bench, so it is with forgiveness, it is at the very center of your family understanding. You must forgive to fully realize the center within, the stillness and peace that surpasses all human understanding and misunderstanding.
Forgiveness is the fabric of love. It is the lubrication between husband and wife. It is your pathway to god. We forgive you in every way. Our contact, our guidance, our presence is forgiving, forgiveness incarnate. Others can not forgive only because they have yet to understand how precious they stand before you and in the eye of god. It can be a matter of communication between yourself and another, wherein “poor” communication creates lack of love and forgiveness, and “good” communication can create the love and forgiveness that you seek. But you must recall that even He who Forgives remains misunderstood and treated as a myth to be used or discarded according to the ways of the world.
Trust that your forgiveness is genuine. You know that it is because you feel the lightness within your self, you see the light filling your mind and heart, you have no barriers, no veils before your friend. Yet do not expect your forgiveness to do the whole job, that is, to be the sole agent of change. You effect change with your forgiveness, but each human being is a free will creature and their choice is theirs alone to make. Your forgiveness allows that choice to be made, if it has not already been done. Go forth into your world with forgiveness in your heart and allow others to walk with you, as we do every moment of the day. Those who step aside or remain behind or go in another direction are to be given the forgiveness of love’s ability to expand over great distances and gaps of understanding. You do not, perhaps, receive the physical blessings of their human presence and interactions, but you have the joy of love in your heart and a peace that does not require anything from the recipients of your love.
There will be more. I am at your service as well as to my mission. Forgiveness is necessary for surrender, the letting go of all that has prevented you from achieving your goal of love, of learning how to love. Forgiveness is essential to discipline, the acceptance of pain, loss, giving up what has been with you for so long, in order to achieve something new, something far beyond what you had previously thought possible. I am Legion, your friend. You will know me better as we go along, and from knowing me will come your understanding of the Him within as well as him who is without. It is with mutual effort that we will come to balance out your feminine beliefs, and realize potentials yet to be discovered. You have a unique opportunity to understand. That is all for now. Proceed to your discipline now. Go to the mat for me (his body strengthening program for me). Legion”
TR: The following came after a morning discussion with my husband, David. We talked about the essential leap of faith required to believe in the teachers, and he asked for more information regarding the dynamics of forgiving oneself.
“I am Legion. We will continue with our lessons on Forgiveness.
Forgiving the Self First. Now you notice that I emphasize Self with a capital S, which is somewhat different from your self. Yet each is unto the other like the breast of the duck, of a certain weight according to the individual and indispensable for flight, the strength to fly. You carry within your “breast” so many wounds of life, weepings that protest your innocence, that carry your guilt and shame, that prompt you to rage at god. Yet you would fly. To set aloft you must lessen the burden on self and Self. You must then breathe in love and breathe love out, as the respirator to one with thickened lungs, allow love to breathe you. I breathe you in love now. I breathe in your love as you breathe in mine. We are indispensable to each other, one and another. When you can see that, or hear that message, and most importantly however it is done or comes to you, live that message, then you will understand why it is so important to forgive your self, my Self, and Others.”
“And, of course, you will speak differently once you have forgiven. You will read things differently. You will have a new perspective aligned with the truth of the matter, whatever that concern or issue is. And when you forgive, in your heart, completely, the world will change, especially your world. Your friends will feel the difference. Your partner will benefit from this difference. And we will celebrate your birth day of love with great joy. Sing a song of love. We sing with you. Legion, Alana and My Others.” Devina.
“Yes, I am Legion. Forgiving yourself takes the same leap of faith you offer to me now. You must believe in me, you must believe in your goodness whether your life demonstrates that goodness or reveals your many falls, whether your mother or your father or many others believe in you or not. It is always easier when others believe in you, just as it is easier to have a group of like-minded friends believing in me, but that is not always available, and so you must go on, must go forward with a leap of faith. The essential leap of faith is to believe in the unseen, the unproven. So many incidents and synchronicities may reassure you, give you the feeling of proof, be enough to sustain you in the face of contrary beliefs and accusations, but still, when it comes down to the “nitty-gritty,” all you have is faith.
Now faith, my dear one, is no different than believing in your husband’s love when you are angry, or he appears inscrutable to you. Faith is a sinew that holds the muscle and bone of love together in the face of annihilation. Your world fears its destruction, destruction by its inhabitants is more frightening now than the fears of asteroids and slipping planets. What is necessary now is faith in love, for it is only the energy of love that will overcome the rolling stone of madness, ancient history, and fascination with power and pain.
How to forgive yourself? “Just do it!” That falls a little flat, yes? Yet once you have practiced “as if” you have forgiven your self, that is exactly what happens, you just do it. So we will discuss the practice. I am forever egging you on. Practice the stillness. Stay in that quiet no matter what else you do and no matter the “results.” Practice strengthening your body, no matter if increasing strength appears to take you beyond the need or the desire to forgive your self, as you feel better and better and slip into a power that “forgets” your past weakness or inability to pursue love. Forgiving yourself happens in between the moment of thought, “I will forgive me. I am forgiven.” and the moment of bliss that is Forgiveness. It is a moment of breath, shall we say, an inspiration of love. You can not force it, but you can will it to be so, and in the moment between willing it so and when it is so, you will breathe in what has been always there and waiting, the Father’s love, the Mother’s embrace, Forgiveness. It is this forgiveness that surrounds your planet Urantia and therefore the importance of each individual, one by one, making that choice to believe, to leap with faith into the habits of love and forgiveness, habits that become the practice of spontaneous joy.”
“This is Devina. Listen to the birdsong, so carefree, the product of its breath being shaped by the muscles of the breast and throat, the spontaneous joy of the free bird’s response to sunlight and the day. You have that song within you. Yes, your husband’s Song is true, too. We sing with you, we sing with you. I whisk you away from Legion to say, Take a rest now and enjoy being a woman on planet earth with her man. That is all for now.”
The next morning, Legion began:
“The Discipline of Love is the Discipline of Forgiveness. Now and Now and Now. You are beginning to understand that forgiveness is not a singular act, but an unending attitude of understanding in the face of the inexplicable, love in the face of brutality, indifference, rejection. We do not expect you to be like Jesus, willingly going to the cross because he could do no less. You are not required to be the hero, the martyr, a solitary champion of the truth. What we ask of you is daily commitment to communion with the spirit of truth, resting in the hands of god’s love in order to conduct your simple daily tasks, your on going life, in the spirit of goodness and beauty. Goodness is gentle, beauty is more than the pleasure of the eye. Truth is friendly, even when you recognize the consequences of our truth to your world will be so great as to render you speechless with change. Love needs more than words. Love needs commitment, dedication, discipline, daily action, the surrender of your soul to the goodness of god. No soldier will be forgotten by god, yet no soldier need fling himself before “the infidels” and the machinery of human conflict in order to “go to god” or to receive god’s love and forgiveness.
Remember this, god loves you and Jesus came to your earth to proclaim this good news to All, even those who could not understand, as some of his disciples did not, even to those who would send him away. God’s love is all-embracing. The Father and the Mother spirit is strong and pliable, specific and all-encompassing, individual and un-differentiated. Love is what is coming. Love is your inheritance. Focus on love and stand tall.”
TR: I often do not remember what comes through at the time of transmitting. I felt some distress after reading Legion’s statement: “Practice strengthening your body,” (which is one of his programs for me) “no matter if increasing strength appears to take you beyond the need or the desire to forgive your self, as you feel better and better and slip into a power that “forgets” your past weakness or inability to pursue love.” That night, I blurted out to him my fear of arrogance and false pride, “What if I forget, become so strong that I forget I was once weak?”
“This is a common problem on your planet, and so those you revere are brought down, those who lead are mis-led. Again I say to you, practice the stillness. It is this constant communion with god that protects, this constant communion with the thought adjuster within, with me, with all those teachers assembled about you to greet you with their guidance. We are there when you rise. We are there when you fall. Do not fear your power simply because you may fall, or make a mistake as you grow and move forward into greater challenges. Everyone learns from mistakes, both you and those involved with you, even me. The ultimate mistake is to make the wrong choice, that is, to choose consciously to go in the wrong direction, to choose not to do the will of god, which is to love. That mistake is beyond my control, it rests in your hands. But if you refuse to strengthen your faith, to strengthen your ability to express and disseminate or share love, simply because you fear you will make the wrong choice ahead, then you deprive your self and others from god’s joy. The antidote to fear is the stillness. May I say it again? Practice the stillness. There within your quiet circle of love you will discover your potential, understand your growing power, and see the choices that must be made. Stay on the path of stillness practice and you do not need to be afraid. Some “forget” their weaknesses, but you will not, nor will others on your path. The forgetting of weakness is a willful choice to believe in one self above all others and beyond god. To grow in the strength and power of love is to grow in humility and gratitude. Power strengthened by god’s love is always gentle. Power in the absence of god’s love is brutal. Must you fear that you will turn away from god’s love? Must you fear that god will turn away from you? Practice the stillness, there is no fear there, nor forgetting.
We would speak to you now of standing in the stillness, all alone, and unhearing. Of course not one of you is all alone, we are always with you. But unhearing may convince you that we are not there, god does not exist, you are lost and so afraid. Be not ashamed of those moments of doubt and fear. Doubt hammers out your understanding, brings forth your cry for help, that crying softens the shell of your doubting isolation. No one is forgotten in this universe. You will not waver from your course if you listen to me: God is love, the love that awaits you is greater than you can imagine or see, simply tasting a drop of His living water is beyond your comprehension it feels so good. There is enough for all.”
“Give your love freely for it will be always replenished as soon as you turn to me. I am Michael and I have given every soul a taste of me in the spirit of truth. It resides within and will lead you always to my love. You can rest now, setting aside your fear, for I am always with you. We walk together, but you must dare to say that I have given you my hand. For others are waiting to know the same, to feel the trust I have given them within, to know my love is always with them.”
Legion. “Again you have trusted that what is happening to you is real, and again I say to you, you are loved, be at peace, we are at your command. Yes, you may command now, that is, trust that your faith is true and we are always with you. That is all for now.”