2001-10-07-Honesty & Self Honesty
Topic: Honesty & Self Honesty
Group: Nashville TeaM
Self-understanding is something which should be never ending. You are a child of infinity and you have an eternal destiny, therefore, self-discovery is also an eternal process. Have courage as you discover who you really are. Each new situation has the effect of eliciting new responses and new self-awareness. Let circumstances challenge you and allow yourselves to open up to new awareness, both outside and inside. You have a choice, you can go through life avoiding stimulation and change or you can embrace the new and honestly confront what you feel and experience.
There is a side of human nature that wants to remain in the old grooves of life, that wants to react the same way to the same sorts of things every time. But, if you look at this honestly, you will see that you are really exhibiting a fear of self-discovery. Sometimes it is easier to be comfortable with set patterns than to risk the new discovery of yourselves.
People often make blanket statements about likes and dislikes that shield them from having to be open to every new situation. If you say, for example, "I hate westerns" then you are shielded from every having to see a western and becoming a person who likes a western. You are shielded from a new and different view of yourself. Always there are things which fall outside your patterns that are easily missed because of blanket statements about yourselves.
But to be truly honest, you have to be open. You have to allow new experiences to come in unimpeded. To be truly honest requires a lack of prejudging. When you resist the temptation to prejudge a situation or people then you open yourself to new understanding which change you.
Human beings, especially as they grow older, tend to block off more and more parts of the world that they are uncomfortable in. Instead of experiencing the time they are living in, they simply avoid it and retreat to those things and friends and experiences that they become comfortable with. This is a mistake.
To grow vibrantly in the spirit means to grow in your time and to take in the world as it is and to experience what it has to offer. Often times the past is seen with rose colored glasses and a filter which leaves out all the uncomfortable things and allow in those things which are comfortable.
To be a spiritually vibrant person is also to be a pioneer. You are seeking out the new and the different, things which stimulate the mind and soul in the present time. Remember the Master’s counsel to the young man who was afraid. He said, there are many wonderful experiences and great things to be done, but you must go to those places where great things can be done. Isolation is stifling to spiritual growth. True growth requires honestly engaging life as you find it.
Another step in self-honesty is being open about your true feelings. Sometimes, these feelings are buried under years of suppressed vehemence about their non-existence and these suppressed feelings can change and color your reactions to the present world. Sometimes if you have an unreasonable reaction to something in the now time, it is helpful to trace it back and think about what it is that is causing this reaction.
There are many times, situations, that come up, that you have confused feelings about and this is the same situation. Acknowledge the deeper feelings and the confusion will lift. This process, my friends, is not an over night revelation. You cannot be instantly healed of old patterns, old problems. Think of life as a constant journey of self-discovery. You will rediscover the past as you discover the present. All these things work together.
So be open and be honest. Be joyful for these moments of life. Let go of old patterns and old ways of seeing yourselves that simply will not stretch enough to let in the new. Be engaged in life. Have spiritual vibrancy. Be careful not to dismiss and block out the things you might assume you would not like or wouldn’t want to do. Maintain a youthful attitude as you grow older for you have something very valuable to give to this generation. You cannot require them to meet you in the past, you must meet them in he present. Withhold your criticism. Let young people find their way and be always as open as a child where everything is new and wonderful and different. Be as unafraid as that child is. Experience life , live in the present, in the now. And to do this, require yourselves to continually let go of the past. To do this, you must acknowledge it honestly. Then those events of the past have no more sway over you. Be honest with yourselves and you will grow vibrantly in the spirit. Are there any questions at this time?
Ham: Certainly. This scientific endeavor, which is really more or less the endeavor to discover the secret of human happiness, this science is moving in the right directions and is sometimes stumbling in that it tries to make the simple into something more complex. When we look at human societies, it is often the simple common sense instruction which does the most good for the most people. The complex theories of the scientists are often only perpetuated among themselves doing very little for the population at large. The human beings continually make the simple into something complex and sometimes the complex into something too simple. But this is how civilization and science progress. Without errors and stumbling, it is questionable whether their would be real progress. Is this helping your understanding?
Q: Absolutely, thank you.
Q: I have questions about last week, when Ruth shared her grief about the loss of her son you were able to give her a lot of information. You said he would continue to experience similar things or the same things he would have experienced if he were living here including the raising of children. Does that mean children who have left this life and passed over or do you mean he would be influential in raising children who are here?
Ham: It would mean children who have passed on to the next life, yes, absolutely.
Ham: Very often the child is held in sleeping until the parent arrives then the parent continues raising that child. Children in general over the age of 16 or sometimes 17 go ahead on their own but younger children need the nurturing of parents.
Ham: Correct, during the what you may think of as the death sleep there is no consciousness of time. So, much time may in actuality elapse between death and resurrection but there is no consciousness of it. For the person it is closing your eyes here and opening them there as if it were an instant.
Q: Ham, may I ask for a message for Jim who asked for one please?
Ham: Certainly. My son, you do well. You are coming into some awareness and experiencing some greater awareness of yourself. Life is full of the hard knocks that make these awarenesses possible. Be grateful for defeat for in defeat is the mirror in which we see our true selves. Be joyous and happy in this time. Rise again for a new day and new opportunities. Sometimes the struggle to know yourself is the most difficult one but it is also the most rewarding. So be at peace.
Q: Ham, do you have any input for me this week?
Ham: Of course, my son, you are a person who likes the comfort of that which is known and yet you are one who appreciates the new and embraces it with an openness that few others have. You are a person always wrestling with the understanding of honesty and self-awareness and you value honestly highly in others. You know that self-deceit is the most insidious of all dishonesty. But be at ease, my son, for your intentions are fully known and your struggle for truth is fully appreciated. Realize that this is something which will continue throughout your life, you will not reach a point and say "aha, I have the truth, it is here", for as soon as you say that it will be elsewhere. Truth is more a state of becoming than a possession. Grow toward truth and let yourself be ever changing and growing with it. Do not try to imprison it and make it be a certain way or a certain thing. Also, have faith in yourself. Have faith that you can be a measure of goodness and truth and beauty of reality. Have complete faith that spiritual growth is real. Don’t undermine yourself with a secret doubting but put your doubts on the table along with your faith.
Q: Ham, do you have anything for me this week?
Ham: Certainly, yes, you are someone who enjoys embracing the new and enjoys stretching your limits. This is good for spiritual growth. You are also someone who is fiercely self honest and someone who wants to maintain a personal integrity that is inviolate. This is also good. But, be careful not to impose these high standards on others, but rather to allow them to find their own standards and ways of living. And also, be careful about making your own standards so high that you disappoint yourself. Appreciate yourself where you are today and love yourself at this place now. Don’t withhold your self-love until you attain some future perfection.
Q: Do you have anything for Rebecca?
Ham: Of course. Daughter, you do well. Have courage and confidence within yourself. But also, be gentle with yourself as well. You too tend to hold impossibly high standards and then create feelings of inadequacy and unnecessary problems. Continue to work on receiving love from others. You are someone who is comfortable giving love but is not completely comfortable in receiving. Work on this.
Ham: Yes, my son, you are also prone to undermining your self-confidence through setting impossible standards and you also have some trouble receiving love for yourself and tend to distrust love as though you are afraid that the structure of love around you will be pulled away so you are afraid to get too comfortable with it. The love in your early home life was something untrustworthy and so there is always an underlying fear of abandonment and a feeling of being unworthy of love. But my son, if you could only understand the immense love which surrounds you, if you could experience a tiny fraction of the infinite love of the Father, these fears would be dispelled. Work in the stillness on receiving love and work on receiving love completely in your emotional life as well.
Q: Ham I would appreciate any input you have for me.
Ham: Certainly, my son, you do well. You are coming to understand more and more the value of honesty and self-honesty especially. You can see it in many others who cling to old patterns and do not allow in the germ of truth that might change their lives. Be therefore vigilant in your own life and honest with yourself and others. Truth is the most valuable thing. The delusions of the ego are easily shattered but the truth loving person stays balanced and poised during these ego shattering events usually because that person has been through this themselves. So, let the ego shatter, cleave closely to truth and honesty and you will do fine.
Q: Personal message for Norbert?
Ham: Certainly, my son, all is well. Remember that life is full of surprises and just when you think you are certain of something, something else will shatter that myth. The only thing you can be certain of is the Father’s love. Everything else will change. Learn to trust in change and not to fear it.
Q: Personal message for Esmarelda?
Ham: Certainly, my daughter, your health is improving and this is wonderful to see. You may experience low energy for some time and this is indicative that the body is engaged in inner work or healing. Don’t push yourself, but stay very restricted in your activities. Heed the lesson and that is all.
Q: Personal message for Elena?
Ham: Certainly, my daughter, life will also throw you a curve ball from time to time. Times when you think you should be making good progress you find yourself just keeping up. But, this is a part of your experience and a part of your growth. Be careful with yourself, don’t force yourself to do too much.
Q: Personal message for Charlie B?
Ham: Yes, of course. My son, you do well to heed this lesson. Continue to grow and to be open to that which is new. Find what is valuable for you in all things. Don’t worry so much about universal truth right now, seek those things which help you and you can apply these things universally at another time.
Q: Ham, could I have some feedback from you this week please?
Ham: Certainly. My son, you are doing well and are working through some old issues even if it is not very obvious. This will help you very much in the future, so keep working on it, keep digging in that place, you will find what is valuable.Are there any further questions?
Q: I would like to know if you have some insights for me?
Ham: Certainly, my son, you are a person of great moral strength. You are someone who applies moral principles in your life and truly tries to live by righteousness. Remember that not everyone else can live up to these kinds of standards, but that you have a duty to understand that and to love them in spite of how they fall short. This is very difficult for as you go through life and accumulate experience and are humbled by the many difficulties that are part of living, you will find your compassion growing and your understanding stretching to include things which you are kind of afraid to include now. Understanding your fellows who are not as morally upright does not tarnish or diminish your own moral standing but rather enhances it. So be gentle with others and be careful not to beat yourself up with your own high standards either. Life is full of difficult choices and areas of moral uncertainty. Each person chooses by the light of their own understandings.
Q: I’s like to know if you have anything for me?
Ham: Of course. Yes, you are a person of great endurance. You are someone who searches for the answers and you endure many things to find some truth. You are also a person of great spiritual connection. Someone who can have profound spiritual insight in a flash and then lose that and be confused or uncertain for a period of time. Use that endurance to keep searching, keep following that thread of truth and you will come to a place which is not the final answer but will be a place of peace and spiritual tranquility. Remember that it’s not so much a struggle as an allowing. You are allowing the spirit to enter and to lead. This is different than fighting with it. You will find your own balance and your own pace. Don’t be discouraged by those who say you must be here or you must be there, you must do this or that. The spirit is a personal thing and you will find it in your own personal way.