2002-05-30-Disappointment

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Topic: Disappointment

Group: Unknown

Facilitators

Teacher: Welmek

TR: Unknown

Session

Opening

Good evening. This is your friend and teacher Welmek. I have a challenging evening for you if you are so willing to engage with me tonight.

If you have followed the thread of the lessons over the past several months, we have discussed in depth doing the Father's will, what it means to be happy, how to live in faith, how to motivate trust to find that hope for the future. And now, I hope that you have gathered a knowledge base of these workings of the spirit within your life to go with me, even deeper now, into the place within the human heart, and that is a place of disappointment. Are you ready to go with me there tonight? (All say yes!)

Lesson

Human life is filled with disappointment - from the trivial matters of superficiality to those crushing blows where you question your very reason for living. Deep pain caused by these defeats of the soul, you would call them, are all a part of daily life here on Urantia. And in my encounters with my human brethren, there is not one person who has not in some fashion or form dealt with this. And so I ask you my friends, are you ready to go there? Are you willing to walk through the muck and the mire within you and find that place of disappointment, and sharing that with me tonight, where I can help you find your way out; help you find the relief that will release you from this crushing spiritual burden that is not yours to bear in life alone. Is this something you are interested in doing this evening? (All say an emphatic yes!)

This may not be easy, and I am not trivializing this. But I ask you now to be honest with yourself and go to that place where you have faced a dark night of the soul. And when you are there, I want you to call out for Jesus and ask him to throw you the lifeline. And take a few moments to do this. (Long pause.)

If you have envisioned this lifeline, tie it around you. See if you can feel yourself being firmly tethered within this lifeline. (Pause.) And now call upon Jesus to lift you out. (Pause.) In this experience was it possible for you to gain a sense of being rescued?

Dialogue

Student: I was unable to properly conduct the exercise.

Student: Welmek, for me it was recalling the tense six months of being half insane, and really to a point of being awake, for days and nights on end. And I just simply asked the Thought Adjuster at that time to help. So I could know what I am doing and make the decisions necessary. And it was there!

Welmek: C, would you be willing to share with me what you did experience, if anything, in this exercise?

Student: My body tensions were distracting. I had difficulty visualizing what my disappointment or despair looked like, and what Jesus looked like, and what the lifeline looked like. And I wasn't sure where I was being rescued to. And I wasn't sure what that disappointment looked like, although I'm going through a very trying time now, so it seems like that should have been more easy for me to be in touch with, but for some reason just now, it's not.

Welmek: I find it interesting that you use the words "I didn't know what that looked like." For inasmuch as this is an exercise of using your imagination, it is also about experiencing something very real and a feeling awareness within you of what that feels like instead of what that looks like.

Disappointment is not a visual image; it is a feeling experience. It is a sense of defeat or dejection, dashed expectation. And so, as you say, in going through the trying experience that you are; what may have circumvented that awareness is the idea of what disappointment is rather than the experience of being disappointed. And what I would have asked and hoped and sought your participation was in the experience of being disappointed. And I understand that this is difficult.

Student: It's very present in my life to a nearly overwhelming degree, at times. I'm disappointed with myself. I feel betrayed by a loved one. There's lots going on. I guess I'm afraid of going there, in the sense that I found myself even emotional to the point of tears over these issues. And I prefer not to go there now, to that deep sense of disappointment. It connects with a feeling of loneliness, isolation.

Welmek: I understand. And this is why I suggested that this evening's lesson would be difficult. The human heart was not designed to harbor these crushing feelings, it was designed to live in a state of joy and peace and love. And so, when the heart is heavy with these burdens there must come a point in time within the mind and strivings of the human soul to release the heart from this captivity and to let it sing within the sun of the Father's love, to bask in this warmth and to rejoice in the glory in the song of light.

And so to you my friend, I say do not let your fear of feeling the pain of disappointment and loneliness prevent you from releasing your heart from this bondage. For it is by going to that place within your heart where all those dashed dreams reside and saying, "I want no more of this." And by letting yourself experience that, and calling out for help, you are activating that lifeline that Jesus automatically extends to you and says, "Here you are my child - grab - hold on, I will pull you out." And in that moment of connection, you are lifted out of your misery and planted firmly on spiritual soil, and it begins to fill the places in the heart with light and love and acceptance and connection, and banishes forever this feeling of spiritual isolation and darkness. This is not a conceptual exercise as much as it is a living experience of actively calling out for Jesus and asking Him to save you. Do you have any comments or questions on this idea?

Student: No. I feel like I've been on a roller coaster of emotions and that I am receiving a difficult lesson that will result in me being more evolved. And I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, that I am making it through this difficult time and finding happiness within, and a connection with a higher source of happiness, and to expect to find it from others or from material situations. And I appreciate your words of truth and perhaps I can call upon Jesus for help. This is a new concept for me at this time for this situation, although I have done it in the past; I've called out for help without asking for Jesus specifically, and it was during transformative times in my life. So I feel your words are true and helpful. Are there any other practices or ways for me to connected, you might share with me? I would appreciate it. Although you've given me enough tools already, I'm sure.

Welmek: It is a matter of finding the right tool for the right project; the correct use. I would say that when you ask for help from Christ Michael, Jesus, who lived on this planet as the divine being who had human experience, you are availing yourself of the one who had the full awareness of human disappointment and can truly empathize with all that you go through in your own walk of life. He has the power, my friend, to lift you out of your despair. This is His innate function in human life. And the relationship that you have with Him, whether or not you have fully acknowledged it as that of father, brother, savior, path forger, and you are the child, brother, student. It is a multi-functional relationship, and you are relating to Jesus in many ways that feed your highest good.

It is very important in human life to come to know the full range of personality relationship that you share with this wonderful friend, counselor, and the One who loves you most devotedly. The personal relationship that you share with Jesus is one that will comfort you for days and years to come. He is the source of your comfort in human relationships, and there is no problem that you cannot take to Him that He will not fully understand. In Him you have divine mercy combined with human empathy. There is nothing greater than this and you can experience it in human understanding.

So I encourage you to ponder this - the ability to have the relationship now - and to use this more fully to your advantage, to overcome these deep, deep levels of isolation and disappointment that you feel within you. He will actually pick you up and put you on the path of light and life, and all things good will follow. Do you understand?

Student: Yes, with a question about how I can experience that connection with Him. How am I to perceive His presence? My five senses don't seem adequate, I suppose? I think it would be a feeling or a visualization?

Welmek: I cannot say how He will reveal himself to you. What is your part of the relationship is to ask to know Him in a new and dynamic way that will speak to deepest part of your soul. So in your prayer you might ask Him and say, "Jesus, I have not had a full and deeply satisfying revelation of who you are and what you mean in my life, and I am interested, and I am willing. And I want to know you. So I ask you know, I invite You into my being and ask you to reveal yourself to me. I am ready to receive." And that is all you need to do. But you must infuse your request with sincerity and honesty that this is what you wish. And come to Him with the openness of faith and let Him respond. Does this help? (Yes, very much. Thank you.) I am honored to be able to bring these words to you this evening. Does anyone have other comments about their exercise and experience?

Student: I would like to pass for the moment.

Student: Yes, Welmek. It didn't take long for me to experience the feeling of disappointment or despair because of what I have experienced not so long ago for five or six months. It's still a little raw in me. But also it seems like over the past year and a half I've been experiencing challenge upon challenge. And it seems like yesterday I had enough of it all, in that I'm tired of people's irresponsibility and lack of perception, and their lack of responsibility affects me. And I just said I've had enough of all of this. It's not fair! It's not right!

And now my daughter's experiencing a very challenging episode in her life, as you well know. And I'm deeply disappointed with her mother for not helping her with this situation. But I'm there for my daughter, as you know, she is pregnant, and she's only sixteen years old. But I love her very, very dearly! So, for awhile, there I was at a quandary of how to react to all this. But I remember our conversation about increasing my capacity to love. And I do love my daughter with all my heart and soul. So, I'm not disappointed in her, I'm just there for her, just another challenge in my life, and her life as well.

Welmek: I would say that as you grow in your spiritual fragrance, every drop of fragrance will be extracted from you, from your human associations to the point where you will at times feel there is nothing left to give. And so what is it that you do? You ask the Father to increase your capacity, to extend your capabilities to give out more love through your intake of spiritual sustenance. And in these times when people try your patience, you go to that place within you that is empty and say, "Father, fill me with understanding. Fill me with compassion. Fill me with tolerance." For this is the time when the Father will then lift you to the place where you receive all that you need to replenish yourself, to see the perspective from His eyes, and to nourish your soul to meet the obligations and challenges placed in front of you. All of your life will be in this exchange, especially since you have asked to be a vessel of the Fathers' love.

Your life's circumstances may not actually become easier, on the contrary, I would say that they will become more challenging. But your capacity to handle them and to stay connected and buoyant and light of heart, will increase the more you seek this, and seek to master this to overcome the disappointments with understanding and courage and faith, and most of all, the love that the Father bestows to you. And you simply tap into that and allow Him to say, "This is mine and I give it to you."

Go into those places that have been drained of the spirit and ask the Father to feed you. And if you need an enlarged understanding of these difficulties, you can certainly turn to the mind of Jesus and ask Him to fill you with how He handled these trying circumstances in His life. For His patience was tested as He dealt with a vast array of difficult personalities, both intimately and distantly. And so you have more than adequate help at hand. It is a matter of asking to be replenished, and not to stay too long in the place of self pity, but to acknowledge that when the self pity does come out, to use that as a reminder that you are tapped out, and to go to your source of strength and comfort. Does this help?

Student: Yeah, that makes very much sense, because I sensed that yesterday, when I felt that weakening within myself, tiredness, then I knew that, in a sense, neglected my soul and that I needed to take care of that, in stillness, and change my attitude as well! And, the same thing, I remembered during the weekend when I was driving home from my friend's house, and I was late and I kind of just started crying because I just wanted to live in truth. And I wanted to experience the mind of Jesus as my own, because His mind is my mind, Christ Consciousness. And to love as Jesus loves, and that's all I want! I do want, obviously material things, I want to live financially independent and things like that, but I also understand, for me it's like, seek Heaven within, and love all things. Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven, then all things will come unto me. That's always been my credo.

Welmek: And so I would encourage you to think about the words that you spoke a few moments earlier about replenishing your soul. And to make that the first sustenance you seek. Just as you need food for you body, you need food for your soul, and that is the time of stillness, communion with the Father, communion with all the spiritual presences within you, and being re-nourished, regenerated, reconnected. Seek first this spiritual soul refreshment and life will become much easier to bear. (Thank you.)

Student: Welmek, these last few minutes, just being with you and C. and D., I've pretty much re-lived this six months in purgatory and realized why I closed the lid on it for awhile because of the complexity of this relationship, was such that, its like a big knot that you can't pick a thread anywhere. But I've heard what you've told, shared with C. and D. and without getting into that complexity, I'd just like to share with you my deepest treasure and gem out of that time.

The truth that can save us, that we recognize, maybe with a little of that Spirit of Truth that Jesus put in our heart, is hiding behind pain. And the only way to get there is to loose our fear of feeling the pain! And in the feeling of that pain, truth arrives. (Tape ends.) . . The saving grace is that we are somehow deciding and choosing everything that is happening to us. And we are free. As you just reminded me, it's when you say Jesus I want this to stop! Please help.

Welmek: My brother, I acknowledge that which you have learned. You have gained a great treasure in that experience.

The fear response is a great component of the animal nature, but the human nature is also infused with courage that can plunge you into the depths; to be in that deepest and darkest of all fears, and to pierce right through it into the light of truth. This lesson that you so touchingly experienced, exemplifies the spiritual fortitude that is necessary to accomplish this and in liberating yourself. I daresay that each of you has the capacity to do this. You are not alone. You have the spiritual lifeline and it is unassailable, you cannot break this. It will pull you through to find that place of safety and security, and above all - freedom - life in the spirit. This is the promise that Jesus made when He said, " I am the Way, the Truth, the Life." It is up to you to ask for your courage to be activated now, to take you to that place where He can be with you and free you into the life and the light of spirit - spiritual freedom.

Do you want this? Do you crave this? Is this your sole purpose of living? I ask you to think about this in the days to come. Where are your priorities in living? If you make this your priority, my friends, I guarantee that you will find a life more full and more real and more rich and more satisfying than you could imagine. Challenge yourselves. Embolden yourselves. Empower yourselves. You have everything within you and without you to do this. How much do you want this? The choice is yours. Are there any other comments or questions before we conclude?

Student: Yes Welmek, this is D. What I alluded to you earlier about my daughter. What is the best thing for her to do right now? And I realize you may not answer this, that the decision is up to her and up to us, you know, to either carry through with the pregnancy and birth of a child, or to terminate the pregnancy. It's a very difficult question to answer. I just wish to know the spiritual ramifications of such a decision. And also, for her, the consequences, spiritually and psychically?

Welmek: Spend time in prayer with her, and asking for wisdom that you be given a broader depiction of the consequences of each option presented before you. And not just on a material level, but on an emotional and spiritual level as well. This is a challenging undertaking, and it is not one that you can just make in a day or so. And when you have choices that are constrained by material limitations, you are under somewhat more mental pressure, and this is not a good place of mind to be when seeking spiritual guidance.

So I would caution you to remind your daughter that any decision made in haste can have difficult ramifications for her later in life, and to take a deep breath and to relax and to ask for the highest good for all people, yourself, her child, and the child's father to come into play. Spend time as a family in prayer. And spend time with the young man's family, if you can, in prayer in seeking the Divine Mind to do the Divine Will. You have a challenge before you, my friend, and I encourage you to turn to your community of faith for their sustenance as well. Does this help?

Student: Yeah, I know there is a little apprehension within me, because I'm uncertain of how things will unfold. I just don't know what to do for all concerned.

Welmek: This is not your decision to make in the final outcome. It is true that you do have a moral and financial responsibility for your daughter, but this is her life. This is her body. This is her child. This is her decision to make. The best you can do for her is to pray with her, counsel her based on your highest spiritual awareness, and pray that the love of Michael and Mother to comfort and guide your daughter in the coming days. These are difficult experiences for young people who are not equipped to handle the responsibilities of parental life. And so we understand, but know that, as long as her decision is made with the intention to do the highest good, that is all the Father ever asks. Even though human judgement may be fallible in its decisions, if the heart does strive to do the best, then there is no judgement. And all things will work to the highest good in time. So take a deep breath, my friend, and join hands with Michael who will walk with you through this time.

Closing

My friends, there is One who knows all of the trouble and disappointments of life. And there is nothing, and no place, and no experience that our Master cannot and will not share with you. So give Him you burdens. Give them all to Him, and take His yoke, for it is light and life and love and joy. Exchange your yoke for His, and walk side by side with Him as He shows you how to master all of life, and to walk with joy and love and lightness in your heart. Good evening.