2005-10-31-Discovering God's Will, Love Without Possession

Session

Opening

Dear Mother Spirit and Michael:

Tonight on a very chilly Fall evening we brave the ghosts and the goblins to gather in to the warmth of Your presence. Even though it’s all-hallo’ed-e’en"—Halloween, we definitely prefer to forgo all the scary shenanigans to hear Your true story of the real transformation of the Correcting Time. So say on and say well; we are all ears—figuratively speaking that is. Amen.

Good evening, My sons, this is your Mother, Nebadonia. So!--it’s Greetings and Salutations on this spooky evening. This is very definitely an acquired habit, this delighting in having chills running up and down your spines, sneaking up on yourselves and shouting, Got-cha! For a short while it puts some of the real fears and terrors of your earthly life off to the side, and you can just enjoy frightening yourselves and each other, letting your children dress up in all sorts of costumes and parade about the neighborhood, intimidating all the neighbors into bribing them with treats to forestall the tricks—though trick-or-treat isn’t what it used to be.

Lesson

It is interesting how all such human celebrations do slowly change over the years. When we think of Halloween, or Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter—these do slowly change. Each generation finds its own slightly different meaning. The evolution of human institutions follows the slow evolution of humanity itself. As individual members of mankind evolve, so do their institutions and their holy days—their holidays. And this is good. This is the only way traditions can remain alive, though it seems a paradox that something can only survive and continue by changing. Yet this is the essence of life itself, constantly changing, transforming, mutating. This is why We have been assuring you that through this incessant change that is your life, there is an essence of you that does not change, but rather serves as the anchor, the continuity that ties everything else together. This is your personality, which We have likened to a little nodule of God himself that He creates and sets free, free from His absolute determinism of physical cause and effect--the whole material universe swinging around Paradise. He gives you this relative autonomy so you may truly have your own adventures in time and space, your own unique experiences. And so you blazon across the years of your life like a comet, leaving a trail behind you, created moment to moment, and this is a further continuity; this is your soul. This is your only true, and only necessary possession. This above all is the reason for you to pay great respect to what you choose to carry through eternity.

What do you want to experience within your own life and with your fellows? What is it you wish to have this way? Think: from this perspective you do not have things so much as you have events. There is nothing material upon which you can lay hold forever except your experience with them. And so it is this living interaction with things and people, both, that becomes your treasure. Any merely unconscious habitual repetition with things or people, places or events, are as nothing to your soul because they have no spiritual value. Does this give you some insight and inspiration as to how to order your life—why We encourage you to welcome a spirit of adventure; not newness just for the sake of being new, but something that truly challenges you and requires you to stretch yourselves to encompass, something that has the potential to change you towards growth, to be more than you are today, tomorrow?

The best way to find this is to deliberately break up your habits, break up your routines, stop and wonder what to do next, and not be afraid of the awesome challenge that this creates from time to time, almost a kind of panic of what to do next, how are you going to fill this day without all your habits? And yet sit resolute right within this panic until it subsides and you can have a clear idea as to how to fill your day with God’s will. Over and over again, My children, let this be a refreshing kind of mantra, not just some knee-jerk reaction or another habit, but a reminder when you ask yourself that question--what do I want--also ask yourself: what does God want for me? And then really open your mind as to what this might be. As We have suggested before, open yourselves completely to whatever wild notion might occur to you as God’s will, completely disregarding whether you can do it or not. Be open to it. Write it down. Have a look at it. Wonder how you might possibly do it. For it is these suggestions of His that can truly renew your life, that can break you out of the dull, cloying habits that are killing you, and encourage you like a butterfly struggling to free itself of its cocoon, so you too can take wing.

Relinquish all those notions of what you think you are supposed to be doing at your particular age or station in life—youth, or middle-age, or old age. These can be deadly concepts when they are determining your behavior based on all kinds of unconscious assumptions, which are in turn based on previous generations. Throw them out. Take a deep breath and feel your heart beating. This is what you are. You are this living being, capable of creating something new. You can develop the strength to face the challenge of having today be something transforming; something, like this holiday tonight, something evolving. Your imagination is your most wonderful gift from the Father, for with it your share in His creativity--like Him, not only in the creation of what has gone before and brought you to this moment, but the living creativity to make a sharp right or left turn if you so desire, and it seems to be God’s will saying: Go this other way. This is the real challenge: to fill your lives. This is the real source of strength and creativity to keep you ever green.

Taking these pains is very similar to accepting the small aches and pains of stretching your body so that whatever age you are, you stay loose and flexible, and can go along ever so lightly. Ask yourself, what does God want me to do today? Then enjoy the surprise that you can actually hear His answer, hear it in the deep stillness, snug in My Mind-Adjutants, buoyed and encouraged by Michael’s Spirit of Truth, ever more at one and in good company with the Fragment of our Father living within your mind. My children, you are such marvelous beings. It is Our great delight to have you discover this for yourselves. So on this all-hallowed-saints-evening, look to your own spirits and rejoice in your own creativity. If you have any questions or comments this evening, bring them out. I won’t even say, Boo!—again.

Dialogue

Student: Dear Mother Nebadonia, a week ago last Sunday, I attended a church which had this healing…a Lutheran church which doesn’t have this healing often, and I prayed for discernment because I had studied it in a TRH program, and got help with it before. But I found out that it’s a gift that’s in the Bible, and it did comfort me, the prayer that the minister D prayed with me and for me. I would ask for more insight into this gift of discernment that’s been well known in the Bible, and I had heard of it, but I definitely felt help. Thanks in advance for Your answer.

NEBADONIA: Yes, V, let Me ask you to define for both of us a little more what you mean by discernment.

Student: Apparently the word seems to be, seeing through to the truth of the matter. At first I was helped in it to find…look into a better job situation. A program out of France uses this to make decisions. But it turns out the ordained minister in the Lutheran church…they see the word discernment as a spiritual gift, and it also seems to mean seeing through to the truth of a matter on something. There’s possibly an element of bravery to fearlessly face what the discerning eye is recognizing, undoubtedly with the help of the Thought Adjuster and other spiritual influences. That’s what I felt it meant.

NEBADONIA: Yes, and so you pretty well answer yourself. To Me the word primarily means what you have expressed , a deeply penetrating, analytical perception that enables you to separate all the various pieces of a puzzle or situation—that’s the analytical part. Then, as you say, with the help of all your spiritual powers and presence’s—your imaginative wisdom, your Father Fragment, and your life’s experiences—you bring all these to bear to penetrate to the truth of a matter. So just in this description of what discernment is, you see the process you go through. First you take something in, in its fullness, its completeness. And since most situations are living affairs, because you are alive, and so are the other people, you need a delicate touch on the analytical part. A very delicate surgery is called for that does not disturb or harm the organic nature of the situation. For if you—figuratively—wade in with a meat axe of a lot of prejudices, opinions, ulterior motives--especially unconscious ones—you thoroughly destroy the living tissue of the situation just trying to analyze it. But then you have to reflect and bring the full weight of your wisdom and experience to bear, to penetrate to the truth--as you perceive it!

This last part is very critical, My son: to accept your own subjectivity, and not make the colossal error of assuming you have found some absolute truth itself. If you are strong within, and trust yourself, you don’t need this. You can accept fully this is just your truth; and it’s all you need. And with humility for all the possibilities of how this situation appears to others--in other words, not shutting that out--you still go forward with your truth. If called upon, you can express it that way. For so many folks make this colossal error after having expended enormous resources to arrive at their own personal truth. They feel they somehow have to play God and pronounce it as Truth Itself. I sure you can understand how much blood was shed throughout human history on that alter of ego.

This is your discernment, My son, and that alone is value enough, and sufficient grounds for action. Does this answer your question? Student: Another wonderful answer, dear Nebadonia. I want to thank You retroactively for the fact that the discernment answers I got in the last year took away a lot of the animal fear element, and felt more like the Spirit of Truth working, so I will cherish this word with You even more. Thank You again.

NEBADONIA: You are very welcome, My son. It is indeed liberating to recognize all these separate elements that go together to make up your life. The physical, the mental, the spiritual, the personal, the soulful—they’re all united in your personality’s experience, yet as you strive to achieve greater oneness—of vision, of purpose—just feeling yourself living moment to moment as a tightly-knit single being—still what a blessing to be able to recognize all the separate elements, if you will, all the individual threads that are weaving together to make you. And so you proceed on both feet, both toward oneness and appreciation of these separate elements. You continue in My love.

Student: Thank You, Nebadonia. Thanks too to all the wonderful persons who helped write the Urantia book, which makes these things easy to digest. Thank You very much.

Student: Yes, Mother, I don’t have any formal questions, but just desiring more to be quieter in my life. I have noticed recently how my meditations have been deepening, and when I lay down, at times, to quiet myself and just still my body, and to allow it to be taken over by spirit, that I have been focusing more on love, and allowing the power of love to take over my being. And it seems to be awakening a more quiet, less verbal part of me. And it’s interesting watching, as I had mentioned with Michael from last week, the dialogue that goes on within my mind. And it’s usually, a lot of times, quite negative, especially towards other people. And I just watch it, and watch how it reacts in my body, and the pain and discomfort it creates. But then, when I watch this and allow another communication to come in, the words of love allow that power to take over, and then the pain is released. And this is where I desire to live from more and more. It feels more freeing that way. And I’ll just pray that I am able to overcome and succeed in this endeavor and prayer.

I guess what I desire from You, to hear from You, is just some observation about what I am experiencing, and leading into?

NEBADONIA: Yes, D, you recall that Michael told of a number of different dimensions of reality, and how they’re all guiding you, drawing you ever upward and inward--ultimately to Paradise. The drawing power of personality--God Himself; the Eternal Son’s Spirit; the Infinite Spirit’s dimensions of Cosmic Mind: this drawing power is love itself. It is literally the love these infinite and absolute Beings have towards all Their sons and daughters that transcends time and space and brings Them very close to you, both personally and through all Their subordinate Sons and Daughters, such as Michael and Myself.

You can think of a hierarchy, a spiritual hierarchy of values, where what you expressed this evening as negative feelings towards others, or conflicts with others, can be seen as a kind of an equilibrium of forces meeting each other—kind-of butting heads, if you will, on a certain level. And this is real. This contentiousness, and striving, and struggling is all very real. It is not just some illusion. It’s very separate people, unique individuals with unique histories and desires, coming in contact. And so some of the striving and the contention expresses a certain balance of forces on one level, and your mind elaborates that; sometimes defensively when you feel you’ve been wronged or slighted or wounded; other times offensively, when you think of revenge or getting an upper hand, an advantage.

But then when ideas and deep commitments to love enter the picture in your mind, you can suddenly find yourself on another level, transcending the feelings you just had. And this too is real. The contention is real, but the love represents a higher, overarching kind of connection. It can actually unite you with this person with whom you are contending. It can enable you to see their humanity. You can even have wonderful glimpses of how you are both being seen by higher spiritual beings, such as Michael or Myself, or the Father you both have in common, Who loves you both.

This way you are not trapped in a narrow, totally subjective viewpoint, seeing things from within a very limited personal viewpoint, but you are suddenly above the fray, seeing things from a viewpoint of the loving connection of spirit and mind. You are able then to recognize the two personalities involved, and maybe even a bit of the soul of you both. Does this describe the process to you, My son?

Student: Yes, it does. Yes, it does. But I notice how it feels when I am in that kind of negative-uncomfortable state, and how I can be easily sucked into that. And it’s so…at times so very painful, and so de-energizing, and it so…takes me away from life--how I truly want to live it. And so I say to myself, I don’t want to be in this place anymore. I want to come from a place of love and see myself and others for who we truly are. I’m tired of this density and this heaviness. That’s so unnecessary. And I’m not criticizing myself, or admonishing myself; I’m just knowing, because of experiences, of a better way to be. And when I do get sucked in, it’s usually because I have not been valued, or not been heard, or seen, or considered. That seems to be a primary sore spot in my psyche.

NEBADONIA: Recognition is the key. And recognition means to "re-cognize,"--to know again. And so you recognize: Here I am in my bubble of familiarity again. I’m getting caught in the same old trap. And it’s just this recognition that immediately begins to free you. So even though you may not be able to stop this process in your mind, of drawing up an indictment against this other person by thinking of a dozen very valid things as to why they are so despicable; still you realize that this is not truth itself. This is just a wounded ego struggling to regain its’ equilibrium.

For those times you feel so slighted, My son, ask yourself if perhaps you were leaning for support upon this person, and so when they were suddenly not there, you felt this sucking vacuum of falling, and felt self-righteously insulted or wounded that they were not there; they were slighting you. Take it to heart and ask yourself if there is some way you need to be more self-sufficient, and less needy in this circumstance?

Student: I was looking at that yesterday, or this past weekend, where I realized that there is this place within me that is seeking fulfillment, seeking expression, and it’s that place of love within me that wants to be expressed, and wants to nourish and nurture. And I realize that certain individuals are not there to meet that need, so I need to find another place to express that, to live that, to experience that, to fill it up in another way--instead of putting it all on one person, or two people. So I have come to recognize that--that my love can be channeled to various means.

NEBADONIA: This is the great challenge of loving without being possessive, loving without asking for or implying some specific response, loving as a kind of exuberance coming from a feeling of the 200-percent-ness of life that you just can’t contain. So love is a gift that does not even ask for recognition.

The secret here is to realize that in this exercise of your generosity of spirit, this alone is strengthening. This outpouring of generous love is strengthening in and of itself. It asks of you, or even demands of you--in terms of growth--to sustain it—you find the true source as to where this love is generated.

And it is not without. You can think of many sources--Divine sources--of this love that surrounds you, and yet They are right within you in terms of your own personal tapping into these sources--into Them. This is from the inside-out. And so to love in this way demands that you tune in all of Us, and really experience how bottomless this well is. And I think you also find, though again it may seem like a paradox, or even a contradiction, that when you love in this way, you get the greatest response, for there is within this other person the possibility of recognizing that this love they are receiving from you is not possessive. It’s not conditional. It’s not trying to bend them or shape them one way or another.

Just ask yourself, would you not respond yourself to this kind of love? This way you are doing your best to approach the Divine love--the Father who loves you so much that He created you with autonomy, even the freedom to deny Him. This is quite a challenge, I agree, but it’s the ultimate triumph of love. And it is truly what connects. This is the connection. This is what is holding everything together.

Student: And when I feel this missing or lacking now, it is that connection in the sense of expressing it outwardly, or connecting inwardly-to-outwardly, to….be creative with it.

NEBADONIA: Here, My son, I call your attention to what you started with this evening, a deep wisdom that suggests you do this from peacefulness, and a stillness.

Student: I do see the wisdom of that, and I feel like, as I said earlier, I desire to be more quiet, and more silent, and have less verbalization. And that’s how I was yesterday with people. I just didn’t want to speak. I just wanted to be there, and to come from that place of love. And it felt more authentic; it felt more real. And then they’re allowed--themselves, to be real.

NEBADONIA: Well, this is that spiritual outpouring of love that opens you to take them in, and see how this is appreciated, is it not? Listening is one of the most wonderful gifts, really hearing and seeing someone else fresh each time. All this takes enormous spirit, and strength, to let yourself subside and let them hold court for awhile, to be content and self-sufficient within yourself. (long pause) You see, I feel you trying it, even now.

STUDENT: Yes, I prefer to be from this place.

NEBADONIA: You know, My son, this is where it also takes faith. As in practicing your stillness, you don’t get discouraged that your mind is not very quickly just totally awake and calm. If you have faith, and you persist, it is like stillness. The kind of love you are seeking cannot be directly manifested, but with faith and perseverance and trust, it just slowly grows.

Student: But sometimes it feels so…so much like work, so much hard work to keep everything all balanced, and that equilibrium that You mentioned. It just seems such… (laughs) so tiresome sometimes. It would be nice just to experience that equanimity that I have read about from so many masters, to really taste and be nourished by life, as it was meant to be experienced.

It’s scary at times, because it seems like I’m just stripping away more and more of who I thought I was. It’s like when I mentioned, many months ago, "un-defining myself." These are times when my ego says, "What are you doing?" "Where are you going?" But I know, like, (laughs) I have to keep going forward.

NEBADONIA: Then you are knowing moments of really transcendent love, and calm, and joy. It’s constantly remembering to let go, to relax, to let these forces that you cannot command have an opportunity to swell forth on their own. That’s the real secret of the Masters. This is why it requires faith, and the deep feeling that there is something there called "spirit," that only asks for the chance to reveal itself.

When We suggest that you ask yourself, what does God want me to do, this is what you are doing. You are opening yourself to your higher consciousness, and to the Father Fragment within you, and giving this part of you a chance to speak, to reassure you that it is there, and this is the source. Then you let this flow through you, and out. This is what others recognize as the real thing. And, as you say, you are constantly letting go limited notions of who you are--which is just one definition of ego, the perception of yourself--and constantly discovering that you are always more than this mirror you are holding up in front of you. It is just letting that "more" speak through you.

Rest now, My son, you are trying to pick yourself up by your bootstraps, a bit. You’re trying to seize the paradox of letting go of yourself, and you have to realize the paradox has you. It is a process of just letting go and letting God--as you know so well. You just keep doing it. Don’t think you will ever be finished. If you were ever finished, you would cease to exist. You’ve got a part to play in all of this. So when you are woefully-soulfully tired, be still and give it all back to the One who got you into this situation to begin with. (said with a chuckle) And be in My Love!

Closing

NEBADONIA: Well, its been a fulfilling Halloween after all, though we don’t seem to have been hit upon by any ghosts and goblins this evening. I didn’t hear any knock at the door.

But I think you are experiencing now what all those saints who’ve gone before you experienced. This is what it is to be on a spiritual path, is to be deeply curious, and interested in all these peculiar, paradoxical, often conflicting elements that go to make you up.

This is where you need the confidence that there is a record being created of this spiritual experience. It is good when your personality can perceive and appreciate the very soul of it all. Something is growing here, My children--something enormous! And you are part of it. It is yet another connection, an ultimate love that gives you these lives, and then preserves them for you. We humbly thank our Father for His gifts, in the perception of their awesome enormity. Amen and good evening! Be in My Love.