Changes

Q: There is also something to be said for finding that outlet for [[frustration]]. For instance, your suggestion to me was to [[write]] in a [[journal]] whenever I became frustrated; and that really helps me because I don't [[think]] that we can prevent frustrating situations in this life. We're always going to have frustrating situations. But the [[point]] is, is to get those [[feelings]] out as quickly as possible so that you don't stifle that spiritual [[growth]].

Q: There is also something to be said for finding that outlet for [[frustration]]. For instance, your suggestion to me was to [[write]] in a [[journal]] whenever I became frustrated; and that really helps me because I don't [[think]] that we can prevent frustrating situations in this life. We're always going to have frustrating situations. But the [[point]] is, is to get those [[feelings]] out as quickly as possible so that you don't stifle that spiritual [[growth]].

===='''''[[Simplicity]]'''''====

===='''''[[Simplicity]]''''', '''''[[Priorities]]'''''====

A: But I [[understand]] Mark's situation to seem to be more [[intense]], that each day he begins anew, rededicating his will to [[the Father]], and by the time he retires with his [[prayers]], he constantly asks for [[forgiveness]] for the [[difficulties]], that which he may have said or done, that took him away from doing the will of [[the Father]]. You must [[decide]] for yourself what it is you [[wish]] to do to [[maintain]] your [[existence]] that will [[hopefully]] lend a hand, or at least not add to, the [[difficulties]] that you encounter in trying to find and live the will of [[the Father]] each day. I have said before and will say again: you make your lives too [[difficult]] for yourselves. Learn to live more [[simply]]. That does not give you much [[satisfaction]], does it? ([[laughter]])

A: But I [[understand]] Mark's situation to seem to be more [[intense]], that each day he begins anew, rededicating his will to [[the Father]], and by the time he retires with his [[prayers]], he constantly asks for [[forgiveness]] for the [[difficulties]], that which he may have said or done, that took him away from doing the will of [[the Father]]. You must [[decide]] for yourself what it is you [[wish]] to do to [[maintain]] your [[existence]] that will [[hopefully]] lend a hand, or at least not add to, the [[difficulties]] that you encounter in trying to find and live the will of [[the Father]] each day. I have said before and will say again: you make your lives too [[difficult]] for yourselves. Learn to live more [[simply]]. That does not give you much [[satisfaction]], does it? ([[laughter]])

Q: Yes.

Q: Yes.

A: But it is not easy, is it? For when you are actually engaged in the situation, and this person is trying to irritate you or makes comments that are so derogatory, your natural reaction is to take the defensive and to react, is it not? This is what I encourage you to overcome if you're going to maintain the position that you now have. Otherwise, my friend, you will continue to come home each night and ask for forgiveness; not that there is anything wrong with this, but again I go back to the premise: what is most important in your life? I feel as though sometimes you ask me these questions in order for me to respond specifically as to what you can say to an individual that might get them "off your back"? I'm glad someone found humor in that. (laughter)

A: But it is not easy, is it? For when you are actually [[engaged]] in the situation, and this [[person]] is trying to [[irritate]] you or makes comments that are so derogatory, your [[natural]] reaction is to take the defensive and to [[react]], is it not? This is what I [[encourage]] you to overcome if you're going to [[maintain]] the position that you now have. Otherwise, my [[friend]], you will continue to come [[home]] each night and ask for [[forgiveness]]; not that there is anything wrong with this, but again I go back to the premise: what is most important in your life? I [[feel]] as though sometimes you ask me these questions in order for me to [[respond]] specifically as to what you can say to an [[individual]] that might get them "off your back"? I'm glad someone found [[humor]] in that. ([[laughter]])

Q: No, that's not it at all. I think you know my situation and you're aware of it, and I feel like I am making progress in the situation, just by, as you say, trying each day to prevent them from getting my dander up. Maybe I do see that at this point as a challenge, and I want to try to at least master that before I make such a decision.

Q: No, that's not it at all. I think you know my situation and you're [[aware]] of it, and I [[feel]] like I am making [[progress]] in the situation, just by, as you say, trying each day to [[prevent]] them from getting my dander up. Maybe I do see that at this [[point]] as a [[challenge]], and I want to try to at least master that before I make such a [[decision]].

A: If you master it, then the possibility of moving on will be significantly reduced as long as you enjoy the actual work itself. But you see, these are the type of difficult situations that you must learn to turn into challenges, to turn into opportunities for spiritual growth, in order to really make the spiritual progress that you want. My point is, if you are finding yourself in a situation where the challenges are overwhelming, then you might consider removing yourself from such a difficult position and re- engage somewhere else. You will never have difficulty finding difficulties.

A: If you master it, then the [[possibility]] of moving on will be significantly reduced as long as you [[enjoy]] the actual [[work]] itself. But you see, these are the [[type]] of [[difficult]] situations that you must [[learn]] to turn into [[challenges]], to turn into [[opportunities]] for spiritual [[growth]], in order to really make the spiritual [[progress]] that you want. My point is, if you are finding yourself in a situation where the challenges are overwhelming, then you might consider removing yourself from such a [[difficult]] position and re- [[engage]] somewhere else. You will never have [[difficulty]] finding difficulties.

Q: Welmek, I think that's kind of the problem sometimes, in my life, having the wisdom to evaluate a situation in terms of the difficulties in advance, before you're into this. It seems to be a wisdom I don't have.

Q: Welmek, I [[think]] that's kind of the [[problem]] sometimes, in my life, having the [[wisdom]] to [[evaluate]] a situation in terms of the [[difficulties]] in advance, before you're into this. It seems to be a [[wisdom]] I don't have.

Q: Or when to get out or when to stay.

Q: Or when to get out or when to stay.

Q: Or how to see a situation before I choose it, the danger that's in it. I keep putting myself in positions that aren't healthy for my soul growth.

Q: Or how to see a situation before I [[choose]] it, the [[danger]] that's in it. I keep putting myself in positions that aren't [[healthy]] for my [[soul]] [[growth]].

A: But at the time, did you see them as not being healthy?

A: But at the time, did you see them as not being [[healthy]]?

Q: No.

Q: No.

A: Of course. It is by going through this process of learning that wisdom is achieved.

A: Of course. It is by going through this [[process]] of [[learning]] that [[wisdom]] is achieved.

Q: I feel I must be going around with blinders on because I don't seem to be doing a better job each time.

Q: I feel I must be going around with blinders on because I don't seem to be doing a better job each time.

A: And I can assure you you are not alone. Most humans do this.

A: And I can [[assure]] you you are not [[alone]]. Most [[humans]] do this.

Q: I think that's the question of to make the change before you have that wisdom, and you're not just going to set yourself up one more time. Yet I think repeated change for us is very stressful, as stressful sometimes as being in the situation. I think that probably leads into some decision-making.

Q: I [[think]] that's the [[question]] of to make the [[change]] before you have that [[wisdom]], and you're not just going to set yourself up one more time. Yet I [[think]] repeated change for us is very [[stress]]ful, as stressful sometimes as being in the situation. I [[think]] that probably [[leads]] into some [[decision]]-making.

A: Once again, the underlying question is: what is it that you wish to accomplish in this short life in the flesh? What is your primary objective? If it is to achieve a greater communication with the Father, then so be that and move forward accordingly. Your work is important. I would never suggest anything short of that. You must maintain your earthly existence. But on your planet, almost everyone that I have had an opportunity to associate with does not like what they do. As a result, they find the stress, they find the boredom, they find the tension, they find their co-workers so irritating, so frustrating, that it totally annihilates any spirit awareness that is in them. This must be overcome if you wish greater communication.

A: Once again, the underlying [[question]] is: what is it that you [[wish]] to accomplish in this short life in the [[flesh]]? What is your primary objective? If it is to [[achieve]] a greater [[communication]] with [[the Father]], then so be that and move forward accordingly. Your [[work]] is important. I would never suggest anything short of that. You must [[maintain]] your [[earthly]] [[existence]]. But on your planet, almost everyone that I have had an [[opportunity]] to [[associate]] with does not like what they do. As a result, they find the [[stress]], they find the [[boredom]], they find the [[tension]], they find their co-workers so [[irritating]], so frustrating, that it totally annihilates any [[spirit]] [[awareness]] that is in them. This must be overcome if you wish greater [[communication]].

Q: I guess I've liked every job I've had. I've run into problems in terms of team dynamics, but I chose my direction of work as a service direction and that's something that's important to me in my life. So I guess I don't see myself as one who clearly hates my work. I think for me it's been something of a timing situation, that the early jobs I had, I was in amongst people who were moving at the pace I was and we had some common ground that allowed us to work effectively as a team. Sometimes there's a lot of difference in expectation, background experience, aspects that cause conflict in the team situation; and my work is inherently a team situation. So I don't have control of a lot of pieces of a work situation.

Q: I guess I've liked every job I've had. I've run into problems in terms of team [[dynamics]], but I chose my direction of [[work]] as a [[service]] direction and that's something that's important to me in my life. So I guess I don't see myself as one who clearly [[hates]] my [[work]]. I [[think]] for me it's been something of a [[timing]] situation, that the early jobs I had, I was in amongst people who were moving at the [[pace]] I was and we had some common ground that allowed us to work [[effectively]] as a team. Sometimes there's a lot of [[difference]] in [[expectation]], background [[experience]], aspects that cause [[conflict]] in the team situation; and my work is inherently a team situation. So I don't have [[control]] of a lot of pieces of a work situation.

A: And most often, most of you do not. But nevertheless, does that change what it is you are trying to achieve in your life?

A: And most often, most of you do not. But nevertheless, does that [[change]] what it is you are trying to [[achieve]] in your life?

Q: No.

Q: No.

A: There are some things, once you recognize you cannot change, you simply accept. But by accepting this does not mean that you give in to the ways of thinking of your associates. You must always achieve to maintain this level of awareness and even beyond. Therefore, in your interaction with these people, do not be dragged down to their energy. Allow yourself to maintain your own, and hopefully, by example, they may be drawn to you and actually, in time, ask you questions. This may or may not happen. You will have to wait and see. But each time you allow yourself to get frustrated, to get down-hearted, you know what it does to you and you know what it takes in order to overcome it and to just get back to where you were before.

Q: One of the things that I did for myself as I am [[reading]] the [[Jesus papers]] now, I have [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_care child care] in my [[home]] and I know that I don't have to do that for the rest of my life. But I found myself, especially when [[this mission]] first began, really having a [[difficult]] time because I felt like everyone else was doing something that was much more important than what I was doing and I felt stuck. I was [[complaining]] and I was [[frustrated]] and all of these things. But then [[reading]] [[the Jesus papers]], everything that he did, he never [[complained]]. He did the task at hand and then moved on to the next. And the thing that I have [[realized]] is that my task at hand may last for two years, but two years out of my entire life is a minute. And so it made it easier, not that I don't have those days of [[frustration]] and complaining, but when I saw what [[Jesus]] did and how as a [[young man]] had to [[126:2 The Death of Joseph|take over the father position]] in his [[family]] and did it all without complaint, took [[responsibility]], it gave me more [[courage]] to face my life in the same way and try to find the [[good]] in every single day. I pray every [[morning]] that I will find the [[good]] in every single day. It does help, when you try to look at it from his [[perspective]].

Q: One of the things that I did for myself as I am reading the Jesus papers now, I have child care in my home and I know that I don't have to do that for the rest of my life. But I found myself, especially when this mission first began, really having a difficult time because I felt like everyone else was doing something that was much more important than what I was doing and I felt stuck. I was complaining and I was frustrated and all of these things. But then reading the Jesus papers, everything that he did, he never complained. He did the task at hand and then moved on to the next. And the thing that I have realized is that my task at hand may last for two years, but two years out of my entire life is a minute. And so it made it easier, not that I don't have those days of frustration and complaining, but when I saw what Jesus did and how as a young man had to take over the father position in his family and did it all without complaint, took responsibility, it gave me more courage to face my life in the same way and try to find the good in every single day. I pray every morning that I will find the good in every single day. It does help, when you try to look at it from his perspective.

A: And indeed, it is just that. It is a matter of [[perspective]]. The narrower your perspective, the more [[frustrated]] and [[anxious]] you become. The broader your perspective, the more [[love]]-filled you become. It's a matter of your [[desire]], your [[activity]], as to which [[perspective]] you [[wish]] to take on for yourself. It will not happen overnight. You must [[understand]] these things. You and I have been [[associated]] now for just over 4 months. This is not much [[time]]. The [[habits]] that you have [[developed]] over the years will take time to overcome. I have asked you to do things which you have not really on a [[consistent]] basis done before. Therefore, do not burden yourself terribly with the [[fact]] that you have not [[achieved]] that which you seek to achieve. Give yourself a break, yet don't let up, either. Always, each day, [[worship]] and re-[[dedicate]] yourself and do the best that you can. As we have said, that is all that is being asked of you.

Q: I have a question for Mark. I don't anything about your work situation or what your job is, but this refers in a way to something Welmek said a little while ago about getting to know ourselves. That's one of the [[functions]] of the [[teachers]]. In your [[reactions]] to your co-workers, are you maybe taking some things personally that are really not meant to be [[personal]]?

 

Q: I have a question for Mark. I don't anything about your work situation or what your job is, but this refers in a way to something Welmek said a little while ago about getting to know ourselves. That's one of the functions of the teachers. In your reactions to your co-workers, are you maybe taking some things personally that are really not meant to be personal?

Q: Perhaps.

Q: Perhaps.

Q: I say that because sometimes someone will yell at a person and it sounds like it's a personal attack almost, but it isn't. They're just frustrated themselves. If you know yourself, if you're being criticized for something, and you know in your heart for sure that you really don't deserve that,..I've always thought you can't be insulted unless you allow yourself to be. If you allow yourself to feel that that person's criticism is real, then you can get upset. But if you believe that their criticism of you is not based on reality, or refuse to take it personally, however, then it makes it easier for you to maintain control of yourself and avoid a lot of the negativity that you are experiencing. I don't know if that is the situation in your job.

Q: I say that because sometimes someone will yell at a [[person]] and it sounds like it's a personal [[attack]] almost, but it isn't. They're just [[frustrated]] themselves. If you know yourself, if you're being [[criticized]] for something, and you know in your [[heart]] for sure that you really don't deserve that,..I've always [[thought]] you can't be insulted unless you allow yourself to be. If you allow yourself to [[feel]] that that person's [[criticism]] is real, then you can get upset. But if you [[believe]] that their criticism of you is not based on [[reality]], or refuse to take it personally, however, then it makes it easier for you to [[maintain]] [[control]] of yourself and avoid a lot of the [[negativity]] that you are [[experiencing]]. I don't know if that is the situation in your job.

Q: I think that's true. But I think too, that I've gotten, I've made tremendous strides in not letting as many things bother me as did before. However, there are certain things..for instance, when you go through a divorce and emotional trauma like that, someone will make a comment like "Well, no wonder your wife left you." or something like that, I guess I'm just not to the point where I can let that kind of go in and out.

Q: I think that's true. But I think too, that I've gotten, I've made tremendous strides in not letting as many things bother me as did before. However, there are certain [[things]]..for instance, when you go through a [[divorce]] and [[emotional]] [[trauma]] like that, someone will make a comment like "Well, no [[wonder]] your [[wife]] left you." or something like that, I guess I'm just not to the [[point]] where I can let that kind of go in and out.

Q: Can you feel sorry for that person's lack of understanding?

Q: Can you feel [[sorry]] for that [[person]]'s lack of [[understanding]]?

Q: You feel sorry for them, yes, but at times it becomes, you simply lack the understanding of how they cannot feel or understand what they're saying and how much they lack love, they lack compassion, they lack all of the qualities that we are supposed to strive to achieve.

Q: You feel sorry for them, yes, but at times it becomes, you simply lack the [[understanding]] of how they cannot [[feel]] or understand what they're saying and how much they lack [[love]], they lack [[compassion]], they lack all of the [[qualities]] that we are [[supposed]] to strive to [[achieve]].

Q: They're putting salt in an open wound.

Q: They're putting salt in an open wound.

Q: Believe me, I have made great strides, I think, and of course, everyone has to deal with themselves, and like you say, maybe I'm getting to know myself better because of it, but I have made great strides in dealing with much of what is said and in fact finding and returning comments using humor because I seem to poke fun at a lot of things about life. Comments have been made that I should be a comedian, things like that, and I'm wondering if maybe that's part of the way I deal with people, situations, so that I don't resort to anger and those other things. But it amazes me how insensitive some people can be, even in jest.

Q: Believe me, I have made great strides, I think, and of course, everyone has to deal with themselves, and like you say, maybe I'm getting to know myself better because of it, but I have made great strides in dealing with much of what is said and in [[fact]] finding and returning comments using [[humor]] because I seem to poke fun at a lot of [[things]] about life. Comments have been made that I should be a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedian comedian], things like that, and I'm [[wondering]] if maybe that's part of the way I deal with people, situations, so that I don't resort to [[anger]] and those other things. But it [[amazes]] me how insensitive some people can be, even in jest.

Q: Mark, why don't you say, "Why are you being so insensitive?" Put it back on their shoulders, to have to explain their actions.

Q: Mark, why don't you say, "Why are you being so insensitive?" Put it back on their shoulders, to have to [[explain]] their [[actions]].

Q: Certain people simply lack the understanding. You're assuming that that person is capable or has any realization of what they've said means or...

Q: Certain people simply lack the [[understanding]]. You're [[assuming]] that that [[person]] is capable or has any [[realization]] of what they've said means or...

Q: But they might not understand it the first time, but they might the second time. This is what I've been doing to my sister-in-law. She came out the other day and called my husband a (*&*). Well, you know, he has problems; we all have problems. She doesn't understand, she never will understand. And so she called him that, and I said "Gee, Brenda, you finally got a compliment in there. Do you have any other compliments?" which meant for her to come up with something else. So every time she gives me one of these smart remarks, I just turn it back to her, "Gee, do you have another one?" It's caught her off-guard and she watches what she says anymore. The first time I did it she got mad. The second time I did it she tried to explain what she was trying to get across to me. The third time, she didn't ask any more.

Q: But they might not [[understand]] it the first time, but they might the second time. This is what I've been doing to my sister-in-law. She came out the other day and called my husband a (*&*). Well, you know, he has problems; we all have problems. She doesn't understand, she never will understand. And so she called him that, and I said "Gee, Brenda, you finally got a compliment in there. Do you have any other compliments?" which meant for her to come up with something else. So every time she gives me one of these smart remarks, I just turn it back to her, "Gee, do you have another one?" It's caught her off-guard and she watches what she says anymore. The first time I did it she got mad. The second time I did it she tried to explain what she was trying to get across to me. The third time, she didn't ask any more.

Q: Do you know, it seems that the people that I deal with, if you want a concerned reaction, or you want them to ask "Hey, did I say something wrong?" you have to respond with quiet anger, with a mood of non-reconciliation, in other words, avoidance. You just become cold towards them, and then they wonder "Did I say something wrong?" Why would it take that sort of reaction for them to . .."

Q: Do you know, it seems that the people that I deal with, if you want a concerned reaction, or you want them to ask "Hey, did I say something wrong?" you have to respond with quiet anger, with a mood of non-reconciliation, in other words, avoidance. You just become cold towards them, and then they wonder "Did I say something wrong?" Why would it take that sort of reaction for them to . .."