Changes

==Session==

==Session==

===Opening===

===Opening===

Ham: Greetings, children, I am Ham and again I welcome you each here this evening. Tonight, we shall discuss honesty.  

Ham: Greetings, children, I am Ham and again I welcome you each here this evening. Tonight, we shall discuss [[honesty]].  

===Lesson===

===Lesson===

Self-honesty is something which is very difficult for humans to achieve completely. There are always areas or aspects of one's personal behavior or life experience that are painful to examine. Human beings are very adept at avoiding these areas. It is easier to slough something off, to dismiss a comment without looking at it than it is to bring yourself to face those sides which are difficult to acknowledge.

Self-honesty is something which is very difficult for humans to [[achieve]] completely. There are always areas or aspects of one's personal [[behavior]] or life [[experience]] that are [[painful]] to [[examine]]. [[Human beings]] are very adept at avoiding these areas. It is easier to slough something off, to dismiss a comment without looking at it than it is to bring yourself to face those sides which are [[difficult]] to acknowledge.

Usually, these areas have pain at their center and so you will often do almost anything to avoid experiencing that pain including being dishonest with yourselves. It is hard to reveal our pain to ourselves and to acknowledge our weakness in the face of it. You also know that facing your inner pain and honestly acknowledging it to yourself is what is required to eliminate it. Most humans have a center of pain that is like a big black stone that you do not acknowledge, that you walk around and pretend it isn't there. Why is this stone there? Who put it there? The answers lie buried deep in your past, deep in your childhood experience.

Usually, these areas have [[pain]] at their center and so you will often do almost anything to avoid [[experiencing]] that pain including being dishonest with yourselves. It is hard to [[reveal]] our [[pain]] to ourselves and to acknowledge our weakness in the face of it. You also know that facing your inner pain and [[honestly]] acknowledging it to yourself is what is required to eliminate it. Most humans have a center of [[pain]] that is like a big black stone that you do not acknowledge, that you walk around and pretend it isn't there. Why is this stone there? Who put it there? The answers lie buried deep in your [[past]], deep in your [[childhood]] experience.

Usually, the dishonestly comes in a form that says, "I do not have this pain, it is not a part of me and I do not have to deal with it, especially not now. I am fine and there is no problem." Even though this pain causes you to do things you wouldn't normally do, but when you get near the pain you must go around it and how people go around it varies and varies in different situations. Sometimes it's an inability to admit that you might be wrong, sometimes its an inappropriate lashing out at another person, sometimes it's just stubbornness and the need to control your environment, sometimes it's the begging for attention, especially attention from strangers. Often times, human beings turn to drugs or alcohol and then the inappropriate behavior is excusable. So, at the center of this is pain, and the fear of pain is causing you to distort your personality. Human beings have a very difficult time admitting to weakness. If you admit you have pain, you admit you are weak.

Usually, the dishonestly comes in a form that says, "I do not have this [[pain]], it is not a part of me and I do not have to deal with it, especially not now. I am fine and there is no [[problem]]." Even though this pain causes you to do things you wouldn't normally do, but when you get near the pain you must go around it and how people go around it varies and varies in [[different]] situations. Sometimes it's an inability to admit that you might be wrong, sometimes its an inappropriate lashing out at another person, sometimes it's just stubbornness and the need to [[control]] your [[environment]], sometimes it's the begging for [[attention]], especially attention from [[strangers]]. Often times, human beings turn to [[drugs]] or [[alcohol]] and then the inappropriate [[behavior]] is excusable. So, at the center of this is [[pain]], and the fear of pain is causing you to [[distort]] your [[personality]]. Human beings have a very difficult time admitting to [[weakness]]. If you admit you have pain, you admit you are [[weak]].

Most human beings were reared in home environments that were not completely loving and were not completely supportive. So you grew up feeling a painful need for something and since that need wasn't fulfilled you feel you are undeserving and this is very deep, this feeling of insecurity with who you are. So, early on as children, you learned to deny that that pain and that need was there. You were not given the option of bonding your inner self, your innermost being, with the Father in heaven who is all love and all forgiveness and all supporting. You simply felt that if you didn't receive the love you craved in the home, that you must bury that need and try to forget about it. And, most of you have done this since grade school.But, you are given this special core need for love especially so that you can connect your being with the Father's loving spirit who dwells within you. He is constantly working to release than inner center. It is an essential part of soul creation. You remember that you morontia soul is created through your physical being and mind as it is joined with your divine inner spirit and his greater mind and being. He can loosen the inner painful areas, he can bring you into situations where you must acknowledge them, but it is only for you to release this pain and let it be obliterated in the Father's love.

Most human beings were reared in [[home]] environments that were not completely loving and were not completely [[supportive]]. So you grew up [[feeling]] a painful need for something and since that need wasn't fulfilled you feel you are undeserving and this is very deep, this feeling of insecurity with who you are. So, early on as [[children]], you learned to deny that that [[pain]] and that need was there. You were not given the [[option]] of bonding your inner [[self]], your innermost [[being]], with [[the Father]] in heaven who is all [[love]] and all [[forgiveness]] and all supporting. You simply felt that if you didn't receive the love you craved in the [[home]], that you must [[bury]] that need and try to forget about it. And, most of you have done this since grade school.But, you are given this special core need for love especially so that you can connect your being with [[the Father]]'s loving spirit who dwells within you. He is constantly working to release than inner center. It is an [[essential]] part of [[soul]] creation. You remember that you [[morontia soul]] is created through your [[physical]] being and mind as it is joined with your [[Ta|divine inner spirit]] and his greater mind and being. He can loosen the inner painful areas, he can bring you into situations where you must acknowledge them, but it is only for you to release this [[pain]] and let it be obliterated in [[the Father]]'s love.

We have focused for several weeks on reaching up to the Father and making this a conscious effort. As the Father reaches down to you, it is largely outside the realm of your consciousness. So, as he is loosening these painful rocks, these areas of denial, it can suddenly spring into consciousness that these areas are even there because remember that you have decided that they weren't and have lived your life accordingly for many years. The sudden up-welling of an inner pain can be quite disconcerting. But, what you are seeing is the culmination of the Father's inner work on you behalf.

We have [[focused]] for several weeks on reaching up to t[[he Father]] and making this a [[conscious]] effort. As the Father reaches down to you, it is largely outside the realm of your [[consciousness]]. So, as he is loosening these [[painful]] rocks, these areas of [[denial]], it can suddenly spring into [[consciousness]] that these areas are even there because remember that you have decided that they weren't and have lived your life accordingly for many years. The sudden up-welling of an inner pain can be quite disconcerting. But, what you are seeing is the [[culmination]] of the Father's inner work on you behalf.

Remember that the Father wants to connect every bit of himself to every bit of yourself. But, this must be eventually conscious so when you are in denial about something, you are consciously blocking that connection between you and the Father, or even unconsciously, for eventually these things are buried deep within the conscious mind.

[[Remember]] that [[the Father]] wants to connect every bit of himself to every bit of yourself. But, this must be [[eventually]] conscious so when you are in denial about something, you are consciously [[blocking]] that connection between you and the Father, or even unconsciously, for [[eventually]] these things are buried deep within the conscious [[mind]].

Most of you have established yourselves in the world. You have connections and reputations to uphold. When you let go of this inner core pain, you must acknowledge two things. One is that "I am weak". Two is that "I am nothing of myself". When you really do this and you let go of the facade of who you pretend to be and realize that yes, there really is nothing else this is a freeing and liberating experience after the pain has passed. Because if you can say, "I am really nothing but that's ok". You let go of all the expectations you have of yourself, all the roles you have to play, all the people you have to please, everything. You are just in a state of beingness with God, as if there were only the two of you in the universe.

Most of you have established yourselves in the world. You have [[connections]] and [[reputations]] to uphold. When you let go of this inner core [[pain]], you must acknowledge two things. One is that "I am [[weak]]". Two is that "I am nothing of myself". When you really do this and you let go of the [[facade]] of who you pretend to be and realize that yes, there really is nothing else this is a freeing and liberating [[experience]] after the [[pain]] has passed. Because if you can say, "I am really nothing but that's ok". You let go of all the [[expectations]] you have of yourself, all the [[roles]] you have to [[play]], all the people you have to please, everything. You are just in a state of beingness with God, as if there were only the two of you in [[the universe]].

Truly, it is that everything you have and everything you are is of God. Everything that is real is from him. Everything that is not real, is from you. Human beings early on in early childhood make decisions about who they are. You might make the decision, "I am shy" or "I am a clown", or "I am no good". All these things are decisions you made as a child. As an adult, you must let go of the childish things and go back to "I am nothing, but it's OK".Are there any questions at this time?

Truly, it is that everything you have and [[everything]] you are is of [[God]]. Everything that is real is from him. Everything that is not real, is from you. [[Human being]]s early on in early [[childhood]] make [[decisions]] about who they are. You might make the decision, "I am [[shy]]" or "I am a [[clown]]", or "I am no [[good]]". All these things are [[decisions]] you made as a child. As an adult, you must let go of the childish things and go back to "I am nothing, but it's OK".Are there any questions at this time?

===Dialogue===

===Dialogue===

Q: When you say we are nothing, but it's ok, I take it that we are nothing without God and that's OK.

Q: When you say we are nothing, but it's ok, I take it that we are nothing without [[God]] and that's OK.

Ham: Yes.

Ham: Yes.

Q: This inner pain of which you speak, can you be specific about how we are to lose it other than identifying it?

Q: This inner [[pain]] of which you speak, can you be specific about how we are to lose it other than identifying it?

Ham: Really, identifying it is your only job and it will come out by itself when the Father feels you are ready, you can do this with him. Just acknowledging that you have pain, has to come when you are ready to experience it. Then, once you do you will realize that it wasn't all that bad and you have been carrying around a big dark stone for many years unnecessarily. When you get through those core pains, there is a feeling of great relief, joy, and lightness and many possibilities open up that were blocked before. In essence you become more of who you really are.

Ham: Really, identifying it is your only job and it will come out by itself when [[the Father]] feels you are ready, you can do this with him. Just acknowledging that you have [[pain]], has to come when you are ready to [[experience]] it. Then, once you do you will realize that it wasn't all that bad and you have been carrying around a big dark stone for many years unnecessarily. When you get through those core pains, there is a [[feeling]] of great relief, joy, and lightness and many [[possibilities]] open up that were [[blocked]] before. In [[essence]] you become more of who you really are.

Q: Yes, lately I have been when meditating trying to find feelings like anger and resentment and put them in a bucket and hand them off and say here you take care of this. Is this a way to eventually find this pain?

Q: Yes, lately I have been when [[meditating]] trying to find [[feelings]] like [[anger]] and [[resentment]] and put them in a bucket and hand them off and say here you take [[care]] of this. Is this a way to [[eventually]] find this [[pain]]?

Ham: Absolutely, yes.

Ham: Absolutely, yes.

Q: it makes me wonder where I am in that process Ham?

Q: it makes me [[wonder]] where I am in that [[process]] Ham?

Ham: Well, all of you have many levels and as you release the pain in one level, you feel very relieved and light and joyous. Then a few months later, it surfaces again on an even deeper level. So, this is more of a continuing process than it is something that is done and over with and that will never recur. You are doing very well son. There are still some deep levels that you haven't acknowledged, of course, as there are in all of you. But, this will come in its time and none of you should feel as if you have to hurry, this is a process that takes time.

Ham: Well, all of you have many levels and as you release the [[pain]] in one level, you feel very relieved and light and [[joyous]]. Then a few months later, it surfaces again on an even deeper level. So, this is more of a continuing [[process]] than it is something that is done and over with and that will never recur. You are doing very well son. There are still some deep levels that you haven't acknowledged, of course, as there are in all of you. But, this will come in its [[time]] and none of you should feel as if you have to hurry, this is a process that takes [[time]].

Q: It sounds like to me you are saying its new levels of the same old wound?Ham: Yes.

Q: It sounds like to me you are saying its new levels of the same old [[wound]]?

Ham: Last week our lesson was on and you turned it to the group and you asked us each to talk about our particular poison. What was our obstacle to being free enough to connect to the Father. Is this core stone or stones of pain related to the obstacle that we were talking about last week that we were trying to get at.

 

Ham: Last week our lesson was on and you turned it to the [[group]] and you asked us each to talk about our particular [[poison]]. What was our [[obstacle]] to being free enough to connect to [[the Father]]. Is this core stone or stones of pain related to the obstacle that we were talking about last week that we were trying to get at.

Very good this is an astute observation my daughter.

Very good this is an astute [[observation]] my daughter.

You often speak of these things as being instilled in us as children largely by our parents, are there not other factors or is this strictly a familial phenomenon.

You often speak of these things as being instilled in us as children largely by our [[parents]], are there not other [[factors]] or is this strictly a familial phenomenon.

Ham: No, it is not strictly confined to the family. But, of course most early experience is family connected and these early experiences form so much of the foundation on which you build later, throughout your life. So, when the foundation is faulty, it is that which needs to be cleansed or corrected and this changes everything else that is built upon it. Is this helping your understanding?

Ham: No, it is not strictly confined to the [[family]]. But, of course most early [[experience]] is family connected and these early experiences form so much of the [[foundation]] on which you build later, throughout your [[life]]. So, when the foundation is faulty, it is that which needs to be cleansed or [[corrected]] and this changes everything else that is built upon it. Is this helping your understanding?

Q: Yes. I just wonder if we bring in any predilections or if we are blank slates that these things are worked on?

Q: Yes. I just wonder if we bring in any predilections or if we are blank slates that these things are worked on?

Ham: No, you bring predilections. All little children, babies, are sensitive to their environment, but they are all sensitive in slightly different ways. So, when you were born, you brought with you the certain character substrates and as these react with the environment, with the family home, you begin the process of character development. But, personality is that uniqueness that is unchanging underlying it all. Is this helping?

Ham: No, you bring predilections. All little children, babies, are [[sensitive]] to their environment, but they are all sensitive in slightly [[different]] ways. So, when you were born, you brought with you the certain [[character]] substrates and as these react with the environment, with the [[family]] [[home]], you begin the process of [[character]] development. But, personality is that uniqueness that is unchanging underlying it all. Is this helping?

Q: Yes, this is definitely broadening my scope.

Q: Yes, this is definitely broadening my scope.