Changes

==83:7. THE DISSOLUTION OF WEDLOCK==

==83:7. THE DISSOLUTION OF WEDLOCK==

83:7.1 In the early evolution of the marital mores, marriage was a loose union which could be terminated at will, and the children always followed the mother; the mother-child bond is instinctive and has functioned regardless of the developmental stage of the mores.

83:7.1 In the early [[evolution]] of the marital [[mores]], marriage was a loose [[union]] which could be terminated at will, and the [[children]] always followed the [[mother]]; the mother-child bond is [[instinctive]] and has [[functioned]] regardless of the [[developmental]] [[stage]] of the [[mores]].

83:7.2 Among primitive peoples only about one half the marriages proved satisfactory. The most frequent cause for separation was barrenness, which was always blamed on the wife; and childless wives were believed to become snakes in the spirit world. Under the more primitive mores, divorce was had at the option of the man alone, and these standards have persisted to the twentieth century among some peoples.

83:7.2 Among [[primitive]] peoples only about one half the marriages proved satisfactory. The most frequent [[cause]] for separation was barrenness, which was always blamed on the [[wife]]; and childless wives were believed to become snakes in the [[spirit]] world. Under the more [[primitive]] [[mores]], [[divorce]] was had at the [[option]] of the man alone, and these [[standards]] have [[persisted]] to the twentieth century among some peoples.

83:7.3 As the mores evolved, certain tribes developed two forms of marriage: the ordinary, which permitted divorce, and the priest marriage, which did not allow for separation. The inauguration of wife purchase and wife dowry, by introducing a property penalty for marriage failure, did much to lessen separation. And, indeed, many modern unions are stabilized by this ancient property factor.

83:7.3 As the [[mores]] evolved, certain [[tribes]] [[developed]] two forms of marriage: the ordinary, which permitted [[divorce]], and the [[priest]] marriage, which did not allow for separation. The [[inauguration]] of wife purchase and wife [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dowry dowry], by introducing a [[property]] penalty for marriage failure, did much to lessen separation. And, indeed, many [[modern]] [[unions]] are [[stabilized]] by this [[ancient]] [[property]] [[factor]].

83:7.4 The social pressure of community standing and property privileges has always been potent in the maintenance of the marriage taboos and mores. Down through the ages marriage has made steady progress and stands on advanced ground in the modern world, notwithstanding that it is threateningly assailed by widespread dissatisfaction among those peoples where individual choice—a new liberty—figures most largely. While these upheavals of adjustment appear among the more progressive races as a result of suddenly accelerated social evolution, among the less advanced peoples marriage continues to thrive and slowly improve under the guidance of the older mores.

83:7.4 The [[social]] [[pressure]] of [[community]] standing and [[property]] [[privileges]] has always been potent in the [[maintenance]] of the marriage [[taboos]] and [[mores]]. Down through the ages marriage has made steady [[progress]] and stands on advanced ground in the [[modern]] world, notwithstanding that it is threateningly assailed by widespread dissatisfaction among those peoples where [[individual]] [[choice]]—a new [[liberty]]—figures most largely. While these upheavals of [[adjustment]] appear among the more [[progressive]] races as a result of suddenly [[accelerated]] [[social]] [[evolution]], among the less advanced peoples marriage continues to thrive and slowly improve under the [[guidance]] of the older [[mores]].

83:7.5 The new and sudden substitution of the more ideal but extremely individualistic love motive in marriage for the older and long-established property motive, has unavoidably caused the marriage institution to become temporarily unstable. Man's marriage motives have always far transcended actual marriage morals, and in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries the Occidental ideal of marriage has suddenly far outrun the self-centered and but partially controlled sex impulses of the races. The presence of large numbers of unmarried persons in any society indicates the temporary breakdown or the transition of the mores.

83:7.5 The new and sudden substitution of the more [[ideal]] but extremely [[individualistic]] [[love]] [[motive]] in marriage for the older and long-[[established]] [[property]] motive, has unavoidably caused the marriage [[institution]] to become temporarily unstable. Man's marriage [[motives]] have always far [[transcended]] actual marriage [[morals]], and in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occident Occidental] [[ideal]] of marriage has suddenly far outrun the [[self]]-[[centered]] and but partially [[controlled]] [[sex]] impulses of the races. The [[presence]] of large numbers of unmarried [[persons]] in any [[society]] indicates the temporary breakdown or the [[transition]] of the [[mores]].

83:7.6 The real test of marriage, all down through the ages, has been that continuous intimacy which is inescapable in all family life. Two pampered and spoiled youths, educated to expect every indulgence and full gratification of vanity and ego, can hardly hope to make a great success of marriage and home building—a life-long partnership of self-effacement, compromise, devotion, and unselfish dedication to child culture.

83:7.6 The real test of marriage, all down through the ages, has been that [[continuous]] [[intimacy]] which is inescapable in all [[family]] life. Two pampered and spoiled [[youths]], [[educated]] to expect every indulgence and full [[gratification]] of [[vanity]] and [[ego]], can hardly [[hope]] to make a great success of marriage and [[home]] building—a life-long [[partnership]] of self-effacement, [[compromise]], [[devotion]], and unselfish [[dedication]] to child [[culture]].

83:7.7 The high degree of imagination and fantastic romance entering into courtship is largely responsible for the increasing divorce tendencies among modern Occidental peoples, all of which is further complicated by woman's greater personal freedom and increased economic liberty. Easy divorce, when the result of lack of self-control or failure of normal personality adjustment, only leads directly back to those crude societal stages from which man has emerged so recently and as the result of so much personal anguish and racial suffering.

83:7.7 The high [[degree]] of [[imagination]] and fantastic [[romance]] entering into [[courtship]] is largely [[responsible]] for the increasing [[divorce]] [[tendencies]] among [[modern]] [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occident Occidental} peoples, all of which is further complicated by [[woman]]'s greater [[personal]] [[freedom]] and increased [[economic]] [[liberty]]. Easy [[divorce]], when the result of lack of [[self]]-[[control]] or failure of [[normal]] [[personality]] [[adjustment]], only leads directly back to those crude societal [[stages]] from which man has emerged so recently and as the result of so much [[personal]] anguish and racial [[suffering]].

83:7.8 But just so long as society fails to properly educate children and youths, so long as the social order fails to provide adequate premarital training, and so long as unwise and immature youthful idealism is to be the arbiter of the entrance upon marriage, just so long will divorce remain prevalent. And in so far as the social group falls short of providing marriage preparation for youths, to that extent must divorce function as the social safety valve which prevents still worse situations during the ages of the rapid growth of the evolving mores.

83:7.8 But just so long as [[society]] fails to properly [[educate]] [[children]] and [[youths]], so long as the [[social]] order fails to provide adequate premarital [[training]], and so long as unwise and immature youthful [[idealism]] is to be the arbiter of the entrance upon marriage, just so long will [[divorce]] remain prevalent. And in so far as the [[social]] [[group]] falls short of providing marriage [[preparation]] for [[youths]], to that extent must divorce [[function]] as the social safety valve which prevents still worse situations during the ages of the rapid [[growth]] of the evolving [[mores]].

83:7.9 The ancients seem to have regarded marriage just about as seriously as some present-day people do. And it does not appear that many of the hasty and unsuccessful marriages of modern times are much of an improvement over the ancient practices of qualifying young men and women for mating. The great inconsistency of modern society is to exalt love and to idealize marriage while disapproving of the fullest examination of both.

83:7.9 The [[ancients]] seem to have regarded marriage just about as seriously as some present-day people do. And it does not [[appear]] that many of the hasty and unsuccessful marriages of [[modern]] times are much of an improvement over the ancient [[practices]] of qualifying young [[men]] and [[women]] for [[mating]]. The great inconsistency of [[modern]] [[society]] is to exalt [[love]] and to [[idealize]] marriage while disapproving of the fullest [[examination]] of both.

==83:8. THE IDEALIZATION OF MARRIAGE==

==83:8. THE IDEALIZATION OF MARRIAGE==