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== General definition of romantic love ==

== General definition of romantic love ==

=== Within a relationship ===  

=== Within a relationship ===  

'''Romantic love''' is a |relative term, that distinguishes moments and situations within interpersonal relationships. There is often, initially, more emphasis on the feelings (especially those of love, [[intimacy]], compassion, appreciation, and general "liking") rather than physical pleasure. But, romantic love, in the abstract sense of the term, is traditionally referred to as involving a mix of emotional and sexual desire for another as a [[person]]. However sexual desire and romantic love can be functionally independent [http://www.psych.utah.edu/people/faculty/diamond/Publications/Emerging%20Perspectives.pdf] and also, as an additional claim to the topic, that romantic love is not intrinsically oriented to same-gender or other-gender partners; and that the links between love and desire are bidirectional as opposed to unilateral.  

'''Romantic love''' is a |relative term, that distinguishes moments and situations within interpersonal relationships. There is often, initially, more emphasis on the feelings (especially those of love, [[intimacy]], compassion, appreciation, and general "liking") rather than physical pleasure. But, romantic love, in the abstract sense of the term, is traditionally referred to as involving a mix of emotional and sexual desire for another as a [[person]]. However sexual desire and romantic love can be functionally independent [https://www.psych.utah.edu/people/faculty/diamond/Publications/Emerging%20Perspectives.pdf] and also, as an additional claim to the topic, that romantic love is not intrinsically oriented to same-gender or other-gender partners; and that the links between love and desire are bidirectional as opposed to unilateral.  

Furthermore, one's sex has priority over another sex in romantic love, and seems to purport the idea that it is possible for someone who is [[homosexual]] to fall in love with someone of the same gender, and for someone who is [[heterosexual]] to fall in love with someone of a different gender. [http://www.psych.utah.edu/people/faculty/diamond/Publications/What%20does%20Sexual%20Orientation%20Orient.pdf]

Furthermore, one's sex has priority over another sex in romantic love, and seems to purport the idea that it is possible for someone who is [[homosexual]] to fall in love with someone of the same gender, and for someone who is [[heterosexual]] to fall in love with someone of a different gender. [https://www.psych.utah.edu/people/faculty/diamond/Publications/What%20does%20Sexual%20Orientation%20Orient.pdf]

If one thinks of romantic love not as simply erotic freedom and expression, but as a breaking of that expression from a prescribed custom, romantic love is modern. There may have been a tension in primitive societies between [[marriage]] and the erotic, but this was mostly expressed in taboos regarding the menstrual cycle and birth.

If one thinks of romantic love not as simply erotic freedom and expression, but as a breaking of that expression from a prescribed custom, romantic love is modern. There may have been a tension in primitive societies between [[marriage]] and the erotic, but this was mostly expressed in taboos regarding the menstrual cycle and birth.

--Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II </blockquote>

--Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II </blockquote>

Romantic love, however, may also be classified according to two categories, "popular romance" and "[[divine]]"(or "[[spiritual]]") romance. '''Popular romance''' may include but is not limited to the following types: [[ideal]]istic, normal intense (such as the emotional aspect of "falling in love"), predictable as well as unpredictable, consuming (meaning consuming of time, energy and emotional withdrawals and bids), intense but out of control (such as the aspect of "falling out of love") material and commercial (such as societal gain mentioned in a later section of this article), physical and sexual, and finally grand and demonstrative. '''Divine (or spiritual) romance''' may include, but is not limited to these following types: realistic, as well as plausible unrealistic, optimistic as well as pessimistic (depending upon the particular beliefs held by each person within the relationship.), abiding (e.g. the theory that each person had a predetermined stance as an agent of choice; such as "choosing a husband" or "choosing a soul mate."), non-abiding (e.g. the theory that we do not choose our actions, and therefore our romantic love involvement has been drawn from sources outside of ourselves), predictable as well as unpredictable, self control (such as obedience and sacrifice within the context of the relationship) or lack thereof (such as disobedience within the context of the relationship), emotional and personal, soulful (in the theory that the [[mind]], [[soul]], and [[body]], are one connected entity), [[intimate]], and infinite (such as the idea that love itself or the love of a [[god]] or God's "unconditional" love is or could be everlasting, if particular [[belief]]s were, in fact, true.)[http://ce.byu.edu/cw/cwfamily/archives/2003/Carroll.Jason.pdf]

Romantic love, however, may also be classified according to two categories, "popular romance" and "[[divine]]"(or "[[spiritual]]") romance. '''Popular romance''' may include but is not limited to the following types: [[ideal]]istic, normal intense (such as the emotional aspect of "falling in love"), predictable as well as unpredictable, consuming (meaning consuming of time, energy and emotional withdrawals and bids), intense but out of control (such as the aspect of "falling out of love") material and commercial (such as societal gain mentioned in a later section of this article), physical and sexual, and finally grand and demonstrative. '''Divine (or spiritual) romance''' may include, but is not limited to these following types: realistic, as well as plausible unrealistic, optimistic as well as pessimistic (depending upon the particular beliefs held by each person within the relationship.), abiding (e.g. the theory that each person had a predetermined stance as an agent of choice; such as "choosing a husband" or "choosing a soul mate."), non-abiding (e.g. the theory that we do not choose our actions, and therefore our romantic love involvement has been drawn from sources outside of ourselves), predictable as well as unpredictable, self control (such as obedience and sacrifice within the context of the relationship) or lack thereof (such as disobedience within the context of the relationship), emotional and personal, soulful (in the theory that the [[mind]], [[soul]], and [[body]], are one connected entity), [[intimate]], and infinite (such as the idea that love itself or the love of a [[god]] or God's "unconditional" love is or could be everlasting, if particular [[belief]]s were, in fact, true.)[https://ce.byu.edu/cw/cwfamily/archives/2003/Carroll.Jason.pdf]

=== Historical definition of romantic love ===

=== Historical definition of romantic love ===

The concept of romantic love was popularized in Western culture by the game of courtly love. [[Troubadours]] in the [[Middle Ages]] engaged in (usually extramarital) trysts with women as a game created for fun - and not for [[marriage]]. Since at the time marriage had little to do with love [http://www.middle-ages.org.uk/courtly-love.htm Middle Ages.com - Courtly Love], courtly love was a way for people to express the love not found in their marriage. [http://www.wsu.edu/~delahoyd/medieval/love.html Courly Love and the origins of romance] "Lovers" in the [[context]] of courtly love did not refer to [[sex]], but rather the act of emotional loving. These "lovers" had short trysts in secret, which escalated mentally, but never physically. [http://employees.oneonta.edu/farberas/ARTH/arth214_folder/courtly_love_.html A History of Women: Silences of the Middle Ages] Rules of the game were even codified. For example, [[De amore]] (or ''The Art of Courtly Love'', as it is known in English) written in the 12th century lists such rules as "''Marriage is no real excuse for not loving''", "''He who is not jealous cannot love''", "''No one can be bound by a double love''", and "''When made public love rarely endures''".[http://www.astro.umd.edu/~marshall/chivalry.html The Art of Courtly Love by Andreas Capellanus]

The concept of romantic love was popularized in Western culture by the game of courtly love. [[Troubadours]] in the [[Middle Ages]] engaged in (usually extramarital) trysts with women as a game created for fun - and not for [[marriage]]. Since at the time marriage had little to do with love [https://www.middle-ages.org.uk/courtly-love.htm Middle Ages.com - Courtly Love], courtly love was a way for people to express the love not found in their marriage. [https://www.wsu.edu/~delahoyd/medieval/love.html Courly Love and the origins of romance] "Lovers" in the [[context]] of courtly love did not refer to [[sex]], but rather the act of emotional loving. These "lovers" had short trysts in secret, which escalated mentally, but never physically. [https://employees.oneonta.edu/farberas/ARTH/arth214_folder/courtly_love_.html A History of Women: Silences of the Middle Ages] Rules of the game were even codified. For example, [[De amore]] (or ''The Art of Courtly Love'', as it is known in English) written in the 12th century lists such rules as "''Marriage is no real excuse for not loving''", "''He who is not jealous cannot love''", "''No one can be bound by a double love''", and "''When made public love rarely endures''".[https://www.astro.umd.edu/~marshall/chivalry.html The Art of Courtly Love by Andreas Capellanus]

Some believe that romantic love evolved independently in multiple cultures. For example, in an article presented by Henry Gruenbaum, he argues "''therapists mistakenly believe that romantic love is a [[phenomenon]] unique to Western cultures and first expressed by the troubadours of the Middle Ages''".  

Some believe that romantic love evolved independently in multiple cultures. For example, in an article presented by Henry Gruenbaum, he argues "''therapists mistakenly believe that romantic love is a [[phenomenon]] unique to Western cultures and first expressed by the troubadours of the Middle Ages''".  

*Denis de Rougemont, ''Love in the Western World.'' Pantheon Books, 1956.

*Denis de Rougemont, ''Love in the Western World.'' Pantheon Books, 1956.

*Francesco Alberoni, ''Falling in love'', New York, Random House, 1983.

*Francesco Alberoni, ''Falling in love'', New York, Random House, 1983.

*[http://www.falling-out-oflove.com Brain Chemicals of Romance] How brain chemicals define the stages of love.

*[https://www.falling-out-oflove.com Brain Chemicals of Romance] How brain chemicals define the stages of love.

*Brad Hayden, "falling in love" Canada, Random place, 2007 Made possible by Cora-lee Reid.

*Brad Hayden, "falling in love" Canada, Random place, 2007 Made possible by Cora-lee Reid.