Changes

Most human beings were reared in [[home]] environments that were not completely loving and were not completely [[supportive]]. So you grew up [[feeling]] a painful need for something and since that need wasn't fulfilled you feel you are undeserving and this is very deep, this feeling of insecurity with who you are. So, early on as [[children]], you learned to deny that that [[pain]] and that need was there. You were not given the [[option]] of bonding your inner [[self]], your innermost [[being]], with [[the Father]] in heaven who is all [[love]] and all [[forgiveness]] and all supporting. You simply felt that if you didn't receive the love you craved in the [[home]], that you must [[bury]] that need and try to forget about it. And, most of you have done this since grade school.But, you are given this special core need for love especially so that you can connect your being with [[the Father]]'s loving spirit who dwells within you. He is constantly working to release than inner center. It is an [[essential]] part of [[soul]] creation. You remember that you [[morontia soul]] is created through your [[physical]] being and mind as it is joined with your [[Ta|divine inner spirit]] and his greater mind and being. He can loosen the inner painful areas, he can bring you into situations where you must acknowledge them, but it is only for you to release this [[pain]] and let it be obliterated in [[the Father]]'s love.

Most human beings were reared in [[home]] environments that were not completely loving and were not completely [[supportive]]. So you grew up [[feeling]] a painful need for something and since that need wasn't fulfilled you feel you are undeserving and this is very deep, this feeling of insecurity with who you are. So, early on as [[children]], you learned to deny that that [[pain]] and that need was there. You were not given the [[option]] of bonding your inner [[self]], your innermost [[being]], with [[the Father]] in heaven who is all [[love]] and all [[forgiveness]] and all supporting. You simply felt that if you didn't receive the love you craved in the [[home]], that you must [[bury]] that need and try to forget about it. And, most of you have done this since grade school.But, you are given this special core need for love especially so that you can connect your being with [[the Father]]'s loving spirit who dwells within you. He is constantly working to release than inner center. It is an [[essential]] part of [[soul]] creation. You remember that you [[morontia soul]] is created through your [[physical]] being and mind as it is joined with your [[Ta|divine inner spirit]] and his greater mind and being. He can loosen the inner painful areas, he can bring you into situations where you must acknowledge them, but it is only for you to release this [[pain]] and let it be obliterated in [[the Father]]'s love.

We have [[focused]] for several weeks on reaching up to t[[he Father]] and making this a [[conscious]] effort. As the Father reaches down to you, it is largely outside the realm of your [[consciousness]]. So, as he is loosening these [[painful]] rocks, these areas of [[denial]], it can suddenly spring into [[consciousness]] that these areas are even there because remember that you have decided that they weren't and have lived your life accordingly for many years. The sudden up-welling of an inner pain can be quite disconcerting. But, what you are seeing is the [[culmination]] of the Father's inner work on you behalf.

We have [[focused]] for several weeks on reaching up to [[the Father]] and making this a [[conscious]] effort. As the Father reaches down to you, it is largely outside the realm of your [[consciousness]]. So, as he is loosening these [[painful]] rocks, these areas of [[denial]], it can suddenly spring into [[consciousness]] that these areas are even there because remember that you have decided that they weren't and have lived your life accordingly for many years. The sudden up-welling of an inner pain can be quite disconcerting. But, what you are seeing is the [[culmination]] of the Father's inner work on you behalf.

[[Remember]] that [[the Father]] wants to connect every bit of himself to every bit of yourself. But, this must be [[eventually]] conscious so when you are in denial about something, you are consciously [[blocking]] that connection between you and the Father, or even unconsciously, for [[eventually]] these things are buried deep within the conscious [[mind]].

[[Remember]] that [[the Father]] wants to connect every bit of himself to every bit of yourself. But, this must be [[eventually]] conscious so when you are in denial about something, you are consciously [[blocking]] that connection between you and the Father, or even unconsciously, for [[eventually]] these things are buried deep within the conscious [[mind]].

Q: Yes. I just wonder if we bring in any predilections or if we are blank slates that these things are worked on?

Q: Yes. I just wonder if we bring in any predilections or if we are blank slates that these things are worked on?

Ham: No, you bring predilections. All little children, babies, are [[sensitive]] to their environment, but they are all sensitive in slightly [[different]] ways. So, when you were born, you brought with you the certain [[character]] substrates and as these react with the environment, with the [[family]] [[home]], you begin the process of [[character]] development. But, personality is that uniqueness that is unchanging underlying it all. Is this helping?

Ham: No, you bring predilections. All little children, babies, are [[sensitive]] to their environment, but they are all sensitive in slightly [[different]] ways. So, when you were born, you brought with you the certain [[character]] substrates and as these react with the environment, with the [[family]] [[home]], you begin the process of [[character]] development. But, [[personality]] is that uniqueness that is unchanging underlying it all. Is this helping?

Q: Yes, this is definitely broadening my scope.

Q: Yes, this is definitely broadening my scope.

Q: I was trying to remember some phrases of the urantia book on acquired propensities of the races and racial memory to go with her question.

Q: I was trying to remember some phrases of the [[urantia book]] on acquired propensities of the [[races]] and racial memory to go with her question.

Ham: Yes, of course the genetics of the physical body carries with it that substrate that unique sensitivity to the environment which is the bedrock of your development. Is this helping?

Ham: Yes, of course the genetics of the physical body carries with it that substrate that unique sensitivity to the environment which is the bedrock of your development. Is this helping?

Q: yes.

Q: yes.

Q: We've talked so much about faulty relationships with fathers and failed fathering, but recently I have become aware in my own life of how my mother over-loved me, smothered me, and one of the tasks in my life is to transcend that. Recently I have become aware of my own anger here. Can you talk about mother love and how it can go awry in the family dynamic?

Ham: This is quite a subject. Yes, [[females]], because they carry the child and give [[birth]], usually feel much more [[connected]] with that child as though that child is an extension of themselves. It is this tendency to [[possess]] that you are speaking of. Often mothers forget that children must develop their own [[attitude]] towards things, their own [[sensitivities]], their own experiences, and treat a child as though that child were just a part of themselves that must be [[protected]]. The child becomes [[symbolic]] of the most vulnerable part of themselves, the child represents them in that [[vulnerability]]. So often mothers over [[protect]] and over nurture their children so that rather than being a source for [[comfort]] and nurturing the mother becomes [[controlling]], [[manipulative]], and [[greedy]]. See this as a natural tendency, not something that you should [[blame]] your mother for but something that you should [[sympathize]] with and relate to. No [[parents]] are perfect, only the [[Divine]] parents are able to give you exactly what you need. Your earthly parents are trying to fulfill their own needs through you and this is where the [[problems]] are. Is this helping?

Ham: This is quite a subject. Yes, females, because they carry the child and give birth, usually feel much more connected with that child as though that child is an extension of themselves. It is this tendency to possess that you are speaking of. Often mothers forget that children must develop their own attitude towards things, their own sensitivities, their own experiences, and treat a child as though that child were just a part of themselves that must be protected. The child becomes symbolic of the most vulnerable part of themselves, the child represents them in that vulnerability. So often mothers over protect and over nurture their children so that rather than being a source for comfort and nurturing the mother becomes controlling, manipulative, and greedy. See this as a natural tendency, not something that you should blame your mother for but something that you should sympathize with and relate to. No parents are perfect, only the Divine parents are able to give you exactly what you need. Your earthly parents are trying to fulfill their own needs through you and this is where the problems are. Is this helping?

Q: Ownership instead of [[love]]?

Q: Ownership instead of love?

Ham: Well, it's deeper than that, it's a very deep [[connection]] that others feel with their [[children]].

Q: The way our [[parents]] treated us is the outcome of their own [[pain]] and [[denial]] and their attempts to cope with that denial.

 

Q: The way our parents treated us is the outcome of their own pain and denial and their attempts to cope with that denial.

Ham: Yes.

Ham: Yes.

Q: Both of my parents disliked their children immensely and yet wanted us to be like them.

Q: Both of my parents disliked their children immensely and yet wanted us to be like them.

Q: Sometimes I feel I should be more ruthless with my mother for my own spiritual development and I get confused about these feelings of loyaly and responsibility, especially now that she is aging, but instead I get mad at her. These feelings of anger, you talked about it earlier when you talked about acknowledging our anger and pain. Are these feelings, these frustrations, a sign of the process?

Q: Sometimes I feel I should be more ruthless with my [[mother]] for my own [[spiritual development]] and I get [[confused]] about these feelings of [[loyalty]] and [[responsibility]], especially now that she is aging, but instead I get mad at her. These feelings of [[anger]], you talked about it earlier when you talked about acknowledging our [[anger]] and [[pain]]. Are these feelings, these [[frustrations]], a sign of the process?

Ham: Well, there was a time in your life when you needed to set limits on your mother's involvement, your mother's manipulation. And this was not completely accomplished and now you want to finish that and yet you still feel conflicted in doing so. You have spent most of your life trying not to hurt your mother's feelings. I would say that for your sake, for your development, you need to set these limits, and yes there might be some temporary hurts but they will pass.

Ham: Well, there was a time in your life when you needed to set limits on your [[mother]]'s involvement, your mother's [[manipulation]]. And this was not completely accomplished and now you want to finish that and yet you still feel [[conflicted]] in doing so. You have spent most of your life trying not to hurt your mother's [[feelings]]. I would say that for your sake, for your [[development]], you need to set these limits, and yes there might be some temporary hurts but they will pass.

Q: Thank you.

Q: Thank you.

Ham: I've been traveling a lot lately with my group and I have found it very difficult to stay calm and relax and I have felt this overwhelming need to control everything around me and find it very difficult to relax given these feelings. Can you help me deal with this?

Ham: Yes, working with others in a close, high [[pressured]] situation is always [[difficult]]. And, you have legitimate [[desires]] and legitimate concerns. But, you are having trouble figuring out what [[boundaries]] there should be on what you should control and what you should not. Sometimes it is hard to quit controlling when you are controlling a lot of things, it is hard to suddenly stop and put a [[limit]] on it and you feel like it has to be all- or-nothing like you must either control everything or else throw up you hands and [[forget]] about it. I would suggest that you and your group sit down and decide who is going to be [[responsible]] for what and the areas that you are not responsible for, you don't have to [[control]], and the areas that you are [[responsible]] for, nobody else needs to control those. This is a hard thing to decide because everybody wants to do the same things and doesn't want to do the other things. But if you can do this, and work out an arrangement where everybody knows their [[limitations]] then you won't feel like you are controlling other people and they won't feel [[offended]] by what you do need to control. Is this helping.

Ham: Yes, working with others in a close, high pressured situation is always difficult. And, you have legitimate desires and legitimate concerns. But, you are having trouble figuring out what boundaries there should be on what you should control and what you should not. Sometimes it is hard to quite controlling when you are controlling a lot of things, it is hard to suddenly stop and put a limit on it and you feel like it has to be all- or-nothing like you must either control everything or else throw up you hands and forget about it. I would suggest that you and your group sit down and decide who is going to be responsible for what and the areas that you are not responsible for, you don't have to control, and the areas that you are responsible for, nobody else needs to control those. This is a hard thing to decide because everybody wants to do the same things and doesn't want to do the other things. But if you can do this, and work out an arrangement where everybody knows their limitations then you won't feel like you are controlling other people and they won't feel offended by what you do need to control. Is this helping.

Yes, this makes a lot of sense. And before I forget, thanks for last weeks message because it greatly helped me.

Yes, this makes a lot of sense. And before I forget, thanks for last weeks message because it greatly helped me.

Q: A few weeks back you said in our lesson that we would be working on specific things that had to do with standing in the way of our [[spiritual progress]]. And you seemed to indicate that these [[obstacles]] or [[pains]] that we have been discussing were going to be coming up in these times. I certainly know they have been coming up with me in the last few weeks. Is that your general [[forecast]] for us, that these things that are the obstacles will be rearing their heads?

You are very welcome daughter.Q: A few weeks back you said in our lesson that we would be working on specific things that had to do with standing in the way of our spiritual progress. And you seemed to indicate that these obstacles or pains that we have been discussing were going to be coming up in these times. I certainly know they have been coming up with me in the last few weeks. Is that your general forecast for us, that these things that are the obstacles will be rearing their heads?

Ham: Always where there is [[growth]] is there some [[pain]] involved and you have been going through some rapid growth and these inner [[problem]] areas have been coming up for you and you have been going through it very well. Remember, you have had many years of [[denying]] that any of those things were there and so when they do break loose and come into your [[consciousness]], it can be pretty shattering, pretty hard to [[accept]]. But, you are doing very well and remember that this is just [[growth]], this is part of your spiritual development and is not a punishment or something that you have to go through to make up for some things from your [[past]]. It is not that at all.

Ham: Always where there is growth is there some pain involved and you have been going through some rapid growth and these inner problem areas have been coming up for you and you have been going through it very well. Remember, you have had many years of denying that any of those things were there and so when they do break loose and come into your consciousness, it can be pretty shattering, pretty hard to accept. But, you are doing very well and remember that this is just growth, this is part of your spiritual development and is not a punishment or something that you have to go through to make up for some things from your past. It is not that at all.

Q: I understand that.  

Q: I understand that. A Yes, but internally you tend to feel that life experiences are either a punishment or a reward and most often they are neither, they just are. Is this helping your understanding?

A Yes, but internally you tend to feel that life experiences are either a punishment or a reward and most often they are neither, they just are. Is this helping your [[understanding]]?

Q: It certainly is. Thank you.

Q: It certainly is. Thank you.

 

Q: There is a long list of people to ask for messages for. The first is Cathy and her mom.

Q: There is a long list of people to ask for messages for. The first is Cathy and her mom.

Ham: Ameilia, daughter, you are very strong because you are very resilient, you are very flexible and you can bend with adversity. You mother, however, is strong in another way and she feels she has to be totally and rigidly strong or she will break and fall to pieces. Show her by your own example how to bend and how emotions are a good thing and not to be feared.

Ham: Ameilia, daughter, you are very strong because you are very [[resilient]], you are very [[flexible]] and you can bend with [[adversity]]. You mother, however, is strong in another way and she feels she has to be totally and rigidly [[strong]] or she will break and fall to pieces. Show her by your own example how to bend and how [[emotions]] are a good thing and not to be [[feared]].

Q: Aunt Deloris.

Q: Aunt Deloris.

Ham: Certainly, daughter, you have come through much experience, many trials and testing, many ups and downs. All these experiences have given you a greater self- knowledge and a greater understanding of others. Don't be afraid to accept these understandings, to accept your true self and to love yourself. In other words, you have come to far to stop now. Go ahead with your quest and accept all the love that the Father bestows upon you.Q: Cousin Nickie? Ham: Yes, daughter. You also have some inner resentments, inner pains to deal with and these are coming to the surface now. It is my hope that this lesson will be helpful and that you can open your heart to the Father's love now and in eternity.

Ham: Certainly, daughter, you have come through much [[experience]], many [[trials]] and testing, many ups and downs. All these experiences have given you a greater [[self- knowledge]] and a greater [[understanding]] of others. Don't be afraid to [[accept]] these understandings, to accept your true [[self]] and to [[love]] yourself. In other words, you have come to far to stop now. Go ahead with your [[quest]] and [[accept]] all the love that [[the Father]] bestows upon you.

 

Q: Cousin Nickie? Ham: Yes, daughter. You also have some inner [[resentments]], inner [[pains]] to deal with and these are coming to the [[surface]] now. It is my hope that this lesson will be helpful and that you can open your [[heart]] to the Father's love now and in [[eternity]].

Q: Esmirelda?

Q: Esmirelda?

Ham: Yes, daughter, let hope be your watchword for this week. There is an inner hope springing forth in your breast that is a gift from the Father. Hope and faith are joined together. Be at ease with this newfound feeling and continue in faith.

Ham: Yes, daughter, let [[hope]] be your [[watchword]] for this week. There is an inner [[hope]] springing forth in your breast that is a gift from [[the Father]]. [[Hope]] and [[faith]] are joined together. Be at ease with this newfound [[feeling]] and continue in [[faith]].

Q: Elena? C Ham: Yes, daughter, you have some inner anger that is bubbling to the surface from time to time. This is masking an inner pain and again I hope this lesson will be a help to you.

Q: Elena? C Ham: Yes, daughter, you have some inner [[anger]] that is bubbling to the surface from time to time. This is masking an inner [[pain]] and again I hope this lesson will be a help to you.

Q: Rebecca?

Q: Rebecca?

Ham: Yes, daughter, you have some inner resentment that is surfacing at this time. Go ahead and take some time to think about this emotion. You will find an early childhood experience that causes you to resent others at times like they've seen you naked and you are pulling the screen back around you to keep their gaze away. It's OK daughter to feel this pain and these feelings. You are doing very well. Be comforted by the Father's love.

Ham: Yes, daughter, you have some inner [[resentment]] that is surfacing at this time. Go ahead and take some time to think about this [[emotion]]. You will find an early [[childhood]] [[experience]] that causes you to resent others at times like they've seen you [[naked]] and you are pulling the screen back around you to keep their gaze away. It's OK daughter to feel this pain and these [[feelings]]. You are doing very well. Be comforted by the Father's love.

Q: Jarad?

Q: Jarad?

Ham: You are doing very well son. You are allowing the Father's love to flow through you and to be a part of you. Yes, you have some inner pain, feelings of unworthiness, that are surfacing and resentments from early childhood. You rejected your mother's love early because there was a feeling that you didn't deserve it and so you would reject it rather than pine for it. Is this helping?

Ham: You are doing very well son. You are allowing [[the Father]]'s love to [[flow]] through you and to be a part of you. Yes, you have some inner [[pain]], [[feelings]] of unworthiness, that are surfacing and [[resentments]] from early [[childhood]]. You [[rejected]] your mother's love early because there was a feeling that you didn't deserve it and so you would reject it rather than pine for it. Is this helping?

Q: Yes, I would like to know how that I have managed to love her because I would like to use the same thing for my dad?

Q: Yes, I would like to know how that I have managed to [[love]] her because I would like to use the same thing for my dad?

Ham: When you see your father again on the mansion worlds, all these things will be healed.Q: I have always admired the great distance he came.

Ham: When you see your [[father]] again on the [[mansion worlds]], all these things will be healed.

 

Q: I have always admired the great distance he came.

Ham: Yes, but not as far as you have come.

Ham: Yes, but not as far as you have come.

Q: Ham, Mark was wondering if he could get a personal message this evening.

Q: Ham, Mark was wondering if he could get a personal message this evening.

Ham: Of course, son. You are making great spiritual progress and you have always been devoted to self-honesty. There will be times when uncomfortable feelings will arise and when you are ready, you can examine them and feel the pain that is behind them, but don't feel that you have to push it.

Ham: Of course, son. You are making great [[spiritual progress]] and you have always been [[devoted]] to self-[[honesty]]. There will be times when uncomfortable [[feelings]] will arise and when you are ready, you can [[examine]] them and feel the pain that is behind them, but don't feel that you have to push it.

Q: Joe would like a message too please Ham.

Q: Joe would like a message too please Ham.

Ham: You do well my son. The road you are walking upon is one that is ordained for you. You are following the Father's will so long as you remain true to yourself. You do well son, be at peace.

Ham: You do well my son. The road you are walking upon is one that is [[ordained]] for you. You are following [[the Father]]'s will so long as you remain true to yourself. You do well son, be at [[peace]].

Q: Ham do you have a personal message for me tonight please.

Q: Ham do you have a personal message for me tonight please.

Ham: You are making good progress son in allowing the love of God that is within you to find expression in the world. This indeed is the purpose of life and that which gives life meaning. Go in peace, for you do well.

Ham: You are making good [[progress]] son in allowing the love of God that is within you to find [[expression]] in the world. This indeed is the [[purpose]] of life and that which gives life [[meaning]]. Go in peace, for you do well.

Q: Ham, do you have a personal message for me?

Q: Ham, do you have a personal message for me?

Ham: Certainly, daughter. You have more love in your life than you acknowledge. Allow yourself the freedom to let love in. Love is not threatening, love is not desiring to take anything from you. So, be more trusting of the love in your life and be trusting of your own impulses to love. Is this helping?

Ham: Certainly, daughter. You have more [[love]] in your life than you acknowledge. Allow yourself the [[freedom]] to let love in. Love is not threatening, love is not [[desiring]] to take anything from you. So, be more [[trusting]] of the love in your life and be trusting of your own [[impulses]] to love. Is this helping?

 

Yes, thank you.Q: Ham I would appreciate any feedback you have for me.

Q: Ham I would appreciate any [[feedback]] you have for me.

Ham: Of course, son. You are going through some growth now as well and growth is always somewhat troubling and disconcerting. But, you are doing very well. Allow yourself to feel emotions that have been long buried. Go ahead and explore your inner life without fear or worry that what you will find is so terrible that you can't live with it. That is all son, you do well.

Ham: Of course, son. You are going through some [[growth]] now as well and growth is always somewhat troubling and disconcerting. But, you are doing very well. Allow yourself to feel [[emotions]] that have been long [[buried]]. Go ahead and [[explore]] your [[inner life]] without fear or worry that what you will find is so terrible that you can't live with it. That is all son, you do well.

Q: Charlie B.

Q: Charlie B.

Ham: Son, you do well. You have the blessing of angels upon you and yet you persist in seeing scarcity where there is abundance. Embrace your angels and give thanks for all that you have which is truly very, very much.

Ham: Son, you do well. You have the [[blessing]] of [[angels]] upon you and yet you [[persist]] in seeing [[scarcity]] where there is [[abundance]]. [[Embrace]] [[your angels]] and give thanks for all that you have which is truly very, very much.

===Closing===

===Closing===

I am very glad to be a teacher and very humbled by your trust. Once again, I thank you for coming and until again we meet, my love and my blessings are upon you, farewell.

I am very glad to be a teacher and very [[humbled]] by your [[trust]]. Once again, I thank you for coming and until again we meet, my [[love]] and my [[blessings]] are upon you, farewell.

[[Category: The Teaching Mission: Dialogues]]

[[Category: The Teaching Mission: Dialogues]]

[[Category: Ham]]

[[Category: Ham]]

[[Category: Rebecca]]

[[Category: Rebecca]]

[[Category: 1999]]

[[Category: 1999]]