1998-08-02-Learning To Love, Part 2
Topic: Learning To Love, Part II
Welmek: This morning I would like to continue with what we started in our prior session. We said that the purpose of life is to live, to learn and to love. Each of these can be talked about in combination. Last time many of you focused on learning to live and we discussed this. Today, I wish to focus learning to love. What does that mean? How has loved changed your life? How can others find the love they seek? Why is love something that must be learned? Need it be learned in all situations? As you can see, there are many facets to this question, but I will pause for now. Later after you have shared your ideas, I will share mine.
(Comments from students)
I sense the lessons grow more difficult. We search more deeply. We have talked before about the human nature. You are indwelt by a spirit of God, and yet you have your identity, your self, your ego. As you grow, you are taught to seek outwardly for all that you desire. You are taught to seek with your ego, through your outward search with other people, experiences….these are what will bring you happiness and joy. And so, when you are unhappy or not feeling joy or not feeling love, you seek outwardly. You seek satisfaction of values in other humans. It is well that you do that, but like so many things, when you seek these things from other humans, you must be prepared to realize that it may not be exactly what you hoped for; it may not last as long as you hoped for. There may be difficulty in maintaining and sustaining relationships, as all of you know.
Is not all that you have learned been an attempt to teach you one real truth? The one real truth is that the source of what you seek lies within. Yet no matter how many times we say it, you are so trained, you are so conditioned, you are so used to working through your ego that you still seek all of these things in the outer world. It takes time, it takes experience. For no matter how many times I might say it, until you are willing to try it, you will not know if my words are true. If you take the time to seek love, the real source of love which comes from God; if you take the time to seek this that comes from within, I say to you without hesitation, in all sincerity, in all honesty in every fiber, every atom, every element that fills my being, you will find what you seek.
The great source of love is within. That source of love will never fail you, it will never change, it will never be fickle, it is always there for you. It is a difficult experience in life to feel unloved, and you see how your brothers and sisters and yourselves react to a sense of being unloved. Humans will endure abuse and mistreatment if they at least feel or have some connection with a feeling of love from another person. The need is strong. The need was not put there to torture you or confuse you. It was put there so you could taste the real source of love. The difficulty is in finding the right direction. When you take the time to seek love from God, you will find it. It will grow within you, it will well up within you. Every atom of your body in time will be saturated with this love of God. Once you have that feeling, loving others and having others love you is really quite easy, because you have freed yourself from all of the bonds. You can love others, but if they do not love you in return, so be it because you still have the love within you.
If others love you, but you do not feel the same for them, you do not feel badly because you now realize they could also find this great source of love within them if they try. Love has no ties, it has no bonds, it is free. It should be given freely, it should be received freely. But when love comes from your sense of what love is, from your ego (and by ego I mean the accumulation of experiences and ideas, your own thinking and its limitations) you put these ties, you put these bonds and attach them to it, and then when they are broken or become frayed, then you feel love has not found you or you have not found love. Release this thinking, find the true source of love and you will find that all of your relationships will improve. Someone earlier mentioned acceptance. When you have expectations of others and they do not meet these expectations, you grow frustrated, disappointed, perhaps even resentful. But if you already are in love then these relationships are free from these expectations. For you look at others realizing they need the same source of love that you have. Your goal is to help them find it. You know if they find it, then if they can walk each day in love, and your relationships with them will be free.
Many people say, “I would love if only someone would love me,” and they search for that human who will love them. And they decide if they will return that love. Well, if you find that God loves you, then you will find it is easy to love others. But if you do not feel the love from within, if you do not feel loved yourself, it is more difficult to love others. The more love you feel, the more loving you are. This is a difficult lesson for you think to yourself, “well, how can I feel this love, I’ve only felt it with others, and now you tell me that I can feel this love, this same feeling of love from God, this God, who is this God? Where is this God? How do I feel love from this God who is so far away? How can that be?” Well, you know from your text that a fragment, a spirit of God is within you. God is there with you.
Someone else mentioned God does not cut the love off, humans cut off the love. Very true. You cannot feel the love of God if you do not search for it and open yourself to it. How do you change, how do you begin this process? It begins with an idea or a concept. As long as your concept says it is not possible, then obviously, you will not find it. So you must open your mind first to say maybe it is possible to find this love that I seek from God. After your open your mind, you must open your heart. You must spend time with God. Ask God to feel the love, bask in the love. Feel the arms of God surround you. Feel the peace of God penetrate your very soul. You will feel it in time and it will grow, but you must give it a chance. You must let it grow. As it does, the feeling of loneliness, the feeling of being unloved, and crowded out will fade because it is being replaced by the feeling of love.
The Master did not have a woman to share in this love of marriage and yet he was filled with love for everyone he met. How could that be? Because he felt the love of God that filled his being. And when he walked in love every moment each day others were magnetically drawn to that power of that love. And he radiated that love to all who came to him. You may not grow, you may not develop to that level while you are on this world, but it is possible. All comes down my friends to a choice. To know whether my words are true, you must choose to experience them.
Some of your earlier spoke of the changes within you. The only way in which you could share those changes and speak truthfully that you have felt this love is because you sought it and you tried it. If you had not, your words would be empty as you spoke to others in this group. Others sense when words are empty, they sense when the words have experience and truth. Many of you crave to do the work of the kingdom. But, how can the work be done until there are workers, and how can the workers do what they need to do if they have not been trained? So now you learn, now you are in training. If you want to do the work of the kingdom, you must be a worker in the kingdom. To be a worker in the kingdom you must have experienced what we discuss here. It must be real, it must be a part of you. And until it is a part of you, then you can talk about the work but you cannot do the work. You need not be perfect, but you need to have tasted the love and you need to know what you say is real.
Is it so difficult to take 15, 20 or 30 minutes each day to achieve this? You spend endless time going places meeting people searching for love. I say to you spend 20 or 30 minutes a day and you will find it. You spend much more time than that in your search. When you have found this love inside, then you will see relationships in a different way. If you find another person you want to share your life with, you can do that, you can do it freely and without constantly feeling you must do certain things in certain ways or the person will no longer love you. This will free you from all of those bonds. For if you have found the love within, it is only a matter of sharing that love. If you do not find someone to live with to share that love on a more intimate basis, you can share that love with everyone that you meet. Many will not understand, but you will find some who will understand that you can share more deeply with. Look at this group you are with, are they not here to understand who you are, can you not share this love with them?
The outer world will not so much give you the answers to the things you need. These will come from within. The outer world gives you the opportunity to share what you have found. When you have found this, you will feel the need to share it with others. If they do not return it, you will not feel resentment, you will not feel anger. You will only feel compassion for you know they have not found real love in their lives. So what does it mean to learn to love? You must learn the source of real true love. Then you must learn to seek this love, and when you feel it inside you will learn to share it with others. I will pause and entertain questions and comments
Welmek: The inward path is the movement towards true reality. The more spirit-led, the more spirit filled, the more real you become. Many are afraid to choose the path because they feel that it will change them. Oh, I guarantee you it will change you. But change you to what? You see, in your childish images you think you must be Mother Theresa, or you must give up your wordly goods, or you must never have desire for sexual pleasure, or you must never want the finer things of life. You have all of these images taught to you about what it means to live a spirit-filled life. I say to you, let go of all of these images. What does it mean, what does our Father offer you in this choice? It means that you can enjoy all of the things of life, there is nothing wrong with physical pleasures, there is nothing wrong with the material things that bring you joy and happiness. There is wonderful joy in relationships. All of these are here for you to enjoy. But, this change will bring you more love, more peace, more joy, more happiness, more patience, more tolerance. These are the fruits of the spirit, all else is child-like teaching of those who do not understand.
So, would it be so bad to feel more love, peace, joy, tolerance and happiness if your life? Is that not a change you would welcome? These are what are real. These are the way the people live in the universe. They live in joy, in love, in peace, in patience, in tolerance, in compassion, in service. This is what is real. So do not let these false concepts hold you back, for the change will come very slowly. It will not be radical. You must still work your jobs; you must still take care of your family. All of these are real, all are important. No one would ever want you to not handle your responsibilities, but would it not be better to fulfill your responsibilities, to do your jobs, to take care of your families with a feeling of love, joy, peace, and compassion within you? Would it not lighten your load?
The spirit path does not make your life more difficult. It makes it easier. But you must trust, you must have some faith that these words are real. Then, you must walk this path for a while to see if, in fact, it is true. All of you have begun this path to varying degrees, and to those who have tasted a greater feeling of love within--patience, tolerance, joy in their life--do you wish to turn back? I think your answer is no. You can live in the material world and you can still do it and find the love, happiness and joy you seek. But instead of expecting all of your brothers and sisters to provide it for you, you will learn to provide it for yourself. And if you provide it for yourself, you will not only have more than enough for yourself, you will overflow and be able to give others what they need. Many will sense this in you, many will seek it from you. In time they will also learn that the source is not you, the source is within them. You may be able to help them make this rebirth, help them be born again. What does it mean to be born again? It means to refocus your growth and attention to the inner world; into a new direction.
Welmek: The roots go very deeply. I would recommend this as a process for change. We have talked about it before, but it is one of the great benefits of your stillness practice and one of the many reasons we recommend it to you. God is the greatest counselor; God is the greatest therapist. Let’s say that in a relationship with someone else, you feel bitter, resentful and there are many levels of your consciousness. These feelings are rooted and you elevate them to your normal level of ego consciousness, you search and scan your experiences and your feelings. When you do not find a way, at this level of ego consciousness, to eliminate these feelings, you do not know what to do. And so sometimes you turn to your brothers and sisters for their advice; their counsel. And they do the best they can to help you discover, uncover, what might be the source of these feelings. This process of discussing is helpful to some degree. But you must understand that it is still occurring at a lower level of consciousness which is the level of your ego consciousness. You are still only using your and perhaps your counselor’s level of experience to discern what the true nature of the problem is and how to remedy it.
Now, if you take two humans with 30-50 years of experience with all of their own problems and difficulties and you put them together, what is the opportunity for them to find a truly enlightened solution? I say to you, it is limited. It is sometimes the blind leading the blind, but it is better than not attempting at all, and sometimes positive steps can be made. But suppose you take this same feeling and in your moments of stillness and contact with God in feeling safe and secure in His presence, you bring up from these roots your most difficult thoughts, feelings or experiences. You bring them up into your consciousness while you are surrounded in this feeling of peace and love; what do you think will happen to these thoughts, feelings or experiences that have you have attached so much negativity to? You have brought them up into the light, so first God will give you a way to see them and the light will crowd out the darkness, and the light will make you lose your fear of these thoughts, feelings or experiences. You will be able to encircle this thought, feeling or experience to see it from all different angles or perspectives. And as you see it more fully, you will understand it more fully, and as you understand it more fully, you will no longer be threatened by it, fearful of it. In time it will actually dissolve. It will still be there in your memory, but now all of the negativity and fear has been removed from it. So, now it is there only as an experience, only as a building block of understanding. It is no longer controlling you or bringing you this negativity or fear.
I say to you my friends: this is the truest therapy you can imagine. God will help you see things in a new way, help you lose that fear and replace it with love and compassion. When you see someone else and do not understand what they do or why they did it, take this into stillness. Ask God to see this person, see this experience in a new way, and I assure you that He will. It may not be totally gone, it may take several attempts to be totally freeing, but in time it will no longer be a problem. You will learn to see others from what their motivation might have been, learn to see others as just little children who often do not know the correct way to behave. You may disapprove of their actions, but you still feel love or compassion for them as a brother or sister on this world.
Welmek: Let me clarify. To say that the outer world is unimportant or totally illusory is not correct. I say this in my explanation to help you focus upon what is more real. The material world is real, my friend, it is a place where through your mechanism of sensing and experiencing, you can find a certain amount of satisfaction, of love. All of these things can be found on your world and through your brothers and sisters. What I say is, they are not illusory, they are real; but they are transitory…perhaps that is the better word to use. Because you know that the love they give you one day may not be there the next. So, my point is to tell you that to find the true, real and permanent non-changing love, you must seek the love from within for this is the source that does not change. The material world is there for you, to serve in both directions. You can move out and experience the material world to taste of love through your brothers and sisters. Most people get their first taste of love not from God, but from other humans. So other humans and the material world serves to give us our first taste and lessons, these first experiences. As I said earlier, not only does it serve as an arena for you to begin to accumulate experience upon which you can build your understanding of meanings and values. Then it serves as an arena for you to share, to practice this love. So it is a two-way opportunity and arena for you to utilize. It is not illusory. Your children are real, your brothers and sisters in this room are real. But the material world is transitory, things change from one day to the next. Relationships change, jobs change, all things continue to change because they are in flux.
Q: How can I remember that? I forget that the material world cannot give me these things, yet I continue to seek it there.
Welmek: Because is that not where you first found it? And if you first found love from your wife, from your children, if you first found something of satisfaction, in doing a good job or doing something well, if these are your first sources of the taste of these things in life, then is it only natural it would take time for you to realize there may be other sources more real. It is a transition, a change. As I say, you do still find some love, and joy and happiness in all of these things? You are living in a material world; in your daily life you must focus and spend much of your time in work and in these other pursuits. And so this fills much of your day, it fills much of your consciousness. Do not be so hard on yourself. What I say to you is that this is normal for human beings because of all the time you must spend in dealing with the realities of just living on this world. The best way to keep this in your consciousness is to spend each day, to seek that time with God. If you do this, it keeps you in balance, it keeps a more balanced focus as you walk each and as you experience new things. It will take time for the shift.
Imagine a scale in your mind. Your experience tells you that most of the material world, which is one scale, provides you with the things you seek. Imagine there is a little nugget of truth on the other scale. Now, the scale is very unbalanced initially, is it not? As you go into stillness, as these realities grow within you, you continue to add nuggets of love, truth, experience to the other side. Slowly but surely the focus upon the material world begins to evaporate, to dissolve, to erode. So what will happen over time, will the scale not become more balanced? If you continue, then where in the end is it possible for the great weight to be? It would be on the side of spirit, would it not, rather than on the material? It would be difficult for you to totally tip the scale in the other direction in this short lifetime, but you are trying. When you are free from the material body, from the need to spend so much time in your pursuit of work everyday, when you awaken on the mansion worlds, it will not be quite so difficult to balance these things. But for now it is difficult and you must do the best you can. Do not be hard on yourself for you must spend time at your work and the other things you must do to survive this material world.
As these concepts grow in your consciousness you will find that even as you look at these experiences in your material world, it will begin to be seen through new eyes. Do you remember my analogy of wearing the glasses? I said that you have three sets of glasses. One set is that you look at only the material world through the glasses that have the lenses of the ego. That is much of your day. Then, when you go into stillness you wear another set of glasses whose lenses are only the eyes of spirit. They see only love and joy and good. But if you wear the glasses that have the dual lenses, one allowing you to see the material world as it is and the other allowing you to see God and the spirit world as it is, then when you look at each person through both you will always be in balance. This is the way the Master saw the world. He did not pretend that evil and suffering did not exist. He saw it every day, he saw it through the light of spirit. In the light of spirit he saw that it could be transformed. Love and goodness and service could transform the material world. So, by always looking through both lenses he could always remain in balance; he always saw the way things were and the way they could be. This allowed him to continue to walk every day to serve, to make the world a better place each day. He saw each day as a new opportunity to make it a little bit better. This is the opportunity you and everyone else have. But if you do not seek and find the love--the truth of spirit--then you cannot wear this pair of glasses.