2001-04-06-More On Mistakes
Topic: More on Mistakes
Group: Pocatello TeaM
Teacher: Daniel, Klarixiska, PamElla
TR: Virginia, Bill K., Nancy
Klarixiska(Virginia): This is Klarixiska.
We thank you, Father, for your love, for we do know that it is the basis of the self esteem that is in the universe. You have created us, both seen and unseen, in order to reach you one day. We don't fully understand, but we thank you for your love; we thank you for the opportunity to grow; we thank you that at the end of the path we will know fully your love and approval. Be with each one, tonight, both those who teach and those who listen, that learning truly might occur, and that change might bring greater self esteem to all. Amen.
Daniel(Bill): Dear ones, it is I, your teacher, Daniel, present with you on this lovely Spring afternoon. My special greetings to PamElla whom I rejoice to have the opportunity to converse with. My students are spread over great distances, geographically, but still this meeting of the core group is essential for us to continue our classroom experience.
Having reminded you of the fact that you are not born defective, under the fictitious guilt of racial condemnation, I would now elaborate some of the ramifications of this truth. You see, if you believe that you began life on this mortal sphere handicapped and depraved, it is difficult to assess progress accurately. But since you were not born this way, but rather were born under the smile of God and the approval of the universe, there is no legacy of guilt to carry from earliest childhood into maturity.
I realize that for those who were not raised under a theological understanding of God's love which was accurate, this heritage of shame and guilt is difficult to let go of. It is more or less like a self fulfilling prophecy so that when you make a mistake you can say, "Well, that's just the way I am made. I have always been a sinner by birth and by nature". But when you understand that you were not born a sinner, and when you also understand that you were born as a mortal to begin the great perfection ascension career to Paradise, it is possible, therefor, to allow your estimate of self to be constantly adjusted upward. In other words, then, for all those mistakes of learning, you understand that there is no shame or guilt involved. Only when a person deliberately chooses evil should there be feelings of guilt and the need for forgiveness. Having, therefor, this basic attitude that your lives are a process of moving from potential to actual, from one level of attainment to another, to another, and to another, it is not appropriate to look back on the past with any sense of shame or regret, any self denigration, any self loathing.
Just as you look on the progress of any human preschooler with amusement and affection and see the level of behavior with a generous understanding, so does the Father of all and all universe administrators and Creators understand that you are just children, spiritually, having just been born of the animal nature and so recently infused with the divine nature. It is inappropriate for any parent to expect their three year old to have the maturity of an eighteen year old. No normal parent would ever expect that kind of thing. And yet, many people are intolerant with themselves as adults and do not accept their progress realistically. They expect themselves to be far advanced of what their experience quotient actually is.
It is very important that you realize that your origin is positive, is blessed, rather than is cursed as a result of the sins of your ancestors. What is important is that the past truly should not have a hold on the present. The person you were ten years ago, twenty years ago, or even a few weeks ago is not exactly the same person you are today. Your personality has not changed, but your character development has. If you have admitted to your deliberate choices of evil and seen the error of those choices, you are forgiven and those feelings of guilt associated with the past should go away. Every day is a brand new day. Every moment is a new beginning. Therefor, your self esteem needs to be focused on this moment. If you sincerely desire, pray and choose to do what is right, what is best, there is no place, then, in your minds for regret. We are all children of a most gracious parentage. Our Mother and our Father understand us and rejoice to see us feeling good about ourselves.
PamElla, you very blessed because you understand these things; and that child that grows within you will have a different entrance into the world than was your lot, and the lot of your parents before you. I rejoice to be in your presence today, my friends. I have finished my remarks. Do you have questions or comments?
Virginia: Daniel, I think that I have said a similar statement, but for you to easily say, "have no regret", it's just a huge mountain to climb over from my point of view, because regrets affect not just yourself, but many other people. Sometimes this can be a heavy burden!
Daniel(Bill): My dear, I understand your point, but it does not take into account the fact that everyone's actions, while affecting everyone else, are also part of the matrix and web of growth opportunities for the whole. The choice of Jesus to allow himself to be put to death was not one that he easily made. His human nature was tempted to bypass that experience. His death on the cross as a criminal was not the will of God. The will of God was that he should pursue the natural conclusion to his life. His death on the cross was the result of the ill will, the evil thinking and planning of men. But Jesus absorbed those effects and took upon himself that experience. He surmounted it and forever does he understand what grievous consequences can come from the bad decisions of others. But always is the resurrection the last word! Love utterly destroys evil by transforming it. The universe does not go downhill as a result of the effects of error that everyone is a part of. The universe is evolving and improving.
What good results occur when one dwells upon thoughts about how one has affected others in a negative manner? Tell me what positive improvement, what redeeming value those kinds of ruminations have.
Virginia: Well, immediately it came to mind that given a similar circumstance, I think I would act differently. I think the progression of my own life has shown that, but that doesn't mean that I wished that I had to learn from those mistakes. I would rather have learned from something more positive.
Daniel: You do well to learn from those mistakes! You would do better if you would let go of the negative feelings as well, because the negative feelings occupy your mind with unpleasantness, distract your thinking from the present, have a repetitious, circular, "spin your wheels" time consumption. That's why the Master said that he wished his disciples to have no sense of guilt or regret or shame. These can occupy your mind and take away from your focus on the present. Actually, my friends, it isn't God who needs to be persuaded to forgive, it is you who needs to be persuaded to forgive yourself and others. Understand that these evolutionary universes are created to progress through error, through mistakes, through these sorts of things; this is the way it is designed to be! This is not some cosmic derailment of the original project! This is the way it is meant to be: evolution, constant improvement, is the essential characteristic of this universe.
Someday we shall all meet the Havoners, the natives of Havona, who were born in perfection. They are absolutely fascinated to try to understand the concept of perfectedness evolving from imperfection. In their experience they have no clue, until they talk with those who have ascended from the evolutionary worlds. And they envy us, for we have had these experiences which they have not. So, Letah, when you regret that you are part of this imperfect universe, I find it amusing, because there is a similar envy on the part of those who are created perfect. It takes both the perfect and the perfected to have the full understanding of universe reality.
Virginia: Are there no magic wands, Daniel? (Laughter, comments)Nancy: Mom has always wanted a magic wand.(More laughter)
Daniel: You see, if there was a magic wand what would you lose? Experience. You would lose the experience of making choices to overcome the obstacles. This loss of experience would be a true short circuiting of the whole purpose of evolutionary attainment perfection. Can you understand that??
Virginia: I really can. Thank you.
Daniel: What I wish to leave with you this evening is this....
Nancy: Don't leave yet!
Daniel: I am not leaving yet! I am speaking of my thoughts.
I wish to leave you the feeling that one has when one has gone on a long strenuous hike up a steep mountain, one switch back after another, until you are finally at the top, rest, look out, and see the incredible scenery and feel that sense of physical completion in your body. You have pushed this wonderful machine of yours, you body, to this level, to this accomplishment. And it has been hard work, but look at the result! Look at the wonderful scenery that is yours to gaze upon. Everyday, every hour, even every minute can have this flavor, that you have reached this point. You, have struggled, yes. There will be more struggles, there will be more progress and we are just beginning. But you are entitled to the "rest" of accomplishment.
The brain is actually both hard wired and soft wired; it has genetic structures that are there but also accepts the experience of a lifetime and stores it in meaningful patterns. I emphasize the understanding of these things because it requires a rewiring of the brain, as it were, for you to feel differently about previous experience. It requires repeated reinterpretation of old thought patterns to change those associated feelings as the neural circuitry changes only by repetition. Eventually, then, the old circuitry will be sufficiently altered that you will not have this emotional response to the past that was the result of your thinking interpretation, the misunderstanding that was taught you regarding the value of human nature. So, Letah, in conclusion to your plea, it will take time and it will take repeated thinking that is different from your childhood and early adulthood thinking. Eventually the feelings will be altered. When you have the experience of going back to those early "tapes", that is just evidence that the neural circuitry has not been completely rewired. But each time you confront those feelings and fight them with your mind, saying that they are the result of a misunderstanding, and you understand that, it changes the feelings and eventually you will be free. Has this answered your concerns?
Virginia: Yes, Daniel, and I appreciate very much the teachers and the support you all give.
Daniel: If this were a normal planet you would not be struggling with this error and distortion. But, it isn't a normal planet and therefor my colleagues and I are just so pleased to have an opportunity to help you all.
Nancy: Thank you for that, Daniel. Thank you for the greeting and the recognition of the life growing within. People ask me if I have felt anything yet and I thought that I may have but not clearly. But as I have been sitting here she is very active. (Laughter) . .and I am clearly feeling baby. So that is pretty cool!
Thank you for your discussion with mom. What I had been thinking, and you developed it as I was listening to the earlier part. I was thinking about how uplifting it is to achieve a goal, to know that you have been in tune and you chose that and that you have the best. What a fabulous feeling that is! The difficulty, of course, is when one makes an error. You know, I felt like I erred last Friday and went ahead and acted "as if" making an error was okay and therefor dealt with it up front and straight forward. But it still caused such great shame, even at the same time that I am behaving as if making errors is normal and natural.(Laughter) So I was thinking about the "as if" part, that if you act it long enough you will own it after a while. Then when you went into the wiring part with mom, that validated that. So it was pretty neat as the thoughts passed through my mind and you went ahead and developed in greater detail. Now I had a question which I lost. I talk too much. (Pause with bantering conversation.)
Well, I can't think of it now. But it's very nice to be here with you and hearing from you. I was looking forward to hearing from you in this manner. Oh, I remember my question! What happens for me sometimes when I have had such pinnacle types of experiences of knowing that I am right on, I get the terrible fear that I can never do that again. It is almost like I am afraid to even try again. I don't trust that I can just continue to make pinnacle choices, time after time. Especially when I do fall down and make the errors that I don't want to make. I would like for you to address that fear and that block and also I wonder how it was that Jesus was able to align himself so well from the time he was a little boy! He would talk to his father in Heaven and blow the adults away with the wisdom that he showed. I would like to be like that, but maybe not enough to do the really hard work. (Laughter)
Daniel: The fear of not being able to continue to learn and to grow is partly from a belief that it is not okay to make mistakes and be imperfect. That is my best guess.
Nancy/PamElla: I would agree with you. It is not okay! (Laughter)
Daniel: You don't agree that I correctly ascertained this?
Nancy: I do agree that you correctly ascertained this. I don't agree that it is okay to make mistakes. (Laughter). I intellectually know that it is. I listened to what you teach us. I know that is correct, but I don't own it, so that is why I have to act "as if". But I don't own it at all.
Daniel: You had a very difficult childhood experience for your parents were not clear in their understanding about this matter, at all. Not only were they unclear, but you were in a culture in which you were simultaneously cast as the "preacher's kid" and "child of the minister of the devil". Both of these seemingly opposite cultural pressures pushed you in the direction of a perfectionism, to be a good girl to prove you weren't associated with the devil. Were you aware of that? And also, but more predominantly, that you were the daughter of a family in the "ministry". Your parents did not understand the need for personality unification in the pre-school years. They expected behavior from you which was inappropriately advanced.
Virginia: Very well said.
Daniel: You were not given enough grace and, therefor, those experiences combined with you high intelligence, has facilitated a belief system that you absorbed as a very young child. You, also, like most children, assumed responsibility for difficulties in the family that were not yours to assume. But as a child often does, you felt that responsibility. So you have this very deeply ingrained "stuff" which you are beginning to truly transcend. I believe, and so does Linda, that you are making great progress.
For example, you are willing to settle for less than perfection, and actually enjoy it. (Laughter)
Group member: Is that true?
Nancy: Yes, you should see my house. (More laughter)
Daniel: And so I say, again, your fear is the result of the rewriting of your brain, your neural circuitry. It's the same old fear of change that we all experience in mortal life. But, what I am telling you and I know you intellectually understand, is that this whole process will become emotionally more gratifying, more uplifting, more joyful.
Nancy: Thank you! That is very helpful. I am kind of struggling at a personal level finding balance in work and life right now. Something struck me when you talked about taking on the responsibility for things in family like children do. I know at work I have a tendency to take on a lot and to kind of come from, "If it's got to be, it's up to me". In my work, to some extent, that happens to be the case. As I look around I think I have more complete understanding of the issues, how they interrelate to one another, which ones are the most significant, which ones need to be gone after. At the same I want to enjoy my pregnancy, enjoy my life, and find that balance. So I am still really struggling there with how much to take on, how much to just let fall through the cracks, because that's where it's going to go. When I am not there, there is no one underneath to catch it. It's sounds like I am asking you to tell me what to do, and I am not, but if there is any advice you could give me, a lens to look at it through, I would really be grateful because everything feels so important that I just wish I could quintuple the amount of time that I have and do it all at the level that I would like to do, including time off, sitting around and feeling this baby.
Daniel: I would point out to you, my dear, that your ability to do the work you are doing is one of the positive results of all of this early training. (Laughter)
Nancy: Yeah, I agree!
Daniel: Yes, but what you have to realize now is that the greatest role, the most important job in your mortal lifetime, is fast approaching, which is to be a mother, to be a parent, yes!
Nancy: Thank you!
Daniel: And while you have been able to diversify your energies and give to the world as a whole, in that you have this wonderful larger perspective, you also now will balance this with the wonderful role of being a gracious and loving mother. I will not get off on a long speech about parenthood at this point, but allow yourself, my dear, to relax to the point where you can feel this little one in you, for you two are one; you are biologically one. When she is born, then she becomes her own person. Learn from the mistakes of the culture that you were raised in and allow her to be appropriately nurtured; although this is not meant to endorse the kind of permissiveness that pervades some people's homes; for permissiveness is interpreted by children as a lack of love. Again, I say, I don't need to lecture you on this. You are very mature and the learning of the years will assist you both as parents, I am most certain.
Nancy: I appreciate that, Daniel. You somewhat answered something I have been thinking about and that is how I am going to balance this with earning any income at all. But one of the philosophies of raising children in their early, early years is that they just have all of their needs met; not be permissive and get to do whatever they want to do, but as babies have their needs met, which means being held when they cry, and that sort of thing. I don't know how to do that and work. So that is something I am trying to figure that out, how to balance that. I do need a certain amount of income, but I also want to be there to nurture and meet all those emotional needs until she is separated enough from me that she can be on her own from me. Our culture is still not clear about that. We don't know where the appropriate lines are and there is such debates that go in different extremes. So, that's something I have been mulling over the last week or so.
Daniel: Remember that Jesus put his family first and delayed his work until the needs of his family were met, as a good father/brother in Joseph's stead. My advice is that you put the nurturance of this baby first, absolutely first, and trust that the promise of care and sustenance for you by your caretakers will meet your needs. But there is no one who can replace you as parent, as mother. You will have to work from day to day on these very real situations . It is a time of change for you, PamElla, for you are moving from a sense of self which is connected with your work and has been so strongly, to now a sense of self as parent of this, your baby. A new experience for you. I don't have anything else that I can be more specific.
Nancy: You were very specific, thank you. I agree. Certainly you just said what my "knowing " says.
Daniel: This is my last word, which is always the same word: Go within. Bring everything into the presence of your Thought Adjuster. You will receive infallible assistance. Trust that the guidance that you hear and feel is trustworthy; not the flighty emotional leadings that may come to your mind but the solid, comfortable rock solid feeling of guidance that may feel as though it is in this part of your body(points to mid-chest), that assurance. For you can be sure that guidance sincerely asked for will be given. You know this from your own experience already, and it will continue to be true.
I am now going to honor my TR's discomfort with his throat and bring us to a conclusion. Let us all stand and join hands.
My Father, I give you thanks for these little ones, my brothers and sisters who have allowed me to offer my guidance, my comfort over these many years. I thank you for the Spirit of Michael that dwells in all of us so that we can aspire to the kind of unbroken connection with You that Michael experienced in his final humanity perfection. May each of these feel the faith within them welling up to joy, to worship, and to the great anticipation of one day standing in Your very presence. Even so, may it be. Amen.