2002-04-21-Achieving Self Awareness

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Teaching buddha small.jpg


Topic: Achieving Self-Awareness

Group: N. Colorado TeaM


Teacher: Rayson

TR: Daniel



Good afternoon students, this is Rayson. Welcome to our biweekly session. As this is a difficult subject as you may have already determined, we will now begin the second half of this lesson, the first half we had two weeks ago. I would like you to tone the Om four times please. Do not be reticent to be loud, and do not restrain your throat to be quiet but let it flow from you with heart with gusto and let it resonate throughout your body, and your mind and the environment around you (pause)


See your individual energies as water flowing into a pool. Some of you will have a large volume and some of you will have little. This is not a regular thing but can change from day to day and week to week; but today, please do this and visualize this. We wish to have you draw upon an even energy source today; we wish you to lend your strengths to those who have less today, and those who have less may draw upon this to equalize themselves, so those with more are also equalized. We are developing a strength, a rapport in the group today, as you have needs for attention when you are less observant, and those of you who are hyper-vigilant may lend your energies to those who need it, thus being more relaxed and able to deal with your issues that you will be working on in a more relaxed manner.

Two weeks ago we began directing your awareness, your attention, to the issues that hold you back from growth; those things that are intimate to your life, to your psyche, to your well being. Those things which you know best, but which you may not be conscious of on a regular daily minute by minute basis. We handed out sticky notes to you to write down the issues that you wanted to work on, to be placed in strategic places. Even if the statement simply said, "Be attentive." "Be self-observant." "Why am I reacting?" "What is the issue here?" "Is it my problem?" "Is it their problem?" "Why am I reacting?" These are notifications to you as you drive in your car, or doing otherwise throughout the day to become much more self-aware, to develop your self-consciousness. For in self-consciousness, you can live life actively, inter-actively, co-creatively! And that is the most powerful place to be for overcoming your issues.

You have seen many people in your society, I think you call them "couch potatoes," who watch TV all the time and are really not in their body or in their mind, they are out there in the screen. They are not even living life vicariously they are being entertained. They are "smoking on the opium pipe" of modern society. And so it is a very harmful, deleterious habit to get into, to be unawake, unconscious, un-self-aware, to be living in an alternative reality, which has no reality to itself, other than the fiction, or even the news on TV.

So these notes are to help your self-awareness, they are little "pinpricks," as your mother or grandparent may have done at church they would pinch you a little bit in church to awaken you to listen to the sermon, to listen to the service, not to fall asleep. Of course, grandpa may have gotten pinched too, huh, as he was falling asleep. This is to live life, being awake. Living life unawares, as some of your philosophers have said, is not to live at all, but a life that is wasted; this has been said by eastern and western and middle-eastern philosophers for centuries. Live a life that is conscious, moment to moment.

Yes, I do know that some of you have jobs that are very distracting, which require production, continuity of thought, from one task to another so that you have a chain of tasks throughout the day. We would hope that you would take time to turn away from your computer monitor, and turn your chair to face a window, look at a bird outside, to pay attention to another reality. Some of you do this at stop signs. Some of you do this at coffee breaks, where you take time apart to disengage from your work life. This produces a life that is very productive for your employer and earns you a good living, but does not really contribute to your spiritual development and the morontial skills and talents that lie dormant within you.

And how many of you are conscious and aware while interacting with your fellow workers when there is a problem and to be self-aware as a child of Michael, to look at this exchange and reflect on it in a spiritual manner, for spiritual benefit, for its soul growth? And that is what this is all about: how to augment the development of your soul in ways that are far more productive than living life unconsciously. When you live this way, you become aware that there are ethical decisions to be made many times a day. There are moral decisions that you need to engage in or contemplate. Perhaps you do not have to make decisions concerning that, but in your mind if you suppose that you were in that position, what would your intent be for an ethical decision? Whether it is helping a clerk make the right change and giving them back what is truly due to the mercantile firm, or whether it is dealings with labor and management, whether it is with customers and policy. If you engage these issues, these areas, with ethical and moral consideration, what you can learn from it, how would you live this situation through as a morontial being? Then you will gather much growth from this.

And dear ones, if you live your life for 30 or 40 years working for others, task to task, minute to minute, and learned very little through this process of self-consciousness, what will you do when you retire? Do you think you will learn this automatically and quickly? I think not! These are skills that are developed, much like tennis, running, handball, hockey, flying an airplane these are skills that are developed and these are skills that can be lost. These are skills that you must maintain. So these sticky notes are little pinpricks, little jabs in the ribs to wake up, to remind you. And if you have lived a life that is unconscious from minute to minute, then when you see these, these are reminders to wake up. Your sticky note may say, "What am I thinking?" "What is my agenda?" "What is my intention for this moment?" It is very challenging to have this in front of you, but you have engaged this Teaching Mission, this series of lessons in earnest. I know you have. And you are not here for entertainment, for this is not entertainment, this is hard work! This is some of the hardest work you will experience as a mortal.

So, are there any questions concerning this base that we laid two weeks ago? I apologize that I may run over you and continue my talk, and you may have a question laden in your throat, so please, ask away! And if you have not formulated one, please say as you would to a good friend, "Oh wait a minute, I’m formulating a question. I need a bit more time." I’ll be most glad to delay continuing. Or was the question, "What was the lesson last time?" That’s why I do these little reviews each time, to remind you, to bring you back up to speed.

We have already covered a part of today’s lesson, and that is, "What are these notes for?" These notes are reminders to bring your consciousness, self-awareness up moment to moment, minute to minute. And if you do work in a job where you do not have this opportunity, then you might want to, on the hour, every hour, turn aside, look out the window and contemplate for one minute, 60 seconds! Surely your employer can allow you to do that. Or perhaps you will want to drink lots more tea and go to the bathroom more often, and as you are there, you could ask the same questions seriously! Your body is occupied doing "It’s thing" and your mind is on idle; It’s a wonderful time to ask those questions. It sounds facetious and perhaps out-of-place, but it really is not, for consciousness resides in you every moment.

I will pose a question for you, and I will not provide you with the answer this time. What would it be like to have self-consciousness while you sleep? Think about that. Now as you read this transcript, some of the questions I posed a few minutes ago may be ones that hit your buttons. If so, those are the ones you should use. Please write them down, and put them in places where you can answer the question. Questions are usually good because they require a conscious mind to address that question in that moment. Later, when you find that the question has lost It’s vibrancy, switch to another question, so that you are always alert, and don’t take the answers for granted for having known them already. Write these questions out.

There are only two arenas in which you will find that your process of self-discovery will be most productive. The first is your relationship to yourself. When you consider your relationship to yourself, do you have a "parental mind", a "parental voice," do you have a "child voice," do you have a "teacher voice," "student voice," that my have old condemnatory statements like, "Shame on you, why did you do that?" "You’re so stupid!" "You’re so slow!" "Why don’t you hurry up?" "Shame on you!" "What are these other people going to think of me?" "What are these other people going to think of you?" Do you have voices as these in your mind, chastising you, berating you, and belittling you? If you do, It’s time to turn those voices off. They and their statements are not doing you any good, but in fact, holding you back from becoming everything that you can become. It is unproductive. That berating, belittling, parental voice or the peer voice is the authority voice. If you have this, then you need to extinguish it. We will begin teaching you how to do this.

And what would your first statement be? "I am in charge of my life!" "I no longer heed the demeaning, parental voice of authority any longer!" "I am an adult! I can make up my own mind." "I choose what I wish to think!" "I choose what thoughts occupy my mind!" "There is no room in my mind for demeaning, denigrating, belittling opinions or voices!" "I am a child of God who is becoming perfect!" (The emphasis here is on "becoming.") The kernel of perfection may be within you, but you are not perfect, I am not perfect but we are becoming perfect. This will take many hundreds of thousands of years on your traverse to Paradise to become perfect, as the Father in Heaven. Therefore, we want to nurture this kernel of perfection you are in the process of becoming. And as you become, other things must diminish and wither away. The voices that demean you, belittle you, put you down, make you feel less than, must be silenced and put away.

I want you to become aware of those voices. Your chore these next two weeks is to identify those voices that hold you back. If you do nothing else in two weeks, do that. Only if you identify, that’s all you need to do. If you wish to move forward, the second step would be to identify where that voice is coming from. Whose voice was that? Whose voice is that? Perhaps it is your voice? If so, you have become the conscious voice of whomever programmed that into you. You have taken over their voice. And this is the most insidious thing that demoralizes many people: to have unwittingly, unconsciously, taken on the voice of the demeaning authority figure.

What we want to do is much like a beautiful floribunda rose. Do you know what a floribunda rose is? (No, I don’t know.) Thank you! A real, live response! A floribunda rose is one that has many, many, many little buds and blooms. The other type of rose is one that has just two or three or four, and they are much larger. So we accept that every thing about you is beautiful, and even the voices of authority that were in your lives so many years ago, they were beautiful too, for they were there to help form your character. But now it is time to pinch off those buds so that the other buds may bloom and grow bigger. The energy that flows through this stem of life, yes, your own merkaba, your core energy shaft, must now flow into the master consciousness part of your own being, that which you wish to have bloom to It’s fullest in this mortal lifetime.

The tasks that we are setting out for you in these lessons are very simple: Eliminate that which diminishes your greatness and nurture those things that help you flourish. That’s it! But the key tools to this, are two: One is consciousness, becoming aware of those things which diminish your greatness; and two, the expression of will to do something about that. And what is that? That is to make a choice. Consciously make a choice! And make that choice every time you hear that voice that diminishes your greatness. The choice will be to command it to be gone.

If any of you have been addicted to something such as cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, bad relationships, anger any of these things then you know where we are going with this. Every time this comes up for you, you say, "I choose peace." "I choose to make my own decisions!" "I direct my life!" "I’m in charge of my life!" "I no longer listen to the small voice inside me, the authoritative voice of parent to child." "I make the decisions." "I no longer listen to this voice that diminishes me!" "I am responsible for my life, and I now change my life to greatness. I choose greatness! I choose the Christ Consciousness, and I nurture that in me!" Oh yes, in the beginning when you first become conscious of this process, you may do this hundreds of times a day! Like the alcoholic who finds some stress during the day, "I need a drink!" Someone who has anger management problems, "man I’d like to break that guy’s face!" Say, "No, It’s not him, It’s me. I am in control. This is my life. This is my only shot at mortality to augment my morontia life, to choose greatness, to fill my soul with good decisions rather than leaving it empty." You may have several voices in your mind that attack you, or berate you or belittle you. You can deal with all of them as easily as you can one. Begin to identify them; name them, whether It’s a, b, c, d or 1, 2, 3 or any other names you want to give them, and if there is a person behind that name, then that is them!

And that leads us to the second point: The second point that needs to be handled is forgiveness. You remember the parable of the Apostle who said, "How many times must I forgive? One time, seven times, seven times seven?" my friends, the real truth of that parable is you must forgive every time you remember it, or you come to anger, or you come to emotional energy. And this is the criterion that you will use to test whether you are healed or not, is your emotional reaction. I would wager that each one of you could think of a name and a situation in the past that would raise your heart rate, make you perspire, and make your blood pressure go up. If you do, you are having an emotional reaction to that situation, whether it was last week, or 20-30 years ago. But the way you ascertain whether you are effective in your forgiveness is the degree of emotional energy that you have in reaction to this person or this situation.


Student: That’s the static charge, you’re talking about.

Rayson: Yes, exactly. Every time you think of this person, and sometimes you don’t want to think of them, and they call you up on the telephone, and they’ll rattle you. This is the most potent time to see if you are effective in your consciousness! I chortle about that because it is very difficult and it is very forgivable to react and then later on, have regrets about reacting.

But in time, my friends, as you continue this process, the person will call you on the phone and they will say, "Hello, this is so-and-so," and in your mind, you say, "I forgive you. There is no energy here in this conversation. I am in the Christ Consciousness. The mind of Christ now speaks through me. I am at peace." "Yes, what did you have to say? What did you call me about?" "Oh, yada yada yada " "Hmm, very interesting. All right, I will deal with that. Good bye." And then you get off the phone and proceed with what you were doing.

Yes, I know, the most difficult situations you have are those that are ongoing, that are not resolved. These require the greatest, heightened, most energetic Christ Conscious mind possible! You cannot escape this situation, you cannot remove yourself from it, it is there and you have to deal with it. Yes, you could cope with it; you could get off the phone, stand in the middle of the room and just scream, or go to the gym and work out and beat up a punching bag, or run your feet into the ground for many miles. That’s coping. That really helps the body to maintain its longevity, but what about the mind? The mind has no other release. Yes, I know the endorphins from exercise can help you, they will calm you, you will feel better, and you can smooth over or melt or soften the situation through exercise and coping mechanisms, but what about when this happens again? So it is a matter of personal control and mastery. This is living mastery, the mastery of life and living in a difficult society on a difficult planet.

Student: So these series of incidences will be closed and are closed when the static charge is removed through the forgiveness and love.

Rayson: Yes. Now, there is much more to say about that. The static charge is just so much language but you feel the emotional energy in anger or resentment, hostility, jealousy, envy it could be any number of negative emotions--and if you have those feelings, then you need to forgive yourself, forgive that person and to master the situation by saying these affirmations. These affirmations become rather a mantra; they are a way of programming your mind. You’ve heard of people belonging to cults that need to de-program from those learning experiences, that is what is necessary to remove negative training, negative indoctrination. But your mind is programmable, and therefore, you want to program it with successful software, successful programs, programs that support your life of successes. The reasons why many people go to listen to positive speakers, Anthony Robbins, and others, but remain unsuccessful is that the old programs of failure and diminishment are still running in their minds.

What you will experience as you take more and more mastery of your mind and control of it, and releasing the negative, authority voice from your mind, and forgiving those past experiences, is that there will be less and less color or emotional reaction to these situations. Eventually, you will go from graphic, real life, full color videos to the little 2 X 2 black and white negatives of that picture there’s no energy there anymore there’s memory, but there is no energy. And you will know you are making success because you have less and less reactions to these situations.

I am going to give an example which I know will make Daniel uncomfortable, but I must because it was first proposed by a very wonderful teacher, a Melchizedek named Ahsha, who assisted Daniel in writing the book Sacred Relationships, a Guide to Authentic Loving. There is a chapter in there called, "Forgiveness." And under the sub-title of the chapter is "Ah-ha!" The "Ah-ha" is that when you get to final forgiveness, you realize that your nemesis, the person who has caused you so much difficulty, is actually the teacher of your weakness, and that they are simply a personification of the weakness that you must overcome. That is a different way of thinking about this person, isn’t it? It is a very powerful way of thinking about it. Let us develop this further. This chapter was a tremendous "Ah ha" for Daniel and it was a very powerful and exciting chapter to write because he experienced many levels of forgiveness that he had never experienced or tried before.

Another technique of forgiveness is to put yourself in the shoes of your nemesis, the person who was or is causing you such difficulty. And this may be in the present time, or some time in the past. And what you are trying to do here is not to become like that person, but to understand the motivation of why this person would treat you this way. What causes, what thoughts, what motivations and beliefs would course through this person that they would treat you so unkindly? And when you do this, you will begin to understand what formed them and why they behave this way. And then you will realize that they have lots of work to do too, to forgive themselves, to forgive who taught them, and to re-program their thinking. And you realize and come to understand why they treated you that way. And when you understand that, then it becomes more likely that you can forgive them. You begin to understand and think about the forces that it would take to form a person of that personality. Their meanness, or difficulty or contrariness, the person is so controlling, dominating what forces would be required to form a personality that way? For each of you came into the world very equal, then grew from an innocent child into a dominating, berating, controlling figure. The point of this is to understand them and to forgive them for what they have done. They do not do it just to you they do it to everyone! And you say, "I forgive them. I understand what brought them to that point. It hurt me, but I forgive them; I understand why they did that. I do not like their behavior, but I know that they too are a child of God, of equal value to the Creator. They are my mortal brother or sister, and I forgive them." Again, if this person is alive and continues to treat you this way, on a daily basis or periodically, your chore is much more difficult. Tremendously difficult!

But also think of the rewards of living consciously with this nemesis in your face from day to day or week to week. It requires the utmost of your own budding, growing, Christ Consciousness, consciousness of the master, to live consciously in the moment, not only to control your behavior and your thoughts and your emotions, but more importantly, to understand the motivations of that person and to have already forgiven them. We do not expect that you will learn this lesson in a week or two weeks; you'll be very fortunate if you learn this in two years. The degree of your progress is determined by your conscientiousness to apply these lessons of consciousness to your daily and hourly lives, minute to minute. For example, if you know that you are going to see this person, or if you know that you are going to visit someone who will be talking continually about your nemesis, then you know that you will need to gear up and get ready for what she will present you with when you go there. If you expect a phone call or a visit from someone who is a nemesis, then you will need to gear up for that too. And if you have a notebook, or something that you will be referring to during the conversation with them, put a sticky note on some of the pages "I remain in master consciousness."

These are very difficult lessons, but they are doable.’ The Avatars and masters of your planet have practiced these skills in their lives. Some were fortunate to be raised in very peaceful environments, peaceful families, and to come into this powerful consciousness easily, almost effortlessly. When they are confronted later on by difficult people, they are able to accept them where they are, as they are, but not let them impact them. But what does this mean for you when you are confronted by your nemesis? Does this mean you want to live as a placid individual, on a level playing field of all emotion? Of course not! What would you rather feel? Joy! Peacefulness! Satisfaction! Fulfillment! Happiness! Honorable camaraderie! Validating friendship! Loving social relations! To greet life with a cheery smile on your face; to wake up in the morning knowing that you are going to have a good day, and that you are the master of that day. Carpe diem! Seize the Day! That means to be the master of it, the master of the day! That is a far different position than being the victim of your own emotional reactions.

Now, let us go into a technique Excuse me, was there a question?

Student: Yes, Rayson, do we each have a personal nemesis, or had a personal nemesis?

Rayson: No, not necessarily.

Student: Is it like, are we going to search for this person until we find this person! [Rayson laughing.] You know, are we wasting our time here trying to find somebody who’s not there? How do we know?

Another student: Because you have a sticky note!

Third student: Those of us, who know, know!

Rayson: That’s right, those of you who know, know!

Student: I guess that was my point. What if you search through your consciousness for this being [[[nemesis]]] and you can’t find them?

Rayson: Blessings to you! You are at peace! Thank the ground that YOU walk on! (That it is still and doesn't shake beneath you.)

Fourth Student: I’ve got lots of them, I could loan you some. [Someone else said, "Ditto!" I’d GIVE them to you.]

Rayson: Yes, yes, remarkably in your society, in this nation and in this century on this planet, there are individuals who are at peace, who have no nemesis, whose only chore is to realize the greatness within them and then to express it. If this is the case for you, dear son, then your challenges are surely as great as others, for your responsibilities now are to expand your greatness as the master consciousness, without a nemesis, to search yourself and what you would like to become and what you would like to express.

Student: Don’t get me wrong! I have had a nemesis many I have dealt with them, and no longer have relationships that concern me. Let’s put it that way. (Rayson: Even in your thinking? Reflections of those times?) Hmm, well if I reflect upon those times, It’s usually because someone else has brought them up. (And what happens?) I go through them again and think, "Well, gee, I really don’t care about that." (Good) It’s not something I’m concerned with. It is perhaps something the person who brought it up is concerned with, but I’m not. (You do not compulsively dwell on them?) No, I do not. (And they do not bedevil you?) No, they do not. (They do not act like a nemesis, a thorn in your side?) No, They’re out of my consciousness. (Excellent!)

Rayson: This is where the others in the group will want to go with your lives, with your nemeses, is to put them aside. And one technique to do that is to literally, in a psychodrama, in your thinking, confront that individual, in the moment that you think of them, because their only power is in your thinking. So if you change your thinking about how you deal with them, you will change the whole scenario. And what you do, this is one technique, is as a mighty parent or a mighty personage, raise yourself up so you are 100 feet tall. And you grasp that individual gently and you put them on a shelf at eye level in front of you. And you say, "Stay there! This is where you belong." And you say, "I do this out of love and caring for you and for myself. You have no more relevance to me. I go back to my life now, as I was, without you." And then you shrink down to your current height, and you look up at the shelf, 100 feet above and there they are. They might be railing and shouting in the air, but you do not hear them. They are removed from you. They still exist, but they have no effect upon you. And in your consciousness, every time you hear their voice, you recall (snapping fingers) just like that, that they are on the shelf, and you have set them aside, and they are no longer demeaning to you, no longer demanding attention in ways that cause you grief.

Let us go back again to this psychodrama. I understand in this country one must be a professional psychotherapist or psychiatrist, trained in this sort of activity, to be licensed, insured, totally buttoned up and secure with legal systems and professional credentials. However, nothing prevents you from doing this yourself, on your own. I will not guide you through that here, for I am not credentialed, in terms that are recognized by your society, or your culture, your government. So, go back to those scenes where you were confronted by this individual. And this is where you may want to have an ice cube in your hand, to stay grounded in the moment, okay? Deliberately, consciously engage this person in that memory, and the ice cube keeps you grounded in this moment so you do not sucked up in your own psychodrama that you created, and are once more trounced.’ Do you understand the importance of the ice cube?

Student: To feel something other than what’s going on in your mind.

Rayson: Right, it keeps you grounded in the moment, outside of that memory, so you can come back to this moment easily. And you go back, with ice cube in hand, to remind you that you are in this moment, in this hour, in this location, and you are safe. That is what the ice cube is for; you’re safe, nothing can harm you, this is just your thinking, and the person in your memory is just a memory; they can’t do anything to you, except what your mind allows. And then with your will,’ you are taking charge of this situation that you remember in your mind, in your memory. In your consciousness, you replace yourself (the child or whoever you were in that situation,) with a more powerful you.’ It may be that you see yourself with Christ Michael/Jesus, with his arm around you, and you speak to this person and you say, "You no longer have any power over me, these are just old memories. I do not allow you to abuse me any longer. You treated me inappropriately; the words you said were harsh and uncalled for and inappropriate, for I was just a child. I did not know better; I had no power. But now I know better; I have the Christ mind with me when I tell you, you are forgiven for what you have done; do this no longer in my memory. Now be gone from me," then you put them on the shelf.

And each time this memory comes back to you, you relive the empowerment of yourself in that moment with Christ Michael/Jesus by your side, Nebadonia shining behind you, gloriously, over whelming the person in front of you as you speak. And you know that your guardian angel is there with you, for she has most concern for you in the immediacy of your life now in this moment. Whatever you need to say to this person, you say to them. You do not berate them or belittle them. You do not chastise them; you do not beat them up. You cause them no harm, but you speak to them responsibly as a master would speak to his disciples, or to the man along the way, or to the woman at the well. You speak forthrightly, you speak powerfully, you speak masterfully; you let your Thought Adjuster speak through you. And if you are uncertain about what to say, turn to your Guardian Angel and ask her, "What do you think I should say now?" And she will tell you, and then you say that to this person. And you say to your mind and you say to them, "You no longer have any legitimate space in my mind. Be gone from me! I set you aside; I cannot forget you, but I forgive this, I no longer hold any energy in this memory." And my friends, every time this memory comes to you, you go through the same scenario each time!

And as you become more courageous and more empowered, you may ask this person, your nemesis, "Why did you do this? What caused you to do this?" And almost invariably they will say, "I did not know any better, I was ignorant." And then you may ask them to apologize to you, and they will. And if they don’t, then they will be back in memory and you will go back to this empowering process again and again until they do. And if they don’t ever apologize, then you are big enough in your masterful mind to say, "I forgive you anyway, be on your way, I release you, you have no power over my thinking or my mind, or my memories. I reclaim this space in my mind. I reclaim this static energy to become dynamic energy of love to flow through my life, and it flows through my life now."

This, my friends, is some of the most powerful exchanges you could ever experience in your life! Yes, it is a challenge to do public speaking in front of a 100 or 300 or 1000 people, but it is incredibly powerful and daunting, to confront your enemies in your memories, and this you must do. If you go to the grave with these memories, without healing these things, you will have done yourself a tremendous disservice. You will have minimized the amount of interaction you can have with the spiritual potential that lays within you. Yes, you came into this life with lessons to learn, and they are here abundantly. You also came into this life to express the potential that lies within you, to approach the morontial, even in this lifetime.

Many of you forget about, or set aside, keep out of consciousness, the old memories, those things which haunt you, hold you back, and you become over-achievers and you strive hard and you work hard, you’re diligent, you become experts, you know all that is to be known in your field, and you become acclaimed by your society and your professional guilds, but you do not deal with the old memories. Our wish for you is that you exit this mortal lifetime with a clear memory bank; no one to forgive; no old memories haunting you; no one at your deathbed saying, "Ha ha, I got you!" At that time, transiting out into the morontial, being clear with a full heart of love, no darkness locked up in memories of regrets, resentment, hatred, loathing, but a heart full of love and your passage into the morontial will be very easy. And your work to do on the other side will be minimized for getting rid of things, though you will have much to learn, of course.

Now, let us say that after a year of working on these things, you feel much better. I suppose you’re thinking, "Oh Rayson, you keep upping the ante on us here!" But let us think of that time when you lay on your deathbed: You have become gravely ill, you know that death is at your side, and that soon you will be not of this realm any longer. Now, in this supposed scenario, are there any, will there be any nemeses remaining? Is there anyone who will have the last laugh on you in your lifetime? This is kind of a metaphor or a parallel for hitting the total button on your life’s course; are there any enemies left, or only friends and those who love you? If you find people who are enemies or nemesis, then there is forgiveness to do. And yes, even in a future mind situation, you can take this situation and forgive that individual. You can be in this scenario on your deathbed, empowering yourself to forgive that person. And you say, "I’m about ready to check out, I’m about to become morontial, you have no power over me, I forgive you. The memories of you do no longer bother me. I reclaim all the energy, the dynamic energy of God’s love for my life to give to others and to give to myself."

So when you think about your little sticky notes, they have much more to do with your morontia life than you think; they have much more to do with soul growth and soul-filling experiences and decisions than you possibly could realize. For it is only through the development of consciousness of the moment, from moment to moment, that you can make these decisions to live life consciously.

This lesson will not be repeated, two weeks ago and this one. This is a summation of these two lessons. They are here for you to peruse, to examine, and to apply to your lives. If you do have questions now or in future weeks as you work through your scenarios, your memories, the nemesis of your life and you have questions, please bring them forward. We have given you the larger aspects of this work, and this is surely enough for you to work on at this time. There are much deeper lessons concerning these very same issues in the morontia schools. And if you work through these successfully, in this lifetime, in the next year or two or five, then you will be brought to higher levels of consciousness and to new levels of morontial awakening and lessons to learn on those lower levels, here, during your mortal lifetime. I encourage you to engage this process, rather eagerly and even aggressively, attentively, for if I know that if it were a five-year program, you probably will not have engaged it, but only doing it piecemeal as you have done in years past. If you engage this attentively, diligently, you truly can overcome immense emotional hurdles in probably two years or three years at most. You see the limitations that exist in your mind and memories are finite; there are only so many of them. Remove one and It’s like pulling apart a gift; you pull a ribbon, and the knot comes undone and all the contents begin to fall out. So when you begin on one problem you will be presented with many, but the resolution can be very rapid.

Student: I notice we tend to set the same problem up over and over until we do go for the resolution.

Rayson: Yes, that is another aspect that I have not brought up, which we have alluded to earlier. Whereas, sometimes your problems come up only through your memories, sometimes you bring problems to you. You attract them to you to work through in real life, to work through them over and over again. You can see this in the lives of some people, where they were raised in a home environment, and the first mate that they married emulated many of the aspects of the dysfunction in their original family. That is an attempt to heal those wounds of their parental family in the marital relationship with a new partner. many times individuals are unsuccessful because they are not conscious of what they have attracted to themselves, and so they may repeat it with another mate, another partner. This is also done in business, as you know too.

Student: I have a dear friend that married four wives, the first two were like mom, and the next two were the opposite. And he still has not resolved those issues.

Rayson: He should try number five! [Chuckling] If he were conscious of this process, number five would be much gentler to his life.

Student: Rayson, I thought about that question you posed before, the question about (I’m having a Senior moment Oh, I hate that!) about Dreams, lucid dreaming would be the answer. (Rayson: You are correct.) You could actually be doing ÍworkÌ while you are asleep. (Exactly!) That would be an amazing gift!

Rayson: It is very possible, and many of your friends and others do lucid dreaming. You can call this into existence when you retire at night after meditating. Upon entering bed, go into prayer and ask your guardian angel to assist you in learning the lessons lucidly from your life experience. Often times during the day, your mind will protect itself from these harsh realities of memory, and present you with a metaphor that you can resolve in a lucid manner. And you can observe yourself in this situation, and much as a play director, you can change the outcome, you can change the playacting of the characters. This is a higher-minded development. You can accomplish much work in the growth of your personality and forgiveness through your sleep time in lucid dreaming. It sets up scenarios where your conscious mind can then deal with them more peacefully and easily and powerfully later, during your waking state.

You may also wish to ask your guardian angel and your celestial teacher to take you to class, a classroom situation, to teach you objectively as you would go to a night class at the community college, where you would sit in a classroom and they would discuss issues with you and teach you that way. This has occurred many, many, many times with this subject here. You can experience this and come away in the morning with new insights about higher wisdom. Thank you for striving to answer the question! You are quite correct, it is lucid dreaming, and it can be augmented through conscious and deliberate and intentional engagement with your celestial, and angelic teachers in your dream states.

If you make your wish repeated, and you prepare your body and your mind for sleep and engagement of this sort, you will surely be given this opportunity, and still wake in the morning, very refreshed and rested.

Student: I’ve been experiencing some of that where I am watching myself in a dream, and actually coaching myself to one of them was five CRT’s in a row that I was supposed to dial in, and I was going from one to another, and I told myself, just fix one, just fix one! I got that dialed in.

Rayson: Yes, this is preparing you to do this during the daytime. Be self-observing. Do these two lessons make sense? Do they provide you with new tools? (Yes. Yes, Rayson.) Good. Are they too demanding for you? (No answer.) They’re demanding, right? [Group laughing nervously.] (Yes, very demanding!)

Student: We were doing Gestalt therapy, I guess they call it psychodrama now, back in the 70Ìs in some groups we were in, and the person who introduced me to the Urantia Book was the counselor, and we had groups where we would place the piggy parent, the voice from the past or our nemesis in a chair and speak to it, as a child, as if we were a current adult, and take back the power and closing the situation with forgiveness and love. And part of our instruction was that it was not closed until it was closed with love. That’s the key that takes the energy out of it. (Rayson: That’s correct!) And so I think that most of my nemeses are up there on that shelf. I Haven’t checked on them recently. I think they’ve turned to dust. (That’s good.) But if anybody wants minor help in this kind of technique, I will lend that, my experience.

Rayson: Any other thoughts? (pause) Busy minds! Be at peace, please!

Student: Thank you Father for our vicissitudes, for they will turn to strength!

Student: I’ve heard that it takes as long as it takes! That brings peace. (Yes)

Rayson: You have not chosen easy lives. But in doing so, you have chosen lessons that are powerful, and which will remain with you in your memories. As you recall, in the long future ahead, you will have these to draw upon for wisdom: the empowerment that you gain from these memories, in over-coming the difficulties of those situations. To hearten your sense of overcoming, know that when you engage new situations that seem harsh and unfair and abusive, you will be able to deal with those with a new mind-consciousness. You will be self- empowered, and you will not tolerate that, and you’ll say, "One moment, that’s abusive, I don’t need to hear that. Thank you, do you have something else you’d like to tell me?" And get on with it. You do not have to accept this into your life; you are empowered, you have the same authority, the same legitimacy of existence as anyone else. If someone is abusive, tell him or her, "You are abusive, this is demeaning of me and I am not worthy of this. Please change the subject or talk about something else." And if they are unable to do so, then you really have no more business with them.

What would Jesus want of you? This is not a rhetorical question. What would he want of you to become and to express? Think about this. This is not a rhetorical question; this is part of the lesson. What would Jesus want you to express and become? And whatever this is for you in your thoughts right now, this is what you will carry with you. For each of you have a unique answer to that. If you wish to share them, I would be glad to listen.

Student: I believe he would want the best example of brotherhood that I can become. (Okay, another?)

Student: I believe he would want us to teach those of us and the world that are interested in understanding some of the concepts in the Urantia Book, and the higher ideals and values that we come to learn through our lives, and to pass those on to those who are interested in understanding them. (Thank you. Another?) [Long pause].

Rayson: Well, thank you. You have thoughts about your own lives and your situations and you have power and you have will; will that is unexpressed, leaves you un-empowered then. So use your will, make decisions about your mind, and what you want in it. And the memories you want in it; you can choose. It’s like going down a rack of blouses or shirts at the store saying to yourself, "I want this one, I want this one, not that one, oh no, that’s ugly, nope, can’t have that, yes, I want this one it would look good in my life! Umm, I can wear this well; I will have this one! Not that one, nope, I reject that, I set it aside. That can be for someone else if they choose." So pick and choose the memories that you want to keep, and discard those you don’t want to. Do this consciously. Do this willfully. Do this powerfully.

I thank you for your attendance and your attentiveness this afternoon. I know that some of this lesson is very heavy, it is shocking, it is empowering, it is good for you to think about, and it is even better for you to apply. You have your work cut out for you, but you have time. You have this lifetime; you have additional lifetimes, as much time as you need to take. And know that you are not left alone to do this by yourself, but that you have the seven mind Adjutant Spirits to assist you. You have your guardian angel; you have your Thought Adjuster. You are not alone. You can call upon your friends, your support team at any moment, EVERY moment, if you wish. Yes, every moment, to assist you to move forward successfully, powerfully in this life. What a joy it is to see those who were meek, to become strong. Those who were without power to become powerful benefactors of good in their world. We, of the Celestial Team, get to observe these things, as do the angels and others here. It is a wonderful, powerful lesson that is shared with many over the broadcasts in Nebadon. The victories of your personal lives are shared with others, and they become the victories of others. You are on TV, so to speak; your lives are on review. You are living examples of lives in challenge and lives in growth. You are witness to the power of Jesus in your lives, as example.

The wonderful benefit is that, when you have done this work, you will live a life that is much lighter, much more in joy, much more in peace expressing the potential of your fulfillment that lies before you, ready to blossom. The dynamic love of our Father/Creator/God is always in the flow. Unlock those bits of static energy of negative mind, of negative memories, release that into the flow and become part of it. Enjoy the greater flow of love in your lives. It is surely a joy for me to be here to present this to you, and assist you in these challenges. You are not alone, you can ask me questions, you can ask questions of your Thought Adjuster, your Guardian Angel, and any one of Michael’s hosts here on this planet. His spirit lies intimately close to you; you are each intimately connected to him and his spirit here on this planet at this time. His assistance is personal, immediate, and intimate. I really know that! I hope you do too.


Good day. (Thank you, Rayson.)

Student: I see a bunch of little gems, sitting around with slag all over them. This is the tumbler, for polishing the stones.

Student: [Group laughing.] That’s a good one, Jim! Round and round we go, knocking off the rough edges.