2003-05-06-Christ Forgave Me, Paul
Topic: Christ Forgave Me, Paul
Group: SE Idaho TeaM
Teachers: Paul, the Apostle, Daniel, Minearsia
TR: Bill K.
Grand and glorious, high and mighty, but beloved and close are You, dear Lord. Your majesty is not aloof, nor Your mercy condescending. We, Your children, rejoice to have Your name in our hearts. Tonight, settle upon these, my morontia associates, and these, my mortal associates, with Your gracious presence. May we all learn a little more about Your majesty, accept a little more the profundity of Your love, and be energized a little more to serve each other in humility and in joy. Amen.
Paul(Bill): Dear friends it is I, your brother Paul, granted once again the chance to visit with you, to socialize, to fraternize. My, you are a lively bunch these days! (Laughter) And your maturity is displayed in your willingness to share your true thoughts and feelings with those whom you perceive to be, as they are, at a more advanced level of ascension or of status. Believe me, I am no stranger to controversy! In fact, I was willing to take on the other "apostles" when my authority, which I had received from our Lord Jesus, was challenged.
There is no shame or virtue in disagreement, per se. It is really not a moral issue. It is your right as a mortal faith son to present your point of view and your understanding. It is wise, however, always to present your understanding cognizant of your own limitations. As long as you accept in humility the fact that you are finite, incomplete, evolving, and you don't know it all, there is no problem in presenting your point of view. As I just said, it is neither virtuous nor shameful. My sense of your camaraderie these days is that it has moved past the polite stage to true family feelings, where the underlying love that you each have for the other supports your true importance as individuals, to the extent that you can each express yourselves, and in your diversity of thought your bonds of love keep you from fragmenting and shattering as a group. You have enough love and enough trust in each other and in your teachers that you can voice your doubts and protest when you do not understand. The original apostles reached that level of intimacy. In fact, as a result of some of their challenging questions such as Nathaniel gave in regard to the golden rule, Jesus' best teaching was called forth. So, should there be any lingering worry or amazement at the fact that you are now confident enough in your relationship to the Father, to Michael, the Son, to Mother Spirit and to your celestial staff that you can express your doubts, this we can regard as evidence of maturity. [Ed. Note: Paul is referring to the earlier discussion of the previous transcript where there was much doubt and protest to the announcement of "graduating".]
Now you say, "Paul, we welcome you, but we wonder why you are here?"
Ken: You read my mind, Paul! (Chuckles)
Paul: Friends, I am here because it is my joy to be here. It was my request to come.
Ken: It is our pleasure.
Paul: Thank you. I have told you this in the past, that you people remind me emotionally and spiritually of my mortal career and of the associates I had; and of the excitement and the reality of our understanding and experiencing of the risen Christ, and of the power of the message of salvation. You are well aware that I fashioned a new gospel. It was the result of me, as a Hebrew, trying to understand my childhood religion in the context of this new information and revelation of Jesus and the meaning of his life. You, on the other hand, now with the Fifth Epochal Revelation as it is contained on the pages of a book, know the real purpose of his death. It was not a sacrificial atonement for a fictitious original sin. This viewpoint that I helped foster is truly a retardant for spiritual growth in some cases. However, it is neither what I intended nor experienced in my transformation in meeting the Master.
My sense of forgiveness from Him was overwhelming. For I personally had led the charge to murder the followers of Jesus, whom I felt were heretics, blasphemers, liars, or at least greatly deluded men and women. I had believed that my religion, as a member of the sect of the Pharisees, was the highest religion in the entire known world. I thought that the followers of this blasphemer, this deceiver, this man who disregarded our laws, who associated with harlots and sinners of all sorts, were directly attacking the majesty of Yahweh. The fullness of my misunderstanding came over me when I sensed, though blind in my eyes, this spiritual light and presence of unconditional love which I had never known; and upon asking who it was, heard the reply, "I am Jesus, Whom you persecute". Can you imagine . .. how shattered I was?!! Then He said, "Stand up, I have work for you to do". In that moment I felt forgiven. Now, the record tells you that I went for three days without sight. I can't remember clearly, but I will accept that as a good estimate. It took me three days to recover from the shock of my understanding that I had totally misunderstood. Even so, I, in a sense a murderer,...yes a murderer, was forgiven!
Yes, of course, I had a natural intensity of zeal, I suppose you could say. I directed it against the Jesus brotherhood and then greatly enhanced, this same zeal now infused with the power of the Spirit, I then offered to our Father/Brother, the risen Jesus, to work for Him. Well, that is my story. How does this relate to you?
Like me, you have seen the light. It has not come to all of you in one blinding confrontation on the road of your life, but has come gradually and incrementally. We both have seen the light. Your failures, mistakes, and misunderstandings may not have been as dramatic as mine were, but you all have been willing to let the light show you a new path with different road signs along the way. Some of the road signs you have seen are: you have a divine nature as well as a human nature; listen to the guidance within; let your service be without ego satisfaction; be generous with all people; fear nothing. And there are many more. Perhaps the last sign that you have seen says, "Keep going. There will be sufficient signs to reach your destination".
I have been informed that last week was, shall we say, a momentous occasion. It came out of the blue and some of you fell on your knees in disbelief and objection. You asked the question, "Who are you? Is this authentic?", the same thoughts I had as I knelt in the light of the risen Master. But now you have processed through the week and at your meeting, and you understand that our Lord knows what He is doing; and that He may confront you in an unexpected way with His truth. Truth shatters the mirror that is smudged with falsehood and in its place provides a larger and far superior reflecting surface. To see the truth requires a mirror, for you must see yourself in the mirror at the same time that you see the truth.
My estimation of you as a group is that you do not suffer from the mistake of pride, from ego aggrandizement. You turn it around and suffer from false modesty. You are reluctant to accept congratulations. It is, as you have discussed, difficult to observe progress within yourselves. What I want to conclude with is this: Turn your eyes away from self contemplation. You will get a stiff neck looking at your navel! (Laughter)
Group member: Can we quote you?
Paul: Please do. Turn you eyes upon the fields that are white to harvest. Open your minds to accept the possibility, nay, the probability, no the certainty of new opportunity! None of you are out to pasture yet. The laborers in the field are still short. We need more. So, you can't retire yet. Yes, my recommendation is that you stop contemplating your own progress, whether it be the issue of agondonter, or worrying about graduation, any of these sorts of things. Let it go. Know that the gospel is: There is one God in Heaven, the Source of All. He is to all personal beings the true Parent, the Universal Father. Therefor you are all brothers and sisters, children of that one Source and Center. This is the good news, that there is neither Greek nor Jew, male nor female, slave nor free, Afghani nor American, Iraqi, nor Brit, Canadian nor Ecuadorian. None of these boundaries matter in the sight of our Parent, our Father, our Mother. We are all brothers and sisters.
The ramifications of this gospel are enormous, and if they were understood and believed, this gospel, this good news, this reality would transform this world instantly into Light and Life. But it won't happen this way. It will be the continuous work of sowing the seeds and remembering the Master's admonition not to grow weary or disheartened. Much of the efforts that you, do seem to come to nothing. This is simply the way of the wheels of evolution, my friends.
Finally, let me embrace you all with my fondest respect and deepest love. You live in exciting times. You are the new apostles, yes, for this new revelation of epochal proportions. Perhaps I will visit again. I leave you now in the good care of your teachers. Good night.
Group: Good night.
Daniel(Bill): This is Daniel. Hello, everyone. How nice to have Paul with us! Yes. Of course you know that I am from another planet in another part of Nebadon. But it is so fascinating to me to become more and more familiar with your planetary history, especially your spiritual heritage. Paul has evolved tremendously past the dynamic person he was on earth. He is a respected counselor and consultant to the Teaching Mission. While he was not personally present here, he used a method of communication which is now possible, given the circuitry status since the rebellion has been adjudicated. However, he can answer any questions you might have for him personally. Or you can direct your questions to me, Minearisa, or Aaron, who are all here tonight. So I welcome your interaction at this time.
LaReen: Daniel, a personal flash, curiosity question for Paul. While Paul was relating his story to us, his connection with the Master and the opening of his eyes, he was very emotional, almost as if it were fresh, as if it were yesterday. I assume as we graduate and we do our baby steps, I assume it was joy and awe of Father's mercy and love. Is it that fresh in Paul's heart and soul, the Father's mercy?
Daniel: I will let Paul answer.
Paul: I am Paul, via the circuitry. It is as though I am standing in the midst of you. So don't let the idea that I am on the telephone, as you think of it, dissuade you from how actually present I am, though not really. You did correctly experience my emotion; and while every recollection of my first meeting with the risen Jesus does not always bring about such a wave of emotion, it did so tonight. I don't dwell on this event in the course of my usual days. But to make a connection with you all I felt that a little sharing of that would be useful, would help us to connect. If you are asking me if the memories of the mortal life persist in that intensity, the answer is obviously, yes! Important memories in your mortal lives persist in intensity, do they not? (Yes) They will persist forever. The morontia mind is the mid-mind between the material and the spiritual. It is vastly greater than your experience of mind at this point. It does not require a total dumping of the mortal record from your consciousness. There is plenty of room for all that is valuable and all relationships are valuable. I don't recall many things from my mortal life, as you will not, either. But the important things, which are always about relationship, you will remember, as vividly as they may impress upon you their significance. Have I answered your question?
LaReen: Well, the curiosity part is that I felt your joy and awe toward Father. I didn't feel the pain of the realization of how you had misjudged. My curiosity question is . ..will we feel the pain in all this muck. Or will we just feel the joy of realization as we do our graduation?
Paul: The pain and the muck, as you stated it, is transformed by forgiveness. Whatever is not fully forgiven by yourself toward yourself, after graduation from the mortal life, will be accomplished. Yes, you felt no judgement in my emotions. That has long ago, even in the mortal life, been transformed. Yes, you did accurately catch the joy, the amazement of my coming to understand. I would remind you that I did not call myself a saint during my mortal life, but "Chief of Sinners". So, I carried that sense of enormous gratitude as a murderer who was reprieved. Now, that's the muck and bad stuff that I did, although I thought I was doing God's work. Now, I fully understand and there is no shame of self regret. Does that answer your question?
LaReen: Yes. Thank you very much.
Paul: And my dear, the same will happen to all of you. Hopefully you can get totally past any shame and guilt from this life. Hopefully you will never think, as some people do, that there is the "Unforgivable Sin". The unforgivable sin is the refusal to accept forgiveness, which is by its nature unforgivable because the sinner refuses to accept forgiveness. It is never that there is a category of mistake, sin, or iniquity so great that God and His representatives cannot forgive it. It is only in the heart of such an iniquitous one who will not accept forgiveness, for that would require admitting they were wrong. Their pride will not permit that. Other?
Bob D.: I had a thought while you were saying that. You said that you sincerely believed you were doing God's work when you actually were trying to kill the apostles. (Yes) Do you think the reason Jesus was capable of coming to you and impressing upon you so greatly was due to the fact that you were sincere, despite being misdirected in what you were doing? Somebody who was insincere in what they were doing may not have had the opportunity to recognize Jesus as you did?
Paul: Yes, of course, you are correct. Our Master knows us well enough to know that those who are willing to grow and change, to put their hands to the plow and not turn back, that to them He can entrust much responsibility. I do know, for a fact, that our Lord knew my heart. He knew that I would accept His forgiveness. I don't wish to convey a misconception here, however. Forgiveness is not conditioned by the attitude of the forgiven in the sense that there are people who are worthy of forgiveness and there are people who are not worthy of forgiveness. Forgiveness is offered to all. But in practice there is a differential. Only that one who is willing to accept forgiveness, can experience it. This is the same principle that you raised in your question. Jesus knew that I was sincere, just sincerely wrong. (hmmm) Yes. Have I answered your question?
Bob D.: Yes. It was one of those moments where the thought struck me. I had never put it together like that before. As you were saying what you were saying, it hit me.
Group: Sincerity, sincerity, and more sincerity!
Paul: Very good.
Daniel(Bill): I am Daniel. Are there other questions or commentary that you wish to make about anything, from today or other times?
Virginia: Daniel, I appreciated so much the imagery that I saw when Paul was talking about this mirror being shattered to be replaced by a greater reflector. I saw beyond myself a much greater aura or light of truth that actually did away with the shattered mirror so that it was a whole picture reflected again. I think about how often my mirror has been shattered only to see a different and greater reality! I guess that is part of admitting error so you can change and move on. It was a very beautiful picture with an aura behind the shattered mirror so that when I looked at my image it was whole, and not shattered. That shattering has got to be a continuing experience.
Daniel: Thank you Virginia for sharing your image. This was virtually exactly what I was transmitting to Isaac's mind. Think about this. Many people as they grow older experience a shattering mirror. When they look in their bedroom mirror they no longer see their younger attractive self. They see the lines and wrinkles of age, the fatigue of weariness, their hopes disappointed, their loves lost, and they despair. But we are speaking of a second thing happening, a new and larger mirror replacing the shattered pieces, just as you have described it, transforming into this larger and much clearer image. The image that appears in the new mirror is no longer the aged, lined, weary, and decrepit reflection, but is beautiful, young, and glowing with a quality of everlasting glory. What are we talking about? Seeing yourself as God sees you, as that Finaliter having completed all your ascension, having embraced the Spirit, the Son, and the Father. That's what you are looking at ultimately, yes.
Virginia: Thank you, Daniel.
Bob S.: I have a question for Paul, if he is still available. (He is) I have often wondered if there wasn't more to your conversion than just the episode on the road to Damascus where you were confronted by the Master. I wonder in earlier experiences when you were persecuting the Christians, that as you saw how they lived, and perhaps how they died , and learned more about them and the teachings of the Master, if that subconsciously had some effect on you so that when you were confronted on the road to Damascus, you were ready for the next step in your life?
Paul: This is Paul again. Well, I suppose you should direct that question to my Thought Adjuster, but it is not difficult to answer, my friend. Of course, observing the Christians, how they loved each other, how Stephen fearlessly preached his sermon as he was being stoned to death, impressed me enormously. But the effect was to strengthen my defenses, to go from conscious disapproval to conscious hatred, to keep back the thought that maybe this Jesus was the Messiah. Isn't it a truth that just before one changes their mind at a profound level they build the strongest conscious defense against such a change?
Bob S.: Yes! And actually do the behavior that they would say is reprehensible.
Paul: Well, my friend, you speak from your point of view. Israelis and Palestinians who are zealous for Allah and Yahweh still approve of killing. There are many among your Christian brethren who approve of war and approve of killing in the name of God. This idea is ancient and it was not inconsistent with my Hebrew religion.
Bob S.: Our psychologists understand that defense mechanisms have their place but they can be carried by the ego to extremes. We call that projection and reaction formation, where people do the things that consciously they find reprehensible. But their ego is such that it doesn't allow them to see the truth.
Paul: Yes, you are correct. There is much greater understanding among your mindal scientists about these things. This is one of the results of evolution. What can be discovered by evolution does not require revelation, does it? Revelation is only necessary when information cannot be obtained from efforts of your science. Those probably were accurate descriptions of the process that went on in my mind. But most people do not understand their defense mechanisms in time to prevent them from working. (Hmmm!) However, it is one of the goals of the Correcting Time to thoroughly elucidate these processes, because the more fully you understand yourself, the greater the chance that you can give up your bad habits. Putting it otherwise: that which is unconscious cannot be changed. That which is conscious, can be. (Yes) Sigmund Freud, the great mindal scientist, is currently out of favor. However, his contributions are still very pertinent; and you may have noticed that the tactic of the teachers does in some ways resemble psychoanalysis, as well as other types of mindal therapies. I would prefer to think of them as "reality therapy", because that is their purpose.
My friends, our time period is past. This has been most pleasant for me. Once again, I am honored to be in your midst. As I said before, we are connected and one day will visit freely in the morontia worlds.
Bob S.: It is we who are honored.
Paul: Thank you. Let us stand and Minearisa will offer prayer.
Minearisa(Bill): Let us pray in the words of your hymn. Almighty, Invisible, God only wise, in light inaccessible, hid from our eyes. Let our hearts relax and rest in You. Help us to remember the touch of the hand, its comfort and its obligation, to take comfort in each other and bear each other's burdens. Now, my Father, I thank You for the universe of Nebadon in which I am privileged to live and serve. I join with all the enthusiasm of our team to bring Christ Michael's era of Light and Life to this, His home planet. Send these brothers and sisters forth to their work of joy, their harvest of peace, and their life of love. Amen.